1998carthy Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Hi I’ve been dating this girl for only three months but we have seen each other nearly everyday as we work together, earlier this week she broke up with me, saying she needed a break she just wanted to have some fun and we were to different. This came after a rough couple few weeks of well not really arguing, but me saying things that she considers hurtful, She is 22 yo and is from Latvia I’m 27, I think a lot of our problems has come from a language and cultural breakdown. From her upbringing in her homeland she has this perception that a man should pay for everything, now I have no problem paying for dates, I’ve always done that. The problem is she never seemed to particularly appreciate this even when I’m paying for dinner for herself and her young daughter, She has never said thank you unless I’ve bought her a present! After a while this started to bother me, which has sometimes made me annoyed and I will question her behavior. When I do this, she will shut down and go very quiet, thinking I’m attacking her. She has told me in the past that she has used previous boyfriends for financial reasons, but that’s not what she is doing with me. On the whole i do believe her, as she has never actually asked me to buy anything for her, yet I couldn’t help having doubt in my mind, which has not helped me express my feelings about the situation to her as well as I would have liked. She also thinks I have a problem with the fact that she likes to go out, and a lot of her friends are men, although this does bother me a little bit, I’ve never really expressed this to her, apart from saying I find it a bit weird. We fell out last week because long story short, she had told me on a particular night she was going to stay with me at my house. On a week night which she doesn't normally do because she needs to take her daughter to school early in the morning. During that day she tells me she was out till 5am the night before (a week night) celebrating a co workers birthday, I then asked her if she was still staying with me that night, she then seemed confused and said no and that she was only joking because I know she has to be at home early in the morning and shes tired from the night before! we were at work at the time, I told her i didn't want to talk to her right now, she got angry and walked off. After I cooled down I tried to apologize to her and explain why i was hurt. she told me she was sick of me having a problem with her every week! and for me not to talk to her. I then did something I’m not proud of I then proceeded to pester her to get her to talk to me, which only made her more angry, The next day we had along conversation about us, in the end she told me she still wanted to be with me but she was still angry. I thought i would give her a couple of days to calm down and didn’t contact her. I then randomly ran into her as she was on her way to work, she then pretty much blanked me, when I tried to talk to her she then proceed to break up with me. since then i spoke to her again telling her I love her and want to be with her, she wasn’t interested and said she didn't believe me, because someone in love wouldn't treat her like I have. I explained to her that when we started dating i was only expecting it to be a bit of fun and when I started to develop strong feelings for her it scared me a little and I started behaving different because I just didn't know how to handle it because I'm an idiot. I should also point out that I have broke up with her before, for the same reasons that she has, and I know that hurt her. I quickly realized I made a mistake and begged to get her back a few hours later! We are different, but at the same time we are very good together when it is good. I've just tried to understand her better, but i may not explain myself properly and she thinks I'm criticizing her personality and goes cold with me. She has also said she just wants to be friends for now! even though she has said previously she doesn’t believe that ex’s can be friends, this might be down to the fact I’ve told her before that I am still friends with one of my ex’s and she didn't like that! I don’t know. She has been known to be a bit hypocritical sometimes!! I do love her and want her back, but I don't know if its really a good idea! Any advice or opinion would be appreciated. Thank you
PegNosePete Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 She has told you in no uncertain terms that she does not want a relationship with you. I'm afraid that ship has sailed now. You need to respect her choice and move on.
Recommended Posts