brandon26003 Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I'm 35 she was 33. We met online. We talked for about a week before going on a date. Date went great last weekend. Before we actually met she said that she was a bit intimidated because we had more intelligent conversation than she has ever had with someone she met online. She even brought up several times that things were going great between us. We met closer to her place for the first date. She lives 90 minutes away. A few days ago we made plans to go on a 2nd date tonight. I asked her if the distance bothered her. She said she didn't like it, but it was manageable. She asked if it was a problems for me and I said no. She was going to meet me at my place and we were going to go to dinner and a movie. I hadn't heard from her for a few hours so I called. It went straight to voicemail. I was going to send her a Facebook message and noticed that she had blocked me on facebook. She also blocked me on the dating website. What the heck happened? The only thing that I can think of is that I made a facebook post earlier today about washing my comforter at the laundromat and how expensive it was to wash. A friend posted that I shouldn't be gross and wouldn't have to wash it. Was she thinking that I had another female here last night? I was just doing laundry and making sure everything was spotless before she got here. I'm frustrated. I'm ready to throw in the towel. Why would she block me out of the blue? It's unlikely that she knows anyone that knows me that could be spreading rumors because of the distance. What do you guys think?
smackie9 Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I think she felt you were expecting sex tonight...and she got turned off. She probably had a lot of run ins with guys just wanting to smash and dash. She freaked out. 4
smackie9 Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Tip: don't friend a person you are dating on your social media. 7
Author brandon26003 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 That's definitely possible. She is the one that suggested meeting at my place so she didn't get lost. I was going to suggest meeting at the restaurant. WE were even talking this morning and she seemed real excited about coming down. Don't know why she wouldn't have just said something and blocked any way of me contacting her.
Erik30 Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I was just doing laundry and making sure everything was spotless before she got here. It was probably your Facebook post. It gives the impression that you're expecting to have sex with her. But it's still rude of her to just disappear and block you without saying anything.
mortensorchid Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Who's to say really? It just wasn't meant to be for whatever reason. Move on.
StBreton Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Oh this is sad to hear...really sorry OP. I, too, think the girl saw the post and got freaked out...that maybe you had someone over last night or you had presumptions about her sleeping with you tonight. Girls are pretty shell shocked with OLD stuff...and I don't blame them. FWIW...I wouldn't have explained to you...but I would have text a cancellation and blocked. Re: social media, I totally agree with Smackie. I don't add anyone to FB till I know them for at least 3-5 years...old old school I know but better that way. Discretion is the better part of valor. Hold back on things like over communicating/sharing. I hardly recommend getting a message to her explaining what you think happened but if you really feel strongly for the girl and know her email, maybe drop her a line. Good luck.
Author brandon26003 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 I know it is likely the facebook post. I honestly wasn't washing it because I was expecting sex. It needed washed because I haven't washed it in a few months. On to the next one.
winny Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 1. Do not add someone to Facebook so soon. 2. Do not post such useless stuff on Facebook. :p Good I have de activated Facebook... life is so simple without it Still it may or may not be the post on FB. Anyways she has made her intentions clear so all you can do is move on. 1
truth_seeker Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Lets see... she sees the washing the comforter post, and then thinks about how she's going to your place - 90 minutes away from her place - for dinner. By the time dinner and the movie are over, it's late and you suggest she can stay over instead of driving 90 minutes back to her place. She can go in the morning. The blocking was an easy way out. She doesn't have to explain herself to you and there's a lot of distance between you two, so no worries of bumping into you. If you guys lived near each other, I bet she would have texted you something bogus like she didn't feel any sparks or chemistry in case she bumped into you somewhere. OP - it could be possible the first date didn't go well, for her at least, and she accepted a second date to be nice but really didn't want to go out with you again. I can understand your anger with the blocking. It's like getting a door slammed in your face. She is 33 and blocking people on FB. Let her go.
okc85 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Who knows. Bullet dodged, though, if that's how she treats people. 5
Author brandon26003 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Posted December 13, 2015 She mentioned when she suggested coming to my place that she wouldn't be able to stay because of her dog. I'm sure it had something to do with the Facebook post. The frustrating thing is that I waited around all day and didn't even get the courtesy of a text or call so I could make other plans.
hasaquestion Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Who knows. Bullet dodged, though, if that's how she treats people. Yeah. I can see how the comforter post on Facebook could come off strange. But if you don't want to go anymore you tell the other person because they are investing a lot of time into the encounter. Its perfectly ok to stop seeing someone. Its damn selfish to take their time up anyway. 1
losangelena Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Oh god, OP, I'm so sorry! That is so sh*tty. I wouldn't spend too much time trying to figure out what went wrong. I have a hard time believing that it was some FB post about a comforter that turned her off. Why would she assume it had anything to do with her? As if you're trying to get her ready for sex via vague social media posts? I can hardly believe that. Even if she thought it was a little strange, I can't imagine it's worth BLOCKING you over. Blocking should be reserved for creeps and weirdo and harassers, not men you don't have the balls to say "no thanks" to. Whatever her reasons, I really don't think it's because of anything YOU did. Please don't internalize it as there's something wrong with you. It's her issue. 1
pizzaro Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 It wasn't the blanket. That is just your mind searching for a rationalization. Here's the thing: You don't add people you just went out on one date with to your social media. You're basically telling her your whole life story without giving her the opportunity to find out bit for bit. It could have been an old post of yours that she saw. It could have been an unattractive picture of you. It could have been something about your past. It could have been ANYTHING. Fact of the matter is you don't add someone you just went out on one date to your social media.
okc85 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 (edited) Yeah. I can see how the comforter post on Facebook could come off strange. But if you don't want to go anymore you tell the other person because they are investing a lot of time into the encounter. Its perfectly ok to stop seeing someone. Its damn selfish to take their time up anyway. Yea, I just think she should've told him she wasn't interested. It's rude to just completely blow someone off when you have plans. If she told him she wasn't interested, he could've made other plans. But yeah, I think we should always be careful what we post on social media, haha. Life lessons I guess. Edited December 13, 2015 by okc85 typo
Author brandon26003 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Posted December 13, 2015 Thank you. It's hard not to beat myself up over it. She kept saying how she couldn't wait to see me, even this morning. I'm thinking she just got scared that she liked me, and that her defense mechanism was to completely block me. It is sh*tty. Real sh*tty. She'll probably try to unblock me and apologize soon.
Myragal Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 No idea. Could've anything. We don't know her perspective. Was she sane? Appears so. So I wouldn't dismiss her action as some type of spontaneous rudeness. She didn't slam the door for no reason. Just remember...she can read a lot about you via Facebook. Friends? Do you list those? Do you post on their pages? Baffles me how people put out personal matters for all the world to see. It Will not only impact relationships but future employment, etc. Even your 'likes' on this thread. If I was dating a guy and he liked some remark about dodging a bullet...yikes...not the guy for me.
oberkeat Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I think she felt you were expecting sex tonight...and she got turned off. She probably had a lot of run ins with guys just wanting to smash and dash. She freaked out. Her reasoning is irrelevant. There's no excuse. What this woman did was horrendous. It should be a crime for women to flake like this and to stand someone up. All flaking should be illegal.
still_an_Angel Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 She thought the connection between you two is on an intellectual level, she probably thought there will be a good discussion after the movie. Then she reads your post and thought you are really after sex after all. Bad case of misunderstanding I reckon. Not an excuse for the rudeness though. 1
Ami1uwant Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Had this happen to me before. We lived about the same distance apart but in the same large metro area on opposite ends. Had a great first date, and kissed. Had plans for a second date...then poof. I think she went back to a recent broken up boy friend or she was farther along with someone else she was dating. The other possibility is you said something that seemed like nothing was read very differently with her. Never become Facebook friends/twitter followers until you are in an established relationship.
Author brandon26003 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Posted December 13, 2015 Christmas got cheaper, lol.
dobielover Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Sorry, OP. I agree it was likely the FB post. She knew you knew she'd see it... Her reasoning is irrelevant. There's no excuse. What this woman did was horrendous. It should be a crime for women to flake like this and to stand someone up. All flaking should be illegal. This level of overreacting is what should be illegal.
dobielover Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Christmas got cheaper, lol. Why? After two dates it shouldn't have been much... Perhaps you did have expectations?
TheTraveler Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Thank you. It's hard not to beat myself up over it. She kept saying how she couldn't wait to see me, even this morning. I'm thinking she just got scared that she liked me, and that her defense mechanism was to completely block me. It is sh*tty. Real sh*tty. She'll probably try to unblock me and apologize soon. Wait for her to contact you. And move on in the meantime.
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