notinept Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 So how did/do you handle running into someone who ghosted you ? Yes, that all too familiar scenario; You met, really hit it off, went out on a seemingly good date or several ... all was going good (or so you thought) ! But then it happened ---> They up and disappeared on you without a trace ... Fast forward weeks or months ... and you unexpectedly run into them ! What did you both do/say ? How did the interaction go ? 1
Gold Pile Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I just pretend that their disappearing act was a non issue. " Hey..How's it going"....." I'm good Thanks...blah, blah, I gotta run now, nice seeing you" Neither party mentions it (hopefully), at first the other persons wide eyes indicates more is going on, but by the end they are confused if this was a non issue to you
losangelena Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I had that happen to me once. I'd gone out with a guy; later in the date we'd met up with his cousin. I never heard from him again. Months later I went to a bar with my friends, and guess who was on the dance floor? Yep, him and his cousin. I enthusiastically greeted his cousin, gave my ghost a nod and a smile and danced to the other side of the room. Yes, he did keep looking at me all night.
TheBathWater Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 What did you both do/say ? How did the interaction go ? I pulled her aside and said, "I might have genital warts..." 1
TheTraveler Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I pulled her aside and said, "I might have genital warts..." haha i like that! To answer the OP. Be nice, friendly, quick chat, and move on.
FeelingFireworks Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 (edited) Yes, happened to me. Some months after ghosting episode, a friend in common (who didnt know I v briefly dated ghost) wanted us to meet up with him, I was ok with it. Met up with ghost - he was with friends. One of his mates (without provocation or knowing I'd hung out with ghost) took an instant liking and hit on me relentlessly, later asking me for my number etc. Everyone in the group kept commenting and even joked about how aggressively he was pursuing me, except ghost! Not gonna jump to conclusion he was jealous, perhaps a bit annoyed attention was taken away from him. I was friendly to him though, no issues with that. Later in night ghost told me to call him. I didn't, since it was him who ghosted me after all (plus I'd deleted his number long before). Haven't heard from him since. Don't hate the guy, just indifferent to him. Edited December 12, 2015 by FeelingFireworks
Popsicle Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 Not gonna lie, I would have an attitude with them.
Author notinept Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 Yeah, I ask because I'd never run into one until recently and although I think the whole ghosting behavior is rude, disrespectful, immature etc. handling it with indifference is best, whether it's truly a non-issue or not. Ran into her at a club, where we met actually, I could tell we'd both noticed the other but I purposely ignored her, but when we accidentally made eye contact I figured it was a good opportunity to have a little fun with her. So I went over to her, went right up - real close, looked her in the eyes (like I was trying to look right through her), scanned her up and down a couple times and then tentatively touched her arm (like I was surprised she was real), as we were looking each other in the eyes, I asked the girl right beside her "is there girl standing right here in front of me ?" She answered "yeah !" (with a confused look on her face) then I said "whewww ... good ! I thought I was looking at a ghost !" A smirk on my face the whole time of course, I then went back to my friends and noticed her looking at me with kind of a "damnnn !" (guilty) look on her face pretty much the rest of the night. I'm still laughing at it all a week later...
phineas Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 They are a stranger on the street. Focus on a point behind them & to the side & just keep walking. Had a co-worker do this to me. chased me hard then after 3 dates fell off the face of the earth. Whatever. I was still friendly when I ran into her. 6 months later she did it again. After that she didn't even warrant eye contact when passing in the hall. She actually had a the nerve to call me rude for ignoring her. LOL. 1
Gaeta Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I went out with this man and he ghosted after 3 months dating. I ran into him 10 years later at a dealership. We both went : Holy sh$t!! We had a short conversation about where we were in life and how the kids were doing. It was a shocking moment for both of us. We acted civil toward each other.
TheBathWater Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 (edited) I live in a small but dense city where it is not uncommon for me to pass by three ex-lovers on the same day, sometimes all in the same cafe and all in the same hour! Yes, that has happened. If the relationship ended in their ghosting me, they ignore me completely and avoid acknowledging that they even notice I'm around, as if we never even had a connection in the past. I think of it like snapchat. What was once there is forever gone and forgotten. It's very cold. I wonder sometimes who it really feels more uncomfortable for: me or them. If they would have at least told me they didn't want to see me anymore, it would be A LOT less awkward now, and yet awkwardness is probably what they were trying to avoid in the first place by not talking to me about ending things. Strange the way that works, huh? I never ghost women. When I encounter women I've ended things with, I do acknowledge them. Sometimes it's a smile and a wave, and other times I make small talk for a couple of minutes. I'm an adult about it. I don't feel it necessary to cast people into the bastard role simply because they didn't match my hopes earlier when we were together. I can only think of a few exes who I wouldn't acknowledge or would be rude toward, because they cheated or were abusive in some way. But when most relationships end because it simply wasn't meant to be, I see no reason why we can't be adults, acknowledge each other, and move on. Edited December 12, 2015 by TunaInTheBrine 2
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