moveongirl Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I have been with my high school sweetheart since the age of 14. We are both 20 years old and in college. This couple of months we had a hard time communicating and had many problems in the relationship he wanted to break up and we did for a day but then i asked him to take some couple therapy and he said yes we decided to get an online couple therapist , After a few sessions everything was going fine now one of his closes friends told me he has doubts about the relationship and that he does not see me as the women he loves because if he did then he would not look for attention on other women. He has not cheated on me (that i know off) but i see him pulling away . We were doing so good after the therapy and now again he has this doubts. He is my everything , i don't have any other friends or noone to rely on. I am going on a trip in a week and i feel like he will break up with me when i leave. I don't know how to stop this. I need help. I want him us, this is all happening during finals too and i cant even concentrate everything hurts. I wake up crying and go to sleep crying. I have asked him what changed but i know he is to scare to tell me he has doubts and i am scare to hear it from his own mouth. How can i get him back? Please help
basil67 Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that because you've got no other friends and no-one else and he is your everything, he's probably only with you because of pity. It's not love - rather, it's about him not being able to watch you sink if you're on your own. Have you considered therapy to become a stronger person? To become someone who has friends and knows she can survive with or without this guy? Perhaps instead of doing couple's therapy, concentrate on making yourself the type of person who he wants to be with - as opposed to being a person who he's with because of pity.
mightycpa Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 You could dump him. Watch what happens then.
itisdanielle Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I agree with what basil67 said, about you having no friends so he is your everything. That would be a lot of pressure for anyone - in a relationship, I like to know that whoever I am with has a life other than me. Maybe put as much time and focus into working on yourself. You seem to want to do absolutely anything to make sure he is happy with you, but what about being happy with yourself? It is cheesy, but it's really true that you can never have a successful, healthy relationship with someone if you're not happy on your own first.
Meli22 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 You seem more worried about the thought of breaking up rather than focusing on the bigger picture which is, he isn't as committed as you are and he's pulling away, having doubts, and basically heading on a straight short road to breakupville. You could beat him to it, or you could just prepare yourself for the outcome. Whatever happens you'll be okay. Take this guy out of the centre of your universe and place him elsewhere because you're certainly not the centre of his. If any party starts pulling away, having doubts for no explainable reason, just hold the door open for them and find someone else who couldnt even picture being without you. FWIW I've been in your shoes, probably almost everyone has. I walked away because I realised "F this, I deserve better" - it's not rocket science
d0nnivain Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 OL therapy is a crock. Sorry. I hope you didn't waste too much money. Sadly, high school sweethearts rarely last. Your relationship is about to become another statistic. But that's OK. It will always be an important part of your past but that doesn't mean it's your future. Go to the mental heath clinic at your school. Talk to them. Make some new friends at school. It's time for you to grow
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