Jefezen Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 If we are in a relationship and suddenly feel a tremendous angst about it to the point of chronic insomnia and physical distress, should we trust that feeling and act upon it by terminating the relationship? When should we or shouldn't we rely on impulse and instinct? Do we sometimes misinterpret these subconscious cues?
Amelie1980 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Yes. Especially with wildly different religious beliefs. It's only been 6 months. Cut your losses. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I'm a firm believer that your gut never lies. Always follow it. 1
Author Jefezen Posted December 13, 2015 Author Posted December 13, 2015 Amelie, not just in my instance from the other thread, but in general, would you say that gut instincts are generally sound?
Amelie1980 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Amelie, not just in my instance from the other thread, but in general, would you say that gut instincts are generally sound? A bad feeling can lead to a self fulfilling prophecy. We cause the problem. But you shouldn't be feeling this way after 6 months.
Mcnulty Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Always trust your gut instinct, it's rarely wrong in my experiences.
geronimo Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I'm very conflicted with gut feelings, looking back, sure I should have followed them and should have known that my ex was not that into me anymore. I think the best thing to do in the case of gut feelings is to talk it out with close friends, especially ones that know you and your relationship, having that 3rd person view helps and usually people can see better from the outside than we can from within the situation. 1
mightycpa Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Your gut instincts can be dead wrong. Take, for example, what happens after your partner dumps you out of the blue. Every fiber in your being says to go beg and plead and cry and make a pest of yourself. Dead wrong. Those gut instincts cannot be trusted. But what you describe is different, I think. You're reacting to intangibles, rather than to events. If being with someone gives you the willies, then yes, it's time to pause, even if everything is fine and you're the one who is all ****ed up. 3
mrldii Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 *Normal*, healthy, well-adjusted adults should be able to trust their instincts. Based on the limited premise of the OP, I'd at the very least let my gut instincts be the impetus for a heart-to-heart with the person I'm seeing; based on what came of that conversation, then I'd decide whether I'm staying or going. Best of luck to you, OP...
Wewon Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Your gut instincts can be dead wrong. Take, for example, what happens after your partner dumps you out of the blue. Every fiber in your being says to go beg and plead and cry and make a pest of yourself. Dead wrong. Those gut instincts cannot be trusted. But what you describe is different, I think. You're reacting to intangibles, rather than to events. If being with someone gives you the willies, then yes, it's time to pause, even if everything is fine and you're the one who is all ****ed up. Agreed. I can think of several times when a gut instinct steered me right, i can also think of several times when a gut instinct sent me off the edge of a cliff. In the times when it was right it was because my subconscious was picking up on things that I didn't directly notice (inconsistencies, things being out of context, emotions that weren't sitting right). However, there are other times when that gut instinct was nothing more than pride, fear of change, ego, impatience or spite. OP, is there anything specific about the relationship that you can say is not sitting well with you? 1
marky00 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Yes and No. Gut instinct definitely needs to lead to a pause and some reflection. However, I find gut instinct can only be fully trusted when you are the very top of your game (i.e. no other crisis in your life outside of the relationship). Its kind of like the situation where you have a big decision to make and you have a holiday coming up and you make a quick decision because you want to be released of the burden before your holiday. Actually if your are mature enough and you have learnt to increase your emotional pain threshold, it would be far better to take the holiday.... hardly even think about the decision.... then if a decision comes to you.... it can be trusted. 1
Meli22 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 If there is a reason then yes it's often good to listen to your gut. If you've just woke up with a bad feeling for no reason, and you're considering blaming that on your relationship, take a trip to the doctors. It's either anxiety or bad paranoia. Gut feelings aren't always right.
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