madison_ash Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Was I right to trust my gut instinct and break it off? I’ve suspected my boyfriend of 10 months of cheating, but he always seemed to have a rational explanation for everything. I snooped through his phone and his male friend send him a text asking what he was up to, and he replied “spending the evening with that hot number from the lobby”. I checked the date, and we were not together that evening. When confronted, he claimed he lied to his friend because he didn’t want to go out, and used me as an excuse, saying that I was the “hot number from the lobby”. A month later, I suddenly had a very strong feeling he was cheating on me, however I had no evidence. As the months progressed, I would find condoms on top of the dresser that I did not recall using as I was on my period the last time we were intimate and didn’t use condoms. I questioned him about them, and he denied any involvement with others and proceeded to ask what type of diamonds I liked, very quickly attempting to change the subject. I went on the pill, we quit using condoms, and from then on out I counted all of the condoms to ensure I wasn't going crazy. Fast forward 3 months later, and sure enough one condom goes missing within a few weeks of him going out by himself to bar hopping (meat markets) by himself while I was at home sick, saying it was nice to get out and “be social”. Then, I found a note from a girl saying "thank you for a lovely evening, I can't wait to see you Wednesday." (every Wednesday I have a standing date with my daughter) I asked about the note, and he said it must have got stuck to something in the bathroom as it was from an ex girlfriend who he quit seeing in '14. Two days later while I was house sitting for him, the cat knocked over the kitchen garbage. As I was sweeping up the contents, I found two panty liners that were not mine. They weren't the brand I buy, and I hadn't been to his apartment in a month due to travel. I asked which woman had been in his apartment recently, and he claims no other woman had been there since since his 85 year old mother visited in October. Pretty sure he’s changed the kitchen garbage from 2 months ago, and she’s been through menopause so doesn’t need panty liners. While I never did “catch him in the act”, I would appreciate feedback - was I right to trust my gut instinct and break it off?
ExpatInItaly Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Yes, you were right to break it off. I don't think he's an honest person. I would also get tested; if you weren't using condoms anymore and he was out looking for women, you need to protect your health.
Quest Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I think you were right. Your ex doesn't sound trustworthy.
mightycpa Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Which part of you doesn't want to see things for what they are? You've pretty much spelled it out for us, written your story in a way that it is impossible to think anything else. So what part do you have trouble with? 1
Captivating Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 You were right on track but for some unknown reason you were giving him the benefit of the doubt over and over again. Why ?? Were you so much infatuated/in love with him that you couldn't believe it ?? Yes, he is a player. There are many nice guys out there being much more compatible with you. Once you find one of them you will never look back. Keep an open mind and start dating again. I know it's hard right now.... 1
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