understanding this girl [updated 2016-07-27]

[fred123]

so this girl i have been seeing the last 2 months. we are meant to be casually dating. she said shedoesnt want a commitment at the moment.

i said I'm happy with the same thing.

 

my question is why is it hard to organise to meet her in person? i suggested 3 times i was free last week and a date next week and she said she would let me know and that i shouldn't plant things in advance. all she does is text me every day and gets annoyed when i dont reply or i reply with one word answers. we speak on the phone a lot.

i dont want that. i want it to be casual like she said so why she acting like this???

[mrldii]

Why does the 'why' matter?

 

Whatever her reason (real or imagined, legitimate or completely fake) for not being available, her inability to be available isn't working for you.

 

Nexxxxxxxt!

 

 

[fred123]

Why does the 'why' matter?

 

Whatever her reason (real or imagined, legitimate or completely fake) for not being available, her inability to be available isn't working for you.

 

Nexxxxxxxt!

 

 

 

its just that she isn't making sense! doesn't want commitment but is acting like my girlfriend by texting all the time!!

[mrldii]

its just that she isn't making sense! doesn't want commitment but is acting like my girlfriend by texting all the time!!

 

Oh. My bad. I didn't realize that what you do want is to be in a casual relationship with a woman who doesn't make sense.

 

Then, by all means, do NOT "Nexxxxxxxt" her, and continue on the merry-go-round of not knowing the the hell is going on when it comes to her.

 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

she likes the attention you give her but gets cranky when you're not attentive enough. it's an ego thing. (ie. "How can he not respond promptly to moi?!")

 

When she gets annoyed, remind her she didn't want commitment and that you're behaving accordingly. It almost sounds to me like she is seeing someone else, hence the inability to nail down a date-time.

 

If you don't like her approach here, just stop seeing her.

Edited December 12, 2015 by ExpatInItaly

[phineas]

Tell her she knows what you want and if she isn't offering it to stop wasting your time.

 

seriously, if she was interested in you and thought you had options she'd be making plans to meet you.

 

Me personally when a I ask a woman out, anything but a "yes" = "no" and I move on.

You should consider adopting the same method.

[fred123]

i thought women like a guy who tries to make plans and meet them in person?

rather than wanting to just text all the time. texting shows no effort. actually making plans does. i have no idea why its so difficult to make plans to meet up.

 

esp when people live 5 minutes away!!

[casey.lives]

women Do like a DO-ER more so than a talker guy

[Hopeful30]

Well there's your mistake. You thought 'women' liked this.

 

Every woman is different, we don't all want the same things.

[fred123]

So what does it mean and what do i do when a girl messages me all the time but makes it hard to make plans to meet?

 

She isnt into me? How do i deal with this?

[katiegrl]

So what does it mean and what do i do when a girl messages me all the time but makes it hard to make plans to meet?

 

She isnt into me? How do i deal with this?

 

You move on. She wants a texting buddy, not someone to actually date....

[carhill]

i thought women like a guy who tries to make plans and meet them in person?

 

Yes, men they're attracted to.

rather than wanting to just text all the time. texting shows no effort. actually making plans does. i have no idea why its so difficult to make plans to meet up.

 

esp when people live 5 minutes away!!

 

Time filler.

[fred123]

You move on. She wants a texting buddy, not someone to actually date....

 

She will ask me to go to the gym together with her. It seems to be easy to organise gym dates qith her.

[d0nnivain]

She's doing what she wants & what makes her happy.

 

 

You want her to act more like what you understand the "average woman" wants. However, that is not her.

 

 

Enjoy the gum dates instead.

[fred123]

She's doing what she wants & what makes her happy.

 

 

You want her to act more like what you understand the "average woman" wants. However, that is not her.

 

 

Enjoy the gum dates instead.

 

She flakes and changes plans all the time when i try set them. I ask her 99 percent of the time to meet and they never materialise. Its the same girl from the previosu thread. We been dating 2 and half months. I asked her 2 weeks ago to give a day she is free this coming week and we can do something. And she never did. I want to see her this week but iv askes her twice if these days are ok. All she said just now was she is free to go gym tomorrow morn?!

[xcupid]

She flakes and changes plans all the time when i try set them. I ask her 99 percent of the time to meet and they never materialise. Its the same girl from the previosu thread. We been dating 2 and half months. I asked her 2 weeks ago to give a day she is free this coming week and we can do something. And she never did. I want to see her this week but iv askes her twice if these days are ok. All she said just now was she is free to go gym tomorrow morn?!

Better hit the gym with her then. That seems to be the best way to get to know her right now.

[d0nnivain]

Fred I think you like her & are more invested in this then she is. Sorry

[Erik30]

If she only lives 5 minutes away and never wants to hang out, she's not interested.

However, she likes the attention you're giving her... it keeps her busy and gives her a nice ego boost until she meets some other guy who she will make time for. Then the texting with you will stop.

[Gaeta]

So what does it mean and what do i do when a girl messages me all the time but makes it hard to make plans to meet?

 

She isnt into me? How do i deal with this?

 

You put too much importance in the fact she text you all the time. It means nothing. When you are into someone you want to SEE them. She is just killing time with you and she is probably texting several other men all the time too.

 

In your other thread you said you don't want anything serious so why is this a problem? What do YOU want? Be honest with yourself.

 

This girl told she she didn't want anything serious at this time so she is true to her word. Not being serious means exactly what she is doing. She will spend time with you when there is nothing else more interesting to do. It could be once every 2 weeks or once a month.

 

So we're back at you. What do YOU want?

 

If you want to see a girl each week or a couple of times a week - she is not it for you.

[fred123]

You put too much importance in the fact she text you all the time. It means nothing. When you are into someone you want to SEE them. She is just killing time with you and she is probably texting several other men all the time too.

 

In your other thread you said you don't want anything serious so why is this a problem? What do YOU want? Be honest with yourself.

 

This girl told she she didn't want anything serious at this time so she is true to her word. Not being serious means exactly what she is doing. She will spend time with you when there is nothing else more interesting to do. It could be once every 2 weeks or once a month.

 

So we're back at you. What do YOU want?

 

If you want to see a girl each week or a couple of times a week - she is not it for you.

 

so then why does she get annoyed when i dont reply to her for a day??

[fred123]

You put too much importance in the fact she text you all the time. It means nothing. When you are into someone you want to SEE them. She is just killing time with you and she is probably texting several other men all the time too.

 

In your other thread you said you don't want anything serious so why is this a problem? What do YOU want? Be honest with yourself.

 

This girl told she she didn't want anything serious at this time so she is true to her word. Not being serious means exactly what she is doing. She will spend time with you when there is nothing else more interesting to do. It could be once every 2 weeks or once a month.

 

So we're back at you. What do YOU want?

 

If you want to see a girl each week or a couple of times a week - she is not it for you.

i guess i do like her now esp since i feel like her boyfriend. we speak on the phone every night in bed and she vents to me about her problems. i feel like her boyfriend

[Gaeta]

i guess i do like her now esp since i feel like her boyfriend. we speak on the phone every night in bed and she vents to me about her problems. i feel like her boyfriend

 

That's not being her boyfriend. That's being her BFF. You've been friendzoned.

[fred123]

That's not being her boyfriend. That's being her BFF. You've been friendzoned.

 

but we kiss, cuddle and have sex albeit we only had sex once

[fred123]

but we kiss, cuddle and have sex albeit we only had sex once

 

i also thought the same thing that if she liked me she would want to SEE me in person rather than text non stop. i told her this exactly surely u rather see me in person?!

[Gaeta]

but we kiss, cuddle and have sex albeit we only had sex once

 

Turn it around.

 

If you had a female friend who told you this story, that her boyfriend didn't make efforts to see her and took 1-2 days to reply to her text but he would have sex with her under HIS term. What would you tell her?

 

If what this woman is offering you is not enough then you need to find a girlfriend that will. This is dating. It's about finding someone compatible. Not about cligning to an unsatisfying 2 month relationship