Was I right to trust my gut instinct and break it off?

[madison_ash]

I’ve suspected my boyfriend of 10 months of cheating, but he always seemed to have a rational explanation for everything. I snooped through his phone and his male friend send him a text asking what he was up to, and he replied “spending the evening with that hot number from the lobby”. I checked the date, and we were not together that evening. When confronted, he claimed he lied to his friend because he didn’t want to go out, and used me as an excuse, saying that I was the “hot number from the lobby”. A month later, I suddenly had a very strong feeling he was cheating on me, however I had no evidence. As the months progressed, I would find condoms on top of the dresser that I did not recall using as I was on my period the last time we were intimate and didn’t use condoms. I questioned him about them, and he denied any involvement with others and proceeded to ask what type of diamonds I liked, very quickly attempting to change the subject. I went on the pill, we quit using condoms, and from then on out I counted all of the condoms to ensure I wasn't going crazy. Fast forward 3 months later, and sure enough one condom goes missing within a few weeks of him going out by himself to bar hopping (meat markets) by himself while I was at home sick, saying it was nice to get out and “be social”.

 

Then, I found a note from a girl saying "thank you for a lovely evening, I can't wait to see you Wednesday." (every Wednesday I have a standing date with my daughter) I asked about the note, and he said it must have got stuck to something in the bathroom as it was from an ex girlfriend who he quit seeing in '14. Two days later while I was house sitting for him, the cat knocked over the kitchen garbage. As I was sweeping up the contents, I found two panty liners that were not mine. They weren't the brand I buy, and I hadn't been to his apartment in a month due to travel. I asked which woman had been in his apartment recently, and he claims no other woman had been there since since his 85 year old mother visited in October. Pretty sure he’s changed the kitchen garbage from 2 months ago, and she’s been through menopause so doesn’t need panty liners. While I never did “catch him in the act”, I would appreciate feedback - was I right to trust my gut instinct and break it off?

[almond]

It wasn't just a gut instinct...you had evidence that this guy was clearly cheating.

 

You definitely did the right thing.

[madison_ash]

Thank you for the input! He said the condom was used to masturbate with, so that is one detail I failed to mention which cast a shadow of doubt.

[yourownchicken]

 

Then, I found a note from a girl saying "thank you for a lovely evening, I can't wait to see you Wednesday." (every Wednesday I have a standing date with my daughter) I asked about the note, and he said it must have got stuck to something in the bathroom as it was from an ex girlfriend who he quit seeing in '14.

 

I am appalled..... This.... This guy is nuts...... You definitely made the right call.

 

Be that as it may, I'm also sorry to hear about it. I hope you find someone better than him.

 

Best of luck,

yourownchicken

[road]

Thank you for the input! He said the condom was used to masturbate with, so that is one detail I failed to mention which cast a shadow of doubt.

 

 

Guys do not use condoms for that, unless they think their hand has been cheating on them.

[Redfisher]

Good work, It sucks when you have that feeling and have to go into investigate mode..Hard part now is to stop looking and just let him go...Do not ask for answers to questions you'll never get it will drive you insane...Good luck I'm sure the next man will be a gem.

[Space Ritual]

Thank you for the input! He said the condom was used to masturbate with, so that is one detail I failed to mention which cast a shadow of doubt.

 

 

Wow you learn something new every day....why spend money on a Rubber to jerk off in when you have plenty of socks hanging around just waiting to be able to stand up in a corner?

 

Madison, you were well within reason to dump him, I am only sorry for you that you did not do it sooner.

[mrldii]

...While I never did “catch him in the act”, I would appreciate feedback - was I right to trust my gut instinct and break it off?

 

Absolutely. Anyone who's a sane, rational, *normal*, well-adjusted adult (i.e., without irrational jealousy tendencies) should trust their gut - and heed the evidence - without having to put themselves through the experience of hanging in there 'til actually "catch [the other] in the act", and see *it* with their own two eyes.

 

 

The only thing(s) you did *wrong* was accepting his really lame excuses for so long.

 

 

Best of luck to you, OP...

[Lois_Griffin]

Thank you for the input! He said the condom was used to masturbate with, so that is one detail I failed to mention which cast a shadow of doubt.

I laugh every time I hear that freakin' bullsh*t from cheaters. Jesus, they're nothing if not predictable with their lies.

 

As someone else said, this was MUCH more than gut instinct.

 

Get yourself tested for STDs since pig boy was out getting strange wherever he could.

[No Limit]

Next time, trust your gut earlier. Cheaters always have a new excuse at hand.