Hopeful30 Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Is it true? Are all relationship-material men taken? Every man that I consider is either in a relationship, or married. That makes sense of course, because I want the qualities that would make a man a good boyfriend/husband. But are there any relationship-material guys who are SINGLE? I'm relationship material, but I've been single for almost two years now (my choice). I'm waiting on a guy who will really be worth it. I'm tired of being with a guy just because singlehood sucks. That being said, are there any men that are the same? Or once a woman shows interest a man just goes with it? Do men hold out like women do? 1
d0nnivain Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Maybe I'm lucky. More probably I just think I am lucky so therefore I am. I always get good parking spots, even at the Mall at Christmas. Most of the men I deal with are good guys at heart. I know a number of good single men but I see a lot of women who don't know how to hang on to them. Men need love & appreciation too. All relationships take work. Sometime you do have to teach people how to treat you but you have to be willing to meet them half way. You also have to willing to say you are wrong or sorry. You also have to be willing to invest in a diamond in the rough. I'm not talking about a true fixer upper man but someone who needs a little time. When I met DH in my 30s he was still going to college part time OL. Many of my friends urged me to dump him because he didn't have his act together. I saw a man with a vision. Granted it took him longer than most to come up with that vision. He has since graduated & has a great job he loves. People tell me how lucky I am. 11
gaius Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I'm taken now but I had periods when I was single. You just have to be lucky enough to stumble on a good one at the right time, which can take a while sometimes. 6
Popsicle Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I'm taken now but I had periods when I was single. You just have to be lucky enough to stumble on a good one at the right time, which can take a while sometimes. Totally agree with this. I fully believe that it's down to luck and chance. 1
Redfisher Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 all the taken guys were single once and probably not any better then the single guys today....you just think they are because they are in a relationship. 8
thefooloftheyear Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 There are definitely way more cars than spots, so it pays for women to be on their game at all times, or they are gonna do a whole lot of driving... TFY 1
Gaeta Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Plenty of single good men. Doesn't mean you would date them tough and probably for silly reasons like he's too short, too boring, too nerdy, etc etc. Good men also come with flaws and their parking spot isn't necessarily right in front of the door you might need further in the back. 7
Author Hopeful30 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 Maybe I'm lucky. More probably I just think I am lucky so therefore I am. I always get good parking spots, even at the Mall at Christmas. Most of the men I deal with are good guys at heart. I know a number of good single men but I see a lot of women who don't know how to hang on to them. Men need love & appreciation too. All relationships take work. Sometime you do have to teach people how to treat you but you have to be willing to meet them half way. You also have to willing to say you are wrong or sorry. You also have to be willing to invest in a diamond in the rough. I'm not talking about a true fixer upper man but someone who needs a little time. When I met DH in my 30s he was still going to college part time OL. Many of my friends urged me to dump him because he didn't have his act together. I saw a man with a vision. Granted it took him longer than most to come up with that vision. He has since graduated & has a great job he loves. People tell me how lucky I am. Answers none of my questions lol Totally agree with this. I fully believe that it's down to luck and chance. That makes me feel worse lol. Not everyone has good luck and chance. There are definitely way more cars than spots, so it pays for women to be on their game at all times, or they are gonna do a whole lot of driving... TFY By that logic, those of us who don't find parking will forever wander aimlessly... how lovely...
Woggle Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 If you have the attitude that there are no good man or no good women for a man it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. The mind subconsciously tunes out things that contradict a person's biases. 7
Author Hopeful30 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 Plenty of single good men. Doesn't mean you would date them tough and probably for silly reasons like he's too short, too boring, too nerdy, etc etc. Good men also come with flaws and their parking spot isn't necessarily right in front of the door you might need further in the back. Thanks for the judgements...
Glitters Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Just like men think that all the good women are taken ! Its not true. Many men and women are single by choice and looking for the right match instead of getting someone to just avoid being single. Men also have bad experiences, as women do. It doesnt make either bad people.They hold on till they find themselves with their match. 5
Author Hopeful30 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 If you have the attitude that there are no good man or no good women for a man it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. The mind subconsciously tunes out things that contradict a person's biases. More assumptions... did anyone even read the post?
gaius Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Totally agree with this. I fully believe that it's down to luck and chance. My girlfriend is incredible, and I was lucky enough to start talking to her right around the time she was getting ready to date again. If it had been a year earlier or later it might have been different. And she was lucky enough to catch me right when circumstance allowed me to move close to her. If I hadn't it might have been different also. There is a lot of luck and chance in it. Maybe even fate. It's not all that's involved, but it can play a part for sure. 1
Redfisher Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Having a bad week hopeful? You are very bitter. I hope you find the answers you need. 1
truth_seeker Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Is it true? Are all relationship-material men taken? Every man that I consider is either in a relationship, or married. That makes sense of course, because I want the qualities that would make a man a good boyfriend/husband. But are there any relationship-material guys who are SINGLE? I'm relationship material, but I've been single for almost two years now (my choice). I'm waiting on a guy who will really be worth it. I'm tired of being with a guy just because singlehood sucks. That being said, are there any men that are the same? Or once a woman shows interest a man just goes with it? Do men hold out like women do? I'm single. Are all the relationship-material women taken? I'm not trying to be a jerk but you say you're relationship-material. Are you? I've met women who say every guy they meet are losers. Just talking to them, I think they're a loser blaming men for all their problems. Now, I'm single because I'm picky and stubborn. I refuse to settle. Either I'm going to meet the "one" or I'm not. In the meantime, I go about my business, i.e., live my life. 1
Gaeta Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Thanks for the judgements... Actually I am not judging you. I am YOU. I have been looking for a 'good man' for over 4 years and I still didn't find. I also know it's not because of 'men' it's because of ME and my expectations. If I look back in the 100s of dates I went on there were among them GOOD men! that I dismissed for silly reasons. It's human nature, you are not any different then me, or any other women out there looking. 3
xxoo Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 You're going to have to make your own luck by recognizing a good one that others have overlooked. Like attracts like. There are single men out there thinking that all the good women have been taken. What else do those men have in common with you? 3
burnt Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Men are like parking spots...all the good ones are taken… Re: parking lots… I hate driving, and only drive when I'm out of options. I hate parking also. I never even TRY to park on the spots what most people refer to as "good". I drive all the way end of the lot, where it's all empty, park comfortably, and then enjoy a good long walk to get to the building. And I chuckle seeing other people driving in circles again and again looking for an empty slot in the most crowded locations. I don't have to feel their frustration or disappointment, nor do I have to worry about forgetting where I parked at the end of the day. I suppose it boils down to the fact that my definition of "good" spot is different than theirs. So now about the actual post about men, perhaps it comes down to your own definition of 'good'. Maybe the ones who are not taken are 'good' in different ways. 7
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Seriously men say the same thing all the time about women. You do kind of have an ... attitude that's coming off in this thread. Maybe you're not CONNECTING with the good guys you meet. There are "good ones" and if they're wanting to be in a relationship they are pairing up. Maybe take a bit of a look within?? :) 4
Author Hopeful30 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 Actually I am not judging you. I am YOU. I have been looking for a 'good man' for over 4 years and I still didn't find. I also know it's not because of 'men' it's because of ME and my expectations. If I look back in the 100s of dates I went on there were among them GOOD men! that I dismissed for silly reasons. It's human nature, you are not any different then me, or any other women out there looking. That's a very strong assumption. I could be anyone in the world and here you are stating you know exactly who I am because we are the 'same'. No darling, we are not, even if our relationship status may be.
oregon0011 Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Is it true? Are all relationship-material men taken? Every man that I consider is either in a relationship, or married. That makes sense of course, because I want the qualities that would make a man a good boyfriend/husband. But are there any relationship-material guys who are SINGLE? I'm relationship material, but I've been single for almost two years now (my choice). I'm waiting on a guy who will really be worth it. I'm tired of being with a guy just because singlehood sucks. That being said, are there any men that are the same? Or once a woman shows interest a man just goes with it? Do men hold out like women do? Same for women. Single, sexy, or sane. But you can only have two of the 3.
Author Hopeful30 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 I'm not being bitter. I asked some questions to which most posters are not answering but instead trying to give me advice on things they are assuming I have issues with. Again, assumptions.
carhill Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Is it true? Are all relationship-material men taken? It must be. Every man that I consider is either in a relationship, or married. That makes sense of course, because I want the qualities that would make a man a good boyfriend/husband. Makes sense to me too. The important, IMO, caveat is that they have the qualities *and* want to be your boyfriend or husband *and* are attractive to you. But are there any relationship-material guys who are SINGLE? I'm relationship material, but I've been single for almost two years now (my choice). I'm waiting on a guy who will really be worth it. I'm tired of being with a guy just because singlehood sucksEvidently not. Or you'd be in a relationship with one, or married to him. That being said, are there any men that are the same? Or once a woman shows interest a man just goes with it? Do men hold out like women do?Depends on the man. Hetero men of my generation got started young, generally during/after high school, had wives and children young and essentially know nothing else. They're far more likely to aggressively pursue new partners when their relationships/marriages are winding down and move on to those partners in demonstrative way once legally single. Why? Because that's their life path. It's what they know and want. IMO, that's important, to know what and who one wants. It's also attractive. A woman wants to know the man she finds attractive feels compelled to be with her. Depends on her. Loves her. It's quite stimulating. Keep looking. You'll catch one at the right time for the two of you. Don't worry about the rest of us guys. We're not right for you. Good luck! 1
Author Hopeful30 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 Same for women. Single, sexy, or sane. But you can only have two of the 3. You can have all three It's hard to spot though, especially because many men assume that great women all have boyfriends, meanwhile these same women are wondering why men don't approach them. Ohhh silly world 1
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 So now about the actual post about men, perhaps it comes down to your own definition of 'good'. Maybe the ones who are not taken are 'good' in different ways. I have a little issue with judging masses of people as "good" and "not good" as well as the concept of "relationship / marriage material." Also only "considering" married or people in a relationship. That is not a positive mindset for looking for love. Sure there are plenty of bad people but I don't think that fact is really a dating problem.
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