winny Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Hi Friends, Please help me understand this guy. So I have a guy friend at work who I hang out with. Sometimes we have conversations which go like this: ---------------------------- He: Whoa you are too much dressed up today! Me: But I dress up like this every day... He: Who are you trying to impress? Are you trying to impress <random guy's name> Me: What??!!! No!! Why would I wanna impress him! What the heck are u talking about... ------------------------------ He: Whoa arent u a bit too much dressed up today! Me: But I always dress up this way... He: Whats the use... no one is looking at you anyways... Me: How does that matter! ------------------------------ Does this guy like me or hates me? Whats his deal? What should I say the next time he makes a comment like this? Thanks for reading.
truth_seeker Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 He's into you but is going about it in a school yard kinda way. 1
Author winny Posted December 11, 2015 Author Posted December 11, 2015 What do you think of him? He is a fun guy otherwise... and makes me laugh a lot... i love to be around him but when he makes comments of this kind it pisses me off no end and I try to be cool but sometimes I get angry n leave.
TheTraveler Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 He is a fun guy otherwise... and makes me laugh a lot... i love to be around him but when he makes comments of this kind it pisses me off no end and I try to be cool but sometimes I get angry n leave. He likes you. But, the comments are awful.
StBreton Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Agree with TheTraveler...your co-worker thinks negging is the way to your heart...oy vey:confused: 1
Space Ritual Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 He is a fun guy otherwise... and makes me laugh a lot... i love to be around him but when he makes comments of this kind it pisses me off no end and I try to be cool but sometimes I get angry n leave. Recovering Cretin speaking here.... He likes you much more than he is letting on but he is trying to go out of his way to sound somewhat disinterested with the deadpan stuff. The comments about dressing up for someone else's benefit, coupled with the backhanded comment about no one looking at you is a dead giveaway. He figures you will be more attracted to him if he seems detached. It's kind of a weird condition some of us guys suffer from when we lack confidence and we can be hyper critical and milquetoast all in the same sentence. I know that schtick well. I was guilty of it in my younger years. It was a complete turnoff and I was the last to figure it out. Your best course of action is to ignore him for awhile. It may be the only way he figures out it isn't working. If he sees it has no effect he will eventually change his tune. or not. either way you will be better off ignoring him. 2
GemmaUK Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 He may like you or it may just be his sarcastic form of office banter. Then again, you maybe need better come backs eg 'Yeah, hot date after work' or 'Yeah, we all got the memo that the big boss was coming in - clearly you didn't get it...' As it is you are justifying yourself and then getting angry or annoyed which he can see happening so for him the wind up is definitely working! He might just be a winder-upper. My boss tries it with me and sometimes I don't always have an evil enough come back...but when I do....hell I do! Lol! 1
Space Ritual Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Gawd... what a cringe goon. I was looking for a name for my new band...you just named it for me. Thanks! 2
Robratory Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 He: Whoa arent u a bit too much dressed up today! Me: But I always dress up this way... He: Whats the use... no one is looking at you anyways... Here's what I would do. Next time he said something like that, I'd smile and ask, "Why are you insulting me?" Smile and do not act hurt or angry. He will probably stammer for a few seconds, letting you get back in control. And from there, you can take it wherever you want. You can be forgiving and reassuring, telling him that it's ok, that you're not really offended, but that he should try compliments instead of insults. Or you can be nasty about it and mock him for being a grown man who's basically still a ten-year-old putting frogs in Susie's backpack because he doesn't know how to tell her he likes her. 1
mrldii Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 OP, what does it matter 'what he means by this' (as to whether or not it means he likes you or not)? You should be more concerned with the fact that you like someone who may let their interest in another be known by 'negging' them and putting them down. IF it's true that we teach others how to treat us, then you're teaching him that treating you badly IS way to go. You shouldn't do that to yourself. Best of luck to you, OP... 2
TheTraveler Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 IF it's true that we teach others how to treat us, then you're teaching him that treating you badly IS way to go. If a female was texting me those messages, she's OUT! Next!
kendahke Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 He is a fun guy otherwise... and makes me laugh a lot... i love to be around him but when he makes comments of this kind it pisses me off no end and I try to be cool but sometimes I get angry n leave. He sounds passive aggressive and negative. I'm sure his humor masks his self loathing. Your dressing well for work diminishes him in some way--he probably thinks he's not good enough already and you dressing well, to him, means that you want to attract someone better than him. I can totally see why, considering his weak sauce put-downs. I'd tell him to not to speak to me--do you really need someone in your life who feels you need to be taken down a notch every time you dress for work? 1
oberkeat Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Hi Friends, Please help me understand this guy. So I have a guy friend at work who I hang out with. Sometimes we have conversations which go like this: ---------------------------- He: Whoa you are too much dressed up today! Me: But I dress up like this every day... He: Who are you trying to impress? Are you trying to impress <random guy's name> Me: What??!!! No!! Why would I wanna impress him! What the heck are u talking about... ------------------------------ He: Whoa arent u a bit too much dressed up today! Me: But I always dress up this way... He: Whats the use... no one is looking at you anyways... Me: How does that matter! ------------------------------ Does this guy like me or hates me? Whats his deal? What should I say the next time he makes a comment like this? Thanks for reading. If he's tossing those comments around in the workplace, I'd say it's quite inappropriate. Pretty risky on his part. 1
Author winny Posted December 11, 2015 Author Posted December 11, 2015 Agree with TheTraveler...your co-worker thinks negging is the way to your heart...oy vey:confused: But that just pisses me off .. LOL
Author winny Posted December 11, 2015 Author Posted December 11, 2015 He may like you or it may just be his sarcastic form of office banter. Then again, you maybe need better come backs eg 'Yeah, hot date after work' or 'Yeah, we all got the memo that the big boss was coming in - clearly you didn't get it...' As it is you are justifying yourself and then getting angry or annoyed which he can see happening so for him the wind up is definitely working! He might just be a winder-upper. My boss tries it with me and sometimes I don't always have an evil enough come back...but when I do....hell I do! Lol! I surely need to work on my come backs... I suck at them... I will try the ones you said here... I see how I am actually justifying myself when there is no need for that... I do feel he gets some kind of pleasure out of getting a reaction out of me...and I wonder why because otherwise he would be so nice and friendly and helping... but once in a while he will make these comments... especially when I wear something nice or new.
Author winny Posted December 11, 2015 Author Posted December 11, 2015 You should be more concerned with the fact that you like someone who may let their interest in another be known by 'negging' them and putting them down. Wow thanks.. I didnt think of it this way at all till now... You are right... If I like someone even as a friend I would never make such comments... he does have some kind of issues...
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