truth_seeker Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 No body is suggesting she settles with someone she is not attracted to. We are suggesting she keeps an open mind. Why not go on a date that is 5'11'' he may surprise her and spark something in her. It happened to me more than once. I went on dates with men I felt so so about and after 2-3 dates I was totally infatuated. Giving a guy a chance is different than staying 2 years in a relationship with a man you feel no attraction for. Do you think your quote here: ''The Biggest Coward Is A Man Who Awakens A Woman's Love With No Intention Of Loving Her '' - Bob Marley could be reversed for the OP?
d0nnivain Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 On the contrary. If i'm not looking for specifics, then I'm wide open, and I will consider more than someone who knows *exactly* what they want. This should be easier. I think the more specific you are, the harder it will be to find a partner. Whereas myself, I just look for good qualities overall, relationship type, and sexual attraction. I mean, you think it would be easy... When I say specifics I don't mean he must be 6'1 3/4, born in May, make $x per year & like rocky road ice cream. I mean you need to know something about his values. What I put out to the universe is I wanted a man who I was attracted to, who had a solid work ethic, was honest, had a great sense of humor that matched mine & who was a solid, stand up guy. I married a sexy Marine. But do think about the qualities you seek. 3
Wewon Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 On the contrary. If i'm not looking for specifics, then I'm wide open, and I will consider more than someone who knows *exactly* what they want. This should be easier. I think the more specific you are, the harder it will be to find a partner. Whereas myself, I just look for good qualities overall, relationship type, and sexual attraction. I mean, you think it would be easy... Actually certain specifics can keep you out of trouble. The desire for a certain education level, life style etc. are quantifiable and eliminate a lot of false starts. Being too open on things can keep a person bouncing around and reinterpreting things. I don't know how many times I've seen threads where vague concepts such as "chemistry" was the wrench (spanner) in the works. I think what causes more problems is people not being honest with themselves on where certain traits rank in priority. There are lots of people that can list out their desires in a way that would make any mother proud, but they don't want to admit to themselves, when a choice has to be made, looks will trump a 'good heart' until about the age of 35 and even then it will still be a close race.
xxoo Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 On the contrary. If i'm not looking for specifics, then I'm wide open, and I will consider more than someone who knows *exactly* what they want. This should be easier. I think the more specific you are, the harder it will be to find a partner. Whereas myself, I just look for good qualities overall, relationship type, and sexual attraction. I mean, you think it would be easy... It really does depend on how narrow "sexual attraction" is. And how also how healthy the attraction pattern is, as some people are most attracted to people who display poor relationship potential.
Wewon Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 When I say specifics I don't mean he must be 6'1 3/4, born in May, make $x per year & like rocky road ice cream. LMAO! 1
Author Hopeful30 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Posted December 13, 2015 This is the height post of which others are referencing. I'd just like a guy to be a few inches taller than me so I can wear heels and not tower over him...so 5'9' + is good for me. I used height as an example. People seriously misunderstood that. wow lol When I say specifics I don't mean he must be 6'1 3/4, born in May, make $x per year & like rocky road ice cream. I mean you need to know something about his values. What I put out to the universe is I wanted a man who I was attracted to, who had a solid work ethic, was honest, had a great sense of humor that matched mine & who was a solid, stand up guy. I married a sexy Marine. But do think about the qualities you seek. The exact same qualities that I myself possess I suppose (just male version).
Imajerk17 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 (edited) RE your post #77: It's probably going to take more than going to a few events and get-togethers w friends at someone's home or at pubs, Hopeful30. Furthermore, dressing casual isn't at all the same as actually being approachable. Do you actually smile at guys you see out and about? I mean, if you aren't, we may see you and still be attracted, but if you look closed off, we typically will assume you don't want to be bothered and not approach. I've known a plenty of single women (and men)who were looking for love, and they put significantly more effort than this. It's a reason why the responses you've received have been somewhat critical. You don't need to apologize for your preferences, at all, but you are going to have to put yourself out there even more to find him. You got some really good suggestions from other posters. Another suggestion for you is joining a CrossFit box and going regularly. Lots of guys (and women but typically more men than women) in great shape 20s and 30s. If nothing else make friends, chances are they have single guy friends. Meanwhile you will get into great shape and find yourself happier and more confident too. All wonderful things, in and of themselves and for attracting a great partner. Edited December 13, 2015 by Imajerk17 1
Natalie8 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I'm not being bitter. I asked some questions to which most posters are not answering but instead trying to give me advice on things they are assuming I have issues with. Again, assumptions. I think you got some very good replies on here and they were indeed responding to your question. I mean what do you expect to a question such as are there relationship-material single guys out there? No there isnt any. Yesterday there was one left but now he started dating someone and so now we are out of good men. You and me sister, we will both be single forever... Of course there are such guys out there. Are you seriously asking this question? Really? And you want a yes or no answer only? And if people expand on their answer that it means they are avoiding your question. And the poster who said your mindset determines the kind of men you meet was right. 1
truth_seeker Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I think you got some very good replies on here and they were indeed responding to your question. I mean what do you expect to a question such as are there relationship-material single guys out there? No there isnt any. Yesterday there was one left but now he started dating someone and so now we are out of good men. You and me sister, we will both be single forever... Of course there are such guys out there. Are you seriously asking this question? Really? And you want a yes or no answer only? And if people expand on their answer that it means they are avoiding your question. And the poster who said your mindset determines the kind of men you meet was right. You women say no good single men are left... more like no good single men want YOU. Ever think YOU are the problem or the reason why your are single? Probably not...
TheTraveler Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I feel like experimenting and walking around with a wedding ring on for one month.
StBreton Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I used height as an example. People seriously misunderstood that. wow lol The exact same qualities that I myself possess I suppose (just male version). I totally understand Hopeful...it's just that height is a hot "trigger" topic for many so the many will jump on it...point it out that that is one of the reasons you aren't finding someone. 2
StBreton Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I feel like experimenting and walking around with a wedding ring on for one month. You mean an engagement ring? How man carats?
TheTraveler Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 You mean an engagement ring? How man carats? I am a guy so I meant platinum band will do.
StBreton Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 You women say no good single men are left... more like no good single men want YOU. Ever think YOU are the problem or the reason why your are single? Probably not... Care to expound upon some reasons why good single men would pass on a woman? What you know about the OP from this thread or in general? This might help. 1
Natalie8 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 You women say no good single men are left... more like no good single men want YOU. Ever think YOU are the problem or the reason why your are single? Probably not... Im not sure why you feel the need to attack me personally and say that no good men want me and that the problem is me. I know the problem is me. I said they were OF COURSE GOOD QUALITY SINGLE MEN OUT THERE. I couldnt belive the op even asked this question. And here you come in and attack me. There was just no need for that. Just no need man. Really.
Author Hopeful30 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Posted December 13, 2015 I feel like experimenting and walking around with a wedding ring on for one month. Ha! DO it!!
Imajerk17 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 (edited) I totally understand Hopeful...it's just that height is a hot "trigger" topic for many so the many will jump on it...point it out that that is one of the reasons you aren't finding someone. I agree 100%. I think there is also a good amount of projecting going on this thread, which I regard as useless noise. I don't think Hopeful30 needs to justify or explain ANY standards--physical included--she may have for her partner. Her task in dating is to find someone who is right FOR HER, not to be doing community service for guys who may struggle in dating. If, say, Hopeful30 really wants to be with someone big and tall then that is whom she should be on the lookout for. Per my previous advice on this thread, I (and I think you and a lot of other people on here) just think that Hopeful30 needs to *own her own role* in finding a partner e.g., putting herself out there more to meet someone right for her, and not say that it is due to lack of good available men ect. If her standards are more specific, which again is fine, it may take more time and effort on Hopeful's part to find the right guy for her. Edited December 13, 2015 by Imajerk17 2
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 The wedding ring / piece of jewelry isn't what makes married folks get the attention. It's the happy upbeat feeling of being in love that allows them to project positive attractive energy into the world. Nobody is attracted to the sullen angry person with a black cloud over their head. 2
TheArtist Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 It's the happy upbeat feeling of being in love that allows them to project positive attractive energy into the world. Definitely! Whenever I'm in a relationship I do notice that I get more female attention, whether it's eye contact or just asking me questions in the street. This stuff never happens when I'm single so it must be down to that confident glow I give off. 1
Diezel Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 Yes, they are ALL taken, and you aren't getting into any of this action. Probably because there is an issue with a specific common denominator. What kind of a thread is this?
TheArtist Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 Yes, they are ALL taken Hey, I'm not taken! Oh, I see what you're saying now. Hmph.
gaius Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 The vast majority of single men (and even many taken ones) are total duds, so it's probably not as much your fault as a lot of people are making it out to be. Just keep looking and you'll find him eventually.
Imported Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 The best parking spots are the ones reserved for you. How do you get a spot reserved? Well, if you gotta ask, then you're not gonna get one. Of course when I say best parking spot, this is behind the disabled parking spots. But you gotta be disabled or elderly to park there. And you better damn well be. I hate seeing perfectly capable people parking there.
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