Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I've heard it over and over and practiced it myself for years Never ask a man out. Never pursue a man. If he likes you, he'll come to you. Men don't like to be asked out. It's a turn off for them. So I assumed okay, so I didn't. I remember I use to ask guys out all the time. No big deal. But over years, I wanted to experience men asking me out. They did, but I did not like the guys who asked me out. Funny how that happens. I have started liking this guy. I have met him. I think he has a kind genuine face. I haven't asked a guy out for years and feel nervous about doing it. I know it sounds stupid, but can someone give me some advice on this A.) is it a dumb old wives tale I'm hearing that men don't like to be asked out? and B.) what's the best way ( anecdotes/advice) on how to approach a man and ask him out on a date? The idea of it seems nerve wracking.
PegNosePete Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I can't speak for all men, or in fact any other man. Just myself. If a woman asked me out I would be flattered. If I liked her (and was single of course!) I wouldn't hesitate to say yes. The fact that she approached me would not be a problem in the slightest. The best way? Straight up. Would you like to get a drink with me on friday? 3
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 11, 2015 Author Posted December 11, 2015 I can't speak for all men, or in fact any other man. Just myself. If a woman asked me out I would be flattered. If I liked her (and was single of course!) I wouldn't hesitate to say yes. The fact that she approached me would not be a problem in the slightest. The best way? Straight up. Would you like to get a drink with me on friday? Cool. I wonder where this " never ask a man out" thing came about? since when and why is it a rule?
thoreau_lover Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Men are people too and fear rejection as well. Go for it girl! Who cares what society thinks. Don't let something potentially great disappear because you're afraid of rejection. Approach him casually and say, "Wanna get coffee this weekend?"
Cherryz Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 How many years pass by, mentality or thinking's and society may change but the way the man and woman is made stays the same! You can ask a man everything you want. But the man is made to chase. He got all this tools and things inside of him. The woman is made to be chased by man if we talking about chasing for romance ect. So its not in you to chase as a woman while doing it im sure you got tired and wanted man to chase you at a certain point. Beside man is not emotional as woman. So when you chase him he can say yes and all of that and have sex with you all cute,but next day he can move to next girl. Because man is made to chase. What is hard to get and have morals and stand their ground etc. attract them and turn all their man tools to want you and do their best for you. They dont cleave easily. Thats why they chase , and they go hard when they see someone they really want. When a girl is easy or she offering herself, a man thinks she is easy , i dont need to do anything much for this one. Cause she is doing it all i not have to do my "job". And so are many more psychology "behavior" into this. I think the loudest you can do as woman is let the man know. Like is ok for you to let him know you like him. But dont go asking for dates and stuff to him. When you let him know you like him, true what ever way you choose to, if he interested he will do the rest himself. If he dont then you know he is not interested. So you have to move on. And if you go try to do the mans job like ask him for first date or marrying you, often you end up being the one that have to keep pulling the marriage/relationship, because it was all your idea. 1
Cherryz Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Ps: And so woman got also all the tools they need while being chase by a man. Like they are the ones that decide at the end what happen and put the bar and standard for the men to meet! Thats why its important to know your word and have moral and good self esteem. And know the female and male gender. Cause often we surprise why a men or woman dont do this or that. While if we knew how they are made, we would understand eachother better and work better toghater.
Glitters Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 If its nerve wrecking, dont do it. Make yourself available to him and if he is intereseted, he will make a move.Then you show him your acceptance and do the dance !
Islander19 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 You should totally ask him out. I would be thrilled if a girl asked me out. It would also show that she's confident which would be a huge turn on. I say go for it! 3
SwordofFlame Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 A) If he's the type of guy to be turned off by a woman asking him out, than he would have definitely asked you out by now if he likes you. Since he hasn't done that, he's not one of those guys. B) Just approach. Make some small conversation and do it.
jen1447 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Of course you can ask a guy out. ('Rules' lol. ) I've done it many many times. Just face him squarely, hold eye contact, smile, and ask him if he'd like to go out with you sometime. Directness and confidence win, so don't hedge your bets and nibble around the edges. Just go straight for it. Good luck! 2
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 11, 2015 Author Posted December 11, 2015 I think the loudest you can do as woman is let the man know. Like is ok for you to let him know you like him. But dont go asking for dates and stuff to him. When you let him know you like him, true what ever way you choose to, if he interested he will do the rest himself. If he dont then you know he is not interested. So you have to move on. How would you let a man know. You tell him or do you flirt with him?
smackie9 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Strong eye contact, smile.....that should be enough to let him know you are interested IMO.
TheTraveler Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Strong eye contact, smile.....that should be enough to let him know you are interested IMO. Or you know... She could ask him out for a drink and/or offer her # to get together sometime...
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 11, 2015 Author Posted December 11, 2015 Strong eye contact, smile.....that should be enough to let him know you are interested IMO. Hahaha I had this weird vision of me looking him squarely in the eye ( to let him know that I am interested) but forgetting to blink. And this seems purely coincidental, but you know when you look across the room and he's looking at you and your looking at him and it's that weird accidental glimpse at each other and then you continue doing whatever it is you're doing. Is that a fairly normal thing to have happen if you fancy each other?
oberkeat Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Never ask a man out. Never pursue a man. If he likes you, he'll come to you. Men don't like to be asked out. It's a turn off for them. That is such BS! That line of thinking is garbage, pure and simple. I would love for a cute woman to ask me out.
xcupid Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Show you're interested in him. If he still doesn't get the hint, ask him out. What have you got to lose?
ravfour4 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I didn't read any of the responses but yes it's a complete myth. Most successful relationships I know of started with the woman pursuing, it's more natural - she's more emotional, potentially more outgoing and wants a man as a protector. I love it when a woman pursues, everything is easier for both of us. If a guy has to pursue a woman, it likely won't end well. The fact he has to pursue means she's not very interested and pursuing a woman who isn't interested more often than not pushes her further.
StBreton Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I can't speak for all men, or in fact any other man. Just myself. If a woman asked me out I would be flattered. If I liked her (and was single of course!) I wouldn't hesitate to say yes. The fact that she approached me would not be a problem in the slightest. The best way? Straight up. Would you like to get a drink with me on friday? I think this is good advice. However, if you go out for the drink and the guy doesn't initiate contact after that and ask for a proper date, I'd let it go/not pursue further.
ltjg45 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I feel like I am neutral on this "who asks who out" subject. While I do agree that men is more programmed to chase women than vice versa, I couldn't, for the life of me, say that women should not ask out men or that men has to approach women. And that is because it falls in that gender rules area that I completely hate. OP, if you feel comfortable enough to make your interest known to the guy, then do so. If you don't, that is fine too. Just make your interest known to him as best you can and hope that he gets the hint. Just keep in mind that some guys is really dense at getting the hint (like me, for example). As for a woman trying to get my attention, I definitely need a wingman or wingwomen for me to notice. Otherwise, I will never see the difference between being friendly and being romantically interested.
OldRover Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I'm clearly with the "ask him out" crowd. No reason not to. If you're a bit nervous about it, do something very light and casual.... like "I'm going to xxx, why don't you join me there for awhile?", or "Do you like to _____ (pick anything he talked about before) to prompt a yes response. And then say I can meet you there... or could you take me there.... Anything to lightly break the ice. A short lunch, or a quick drink after work, or to look at a new car or something he mentioned, or whatever. But YES, go for it. You'll find out quickly if it could go somewhere. I've been asked out several times by a lady, and I love it. A few I didn't care for, but was polite and declined with "I'll see you around the ------ (place where you first met) sometime, without any commitment. If I'm interested, I'll see her and see where it goes. I ended up marrying one of those women.
GemmaUK Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Go for it! My best relationships have come out of me asking the guy out. Just be prepared for rejection. It happens. I tend to wait for good strong signals that they are interested.
smackie9 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Hahaha I had this weird vision of me looking him squarely in the eye ( to let him know that I am interested) but forgetting to blink. And this seems purely coincidental, but you know when you look across the room and he's looking at you and your looking at him and it's that weird accidental glimpse at each other and then you continue doing whatever it is you're doing. Is that a fairly normal thing to have happen if you fancy each other? Yes it is. BUT the kicker is the smile. If you don't give him a smile it will have them questioning your interest. Guys don't see subtle hints. A smile is like you opening a door to welcome them in. If it's a stranger, they will do a double take to make sure what they are seeing is what they are seeing. Then they should be checkin you out a couple more times before they approach you.
Maggie4 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 All women know how to make a guy ask her out, if he is at all interested. That's why she doesn't have to do it herself, and he thinks he successfully pursued her, when actually she directed him. So many wives are making the decisions but they let the husband believe he made the decision. Everybody's happy.
sportygirl89 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I had been wanting to ask this guy at church out. He's a sports fan so I invited him to an event in a few months. He was really happy with the sporting event. The rest of our bible study he couldn't keep his eyes from wandering back to me through out it. This was all with other people around and I just causally asked him out. I have several Christmas parties tomorrow night one of which he will be there. I plan on looking my best. The rest will be on him or any other potential suitors with my outfit and heels .
OldRover Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 All women know how to make a guy ask her out, if he is at all interested. That's why she doesn't have to do it herself, and he thinks he successfully pursued her, when actually she directed him. So many wives are making the decisions but they let the husband believe he made the decision. Everybody's happy. Well, maybe yes, maybe no. Some guys need some prodding, and when she shows some interest, it may spark his interest. No downside in asking him out, and very easy to do.
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