Kchristine Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 This is an extremely weird situation, so I apologize in advance. Alright, so I went to a private Christian high school, graduated in May of this year, and got to know my principal very well. He was also my math teacher & we formed a sort of special bond. Nothing sexual. It's indescribable, though. He really favors me. It's fishy looking from the outside, and it probably comes as a shock that our closeness has not gone into an affair type deal. He has a wife and kids, but I still have a crush on him. I don't see him as often since I'm in college now, but I still see him at church. That's almost made it more intense, the fact I don't see him as often. I've gotten to know his family as they've been a part of my life for 5 years. His daughter supposedly prays for me and even looks up to me as a role model. Me & him have been emailing since August 2014, and it has always been innocent. It's stuff like, how's your day, discussing religious/other problems, telling jokes to each other, etc. I've gotten angry at him a few times just out of the blue, maybe just taking my anger out or something. But he ALWAYS forgives me and NEVER gets mad. I feel so ashamed, even more so since we're all Christian & the Bible condemns my feelings. Like tonight, I just got back from a 50th wedding anniversary shared by a church couple, and my old principal and his family sat at the table next to ours and it was extremely squished. Him and I were across from each other in the aisle but basically facing each other the whole time. We smiled at each other and talked almost the whole evening. With him being flanked by his wife and children! I really like him but I can't feel this way! I have no idea what to do.
The Way I Am Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 (edited) Stop emailing him. Don't explain why. Just stop responding. If he asks in why, apologize and say you've been really busy. If there's any legitimate thing you need to contact him about, contact him through his wife. Avoid spending any time with him until you're over the crush. Remind yourself that you don't have a special bond. The people he has a special bond with are his wife and kids. As soon as you have any thoughts about him that give you tingly butterfly feelings, think instead about everyone in the church, everyone you went to high school with, his wife, his daughter, and even him shunning you and calling you a slut and a homewrecker. Picture him continuing on with his life like nothing happened while you're sitting at home in tears and can't go to the things you used to go to because 1. he'll be there with his family and it'll be too painful to see 2. the rest of the church and/or your high school friends and teachers look at you like you're a dirty wh*re. Because if you ever got involved with him, that's what would eventually happen. It's not fair, but society generally lets cheating married men off the hook and shames the women they cheated with. That's likely to be amplified in a church setting. Or picture making a fool of yourself by confessing your feelings and him looking embarrassed and sorry for you as he tells you he never meant to give you the wrong impression. Then picture him and his family awkwardly avoiding you and people in the church talking and snickering about your embarrassing crush behind your back. If none of that works, pour a bucket of cold water over your head. Find something else to occupy your mind. You're young and eventually you'll find somebody else to have a crush on. There's nothing to be ashamed of - yet. You're not the first girl to have an inappropriate crush on an authority figure. Don't ruin your life over it. Edited December 13, 2015 by The Way I Am
Snakechammah Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 You are at a cross road now: You can go ahead a ruin a family... or you can turn away and live your life without sin. Choose to do GOOD. Stay away from this man. Let his family be happy. You are in college, young and beautiful - Go find a single man your age to someday create your own family with. There are MANY, MANY MEN out there, who are single, emotionally-balanced and looking for single girls. Look at this forum - plenty of them complaining they can't find women - why not choose them? This old dude is TAKEN. A wife and children. Think about it!
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