Loneliness

[Jefezen]

Whether you are the dumper or dumpee, for how long do you feel lonely following a breakup?

 

Usually, I'm the dumpee and that stings for several months, even years, although my recovery periods are shorter as I become more experienced.

 

The first time I dumped a girl, it was after a three month relationship where I never felt that invested in the first place. When I finally broke it off, I felt an immediate solace and relief. No recovery period necessary. The girl did nothing wrong. She was decent looking, pleasant, a good match on paper. I just wasn't into her, at all.

 

My most recent dumping experience is trickier for reasons I won't repeat in this thread. I liked the girl herself, it was the complications that come with her, through no fault of her own, that prompted me to end the relationship. Now I feel lonely, depressed, and confused. The angst is not as bad as during the days leading up to the breakup, but I still have it, and I also feel guilt, shame, and doubt over whether it was the right decision. I can't think about anything else. I go back and forth in my mind with it endlessly. I check her Facebook page to see whether she's defriended me. I can't bear to look at our pictures together; they serve as a reminder of her immense sweetness and physical beauty.

 

I have many supportive friends who keep urging me to go out with them, and I do, but my head isn't really into it, and I remain crestfallen. I prefer being alone even though all I do is wallow in a self-pity of my own creation. After all, I was the dumper! The non-responsiveness on dating apps from other women I've contacted doesn't help either.

Edited December 13, 2015 by Jefezen

[makemineamac]

Sometimes even when you do the right thing it breaks your heart. It's ok to feel the way you do and it will likely last awhile. Even as the dumper it can totally suck.

 

It will eventually get less and less painful but there's no concrete timeframe.

 

Hang in there, you'll get there eventually.