smackie9 Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 He's not emotionally available. I would just move on. 1
Space Ritual Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 Ive been talking to this guy quite a bit for the past while. He is nice...and we have been talking but his mom is dieing of cancer...we messaged a lot back and forth last night....he said he didnt want to get too serious about anything right away...but its funny... he says I should visit one moment...and then lately hes saying he doestn have time for anything else in his life right now because of his sick mom and he doesnt know if shes gonna make it to christmas. I completely understand but I dont know what I should do...if I should wait until he does want me in his life...or if I should give him space and move on.. Please give him space. When my mom was dying of cancer I was all over the place between wanting someone to vent to and wanting to be alone with my thoughts. And it dragged on and on well afterwards she did die and I was an emotional mess for a number of years afterwards coming to grips with it and I certainly was not someone worth dating. To say I was emotionally unavailable would have been an understatement. I think it may be the same case here. We guys have a deep emotional bond with our mothers and the loss of one is usually pretty earth shattering. So you would probably be better served by moving on in the interim. If he has recovered somewhat in a few months maybe you can pick up again where you left off. I must warn you that if you do continue to be in contact with him you may find yourself in a very precarious position of having some sort of role as an emotional crutch thrust upon you by no fault of your own.
Author krista28 Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 Thanks space ritual...sounds about right..
brokengirl85 Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 He's not in a good place to date you or anyone right now. Look for someone who can give you what you want, a date at least.
Author krista28 Posted December 25, 2015 Author Posted December 25, 2015 So almost two months ago I started talking to a guy that lives a couple hours away I just got back in contact with. We started talking almkst daily but he later told me he wasnt looking for anything swrious after before telling me he wanted to see me and see if we could start something. Now I very rarely hear from him and its only if I initiate it im so disappointed and feel led on I dont know how to act...I dont know if hell even ever talk to me again...
Mjm1014 Posted December 25, 2015 Posted December 25, 2015 Why do you feel like an idiot? No offense but he should be the one that feels like an idiot! I dated a girl for awhile like that. She always wanted to talk or get together then tell me she didn't want anything serious. Long story short it didn't go anywhere and I got sucked into her "trap." Basically they want their cake and want to eat it too with no strings attached which isn't fair to you. We've all been there. It sucks but you need to let him go:/
katiegrl Posted December 25, 2015 Posted December 25, 2015 (edited) krista, this is your sixth thread complaining about this bozo in less than a month. You received some great responses on all those previous threads, why start another one? He is so not interested, who cares why, move on. Please. He is also a liar. No offense, but this is ridiculous... and you sound obsessive. You haven't even seen him in ten years for chrissakes. Move on. Edited December 25, 2015 by katiegrl 1
mattelipstick Posted December 25, 2015 Posted December 25, 2015 He is not leading you on. He told you flat out he isn't interested. He isn't contacting you. You being unable/unwilling to let go is your fault, not his.
William Posted December 25, 2015 Posted December 25, 2015 Folks, I think I got all the relevant threads merged into one discussion. If there are any stragglers, alert on them and we'll get them cleaned up. Please continue the discussion in this thread. Responses from the thread starter may be delayed briefly. Thanks and happy holidays!
katiegrl Posted December 25, 2015 Posted December 25, 2015 Krista, if you are still reading, if there is anything you learn from this experience, it's this: **People are allowed to change their minds.** Which is what happened here. He may have thought of you here and there in those ten years you did not see or talk to each other... and when you got back in touch, he may have thought he wanted to start something with you again... But after chatting/texting with you a bit ...he changed his mind! He said he thought you were needy and clingy..and tbh he could be right....given all the various threads you have felt compelled to create discussing this. Which have now all been merged into one. You allowed yourself to get way over-invested in a guy you have not even seen in ten years. Work on that ... Good luck and Merry Christmas!
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