Author Truguystx Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 Just hoping I have not been put into the "Friend" zone already..
Versacehottie Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 It's on you to progress things if she hasn't by now. The fact that she's accepted and gone on 3 dates with you is the confirmation that she's ok with you going in for a kiss and her being receptive . If she didn't want to kiss you, she wouldn't go out with you more than once. Once I got more in tuned with dating I realized that when a girl says yes to going on a date or hanging out with you, she's done the math in her head, however briefly it may be and decided that she'd be ok with at the very least kissing you. If she wasn't, she wouldn't say yes to going out. Despite what you may think, girls don't just use guys as free meal tickets. It's not like you're taking her to these world renowned restaurants and very hard to get in places that she won't have the chance to ever go to again. I'm always surprised by how many guys think this. They're not these food connessuers who take every chance they can to eat restaurant food lol. You can even get the kids out of the way early the next time you have a date with her. Pick her up, and when you're on the way to wherever you're going, after the initial "hey how are yous, what'd u do this week" talk... At a red light or when you park , before you get out, reach over, turn her chin towards you "Think I can get a kiss now? Been dying to since I dropped you off last time so I won't be able to concentrate on dinner till I get one" in a charming lighthearted tone . If you have the personality to get away with it, some can, some can't. Just know that she'll be ok with it and don't be insecure Thank you Qboro!!! Where are you to say exactly these things when there are other threads that guys worry about this!!!!!! I'm constantly surprised too. It's simply not true for the majority of women. If you don't like a guy, it is very uncomfortable to be on the date--most girls are not going to put themselves in that position for a bowl of pasta that they can buy themselves!!!! If a girl keeps accepting dates, she wants to go out with you. And yes has done the math, and knows a kiss is coming and is fine with that. Very simple.
Versacehottie Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Just hoping I have not been put into the "Friend" zone already.. Well you met on a dating site so I wouldn't worry about that. Assume she is looking to date someone not make friends. If you knew each other professionally or through friends, this might be more of an issue--though I still don't think she would string you along. I think you need to do the next date and contact with her with more confidence. People do have initial interest and start figuring out if you are a good romantic match along the way so it's definitely time to step it up. What have the conversations been like?
GemmaUK Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Sorry, I haven't read all of the posts here but how much intimacy have you shared on these dates? EG Touching, arms around, hand on knee, sitting perfectly close, real flirting with eyes and all etc? It sorta only sounds like the only thing is a platonic hug at the end of an evening?
Myragal Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 (edited) Are you going to spend the next 40 years only eating? Nothing else in common? A hike, going to a play, dancing, etc. I like an active date...its a chance to hold hands, throw snowballs at each other. I would be surprised if a man didn't try to kiss me after our first date. I like affectionate relationships ( not to be confused with early sex) so would not date a man again who did not kiss me. I only continue to date when if see him as my potential partner. Not for something to do. If you do go for dinner first, tell her you are hungry,reach across, take her hand and kiss her fingers. DO SOMETHING spontaneous and romantic Edited December 12, 2015 by Myragal
smackie9 Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 You should have saved the 100 buck dinners for when you are exclusive or at least see things heading that way. Date #1 today people have this just to be a 45 min meet up for coffee. Chat, get a feel for one another....maybe hit a bookstore afterwards, or go for a nice walk. Date#2 simple date, don't spend anymore than 30 dollars. Seriously you shouldn't have to spend $$$ on dates. Meet up at a nice pub for dinner and spend your time with good conversation. Date#3 after you have gotten to know her more, be creative and plan this date around something she likes, like going to an art gallery, ice skating, play pool, or whatever. It gives her that feeling of togetherness, having fun, sharing activities, etc. If things are not heating up a little by date #4 (holding hands? a kiss?) then cut your losses, no date #4. IMO men shouldn't dump a bunch of money on dates that they don't see going anywhere. The whole deal is to get to know one another, and hope there is some chemistry...not how much is in your wallet. Dinner, a dinner and another dinner sorry to say is boring, no thought into the date, and doesn't really get much accomplished when looking for companionship/relationship. Just my 2 cents.
SwordofFlame Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 What exactly has she done so far to reciprocate interest? Pay attention to her ACTIONS. It seems like you've paid for the dinners, always initiate communication and plan the dates. Does she even flirt? It sounds terribly one sided. I would move on if I were you and don't make the mistake of giving away $100+ dinners on each of the first three dates. 1
Eighty_nine Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 May i ask how old you are? I am 30 years old and won't even consider sex until a month of dating. I think it's crazy that people are willing to sleep with virtual strangers (that's what someone is to me after only 2-3 dates) 1
Author Truguystx Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 Truthfully, I have wanted to but have not tried. Was looking for signs but date ended with just hug and did not want to come off as too pushy / aggressive.
Author Truguystx Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 Think I will try for date#4 but try to do something more active like local botanical gardens to see holiday lights? That way gives opportunity to hold hands, etc... Our conversations on dates have been great I think. Most time we are at restaurant talking after dinner with each other until place closes. usually 3-4 hours has been typical length of dates so far.. 2
Author Truguystx Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 GemmaUK Have basically been hug at beginning and end of date. Have been able to sit next to each other once due to booth in restaurant rather than table.. Really need to brush up on dating skills apparently..
katiegrl Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 (edited) What exactly has she done so far to reciprocate interest? Pay attention to her ACTIONS. It seems like you've paid for the dinners, always initiate communication and plan the dates. Does she even flirt? It sounds terribly one sided. I would move on if I were you and don't make the mistake of giving away $100+ dinners on each of the first three dates. Agree with this ^^. OP be careful here. I have friends (actually ex-friends now) who enjoy being taken out to nice restaurants regardless of how they feel about the guy. As long as he was paying, their attitude is ..why not! It's not right, but it is what it is. Reality. They were in full control of the situation, and if they did not want that kiss to happen....they would do exactly what this chick did, and make a point of initiating *the hug*....thus avoiding *the kiss.* With this behavior, they would usually get around 3-4 nice dinners with the guys before they tried to become physical, after which she would turn him down...and stop dating him. Contrary to what some may think, there *are* women who will continue to date a guy and allowing him to take her out to nice restaurants and paying ....either as a distraction from some other guy they *are* into.....or because they enjoy fine dining, and if a guy is willing to pay, why not. IMO when a woman IS into you, you would not be posting on a message board asking. You would KNOW. Via her actions. Her responsiveness, her openness... her body language, mutual chemistry! The fact she continues allowing you to take her out on nice dates means jack shyt. I am sure she finds you pleasant enough to chat with for a few hours....and of course she gets to enjoy the dining experience without having to pay for it... many women are into that...as sad and wrong as that sounds. Edited December 12, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Versacehottie Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 You should have saved the 100 buck dinners for when you are exclusive or at least see things heading that way. Date #1 today people have this just to be a 45 min meet up for coffee. Chat, get a feel for one another....maybe hit a bookstore afterwards, or go for a nice walk. Date#2 simple date, don't spend anymore than 30 dollars. Seriously you shouldn't have to spend $$$ on dates. Meet up at a nice pub for dinner and spend your time with good conversation. Date#3 after you have gotten to know her more, be creative and plan this date around something she likes, like going to an art gallery, ice skating, play pool, or whatever. It gives her that feeling of togetherness, having fun, sharing activities, etc. If things are not heating up a little by date #4 (holding hands? a kiss?) then cut your losses, no date #4. IMO men shouldn't dump a bunch of money on dates that they don't see going anywhere. The whole deal is to get to know one another, and hope there is some chemistry...not how much is in your wallet. Dinner, a dinner and another dinner sorry to say is boring, no thought into the date, and doesn't really get much accomplished when looking for companionship/relationship. Just my 2 cents. I disagree that the dates need to follow the progression you outlined above and the parts about money. Everyone is different; that's why there is variety in the world. Good conversation over dinner can be great. I think OP and probably his date just sounds like they've been out of the dating game a little while, follow more traditional patterns and are a little nervous. Hopefully this thread doesn't turn into ANOTHER one about who/how much to pay on a date. He just wants to know how to take things with her to the next level physically. my 2 cents is that the 45 minute coffee thing is boring and uninspired and routine. If a guy wanted to do that on my first date with him, I'd be already thinking he was kinda boring and rigid. Just saying.
Redfisher Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I am 30 years old and won't even consider sex until a month of dating. I think it's crazy that people are willing to sleep with virtual strangers (that's what someone is to me after only 2-3 dates) Not my experience, But i value what you stand for.
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