Mjm1014 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Here's the deal. I dated my gf for 7 months, and I just didn't feel like it was going anywhere. We didn't really see eachother enough to make it work because of our opposite schedules. I felt like it turned into a strong friendship but nothing more, and I've also been thinking about changing jobs and moving back to the city my parents are which complicates things even further. I ended things last night and at the time she took it fairly well, but she did cry a little...today is a whole different story, she's sending me long texts how depressed she is, how I'm her best friend (she really has no friends sadly), and that she's so confused because she thought I was the one. I can tell she's broken hearted and loves me. Deep down I know I made the right decision since I'm just not feeling it like I use to and want more of a "mature" relationship with someone, but it's breaking my heart seeing her so upset. I know I need to go no contact, but the other part of me feels like I should be there for her and I don't want to ignore all her texts. Thoughts, opinions?
pizzaro Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 She just wants validation. Once you give it to her, she will completely cut you off. It's her way of trying to suck you back in. Don't fall for the tears. It's all manipulation. Delete the texts and block her.
PegNosePete Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Continuing to respond will just give her false hope. Tell her that you're sorry, but you haven't changed your mind and are not going to change your mind. Tell her that you feel continued communication will give her false hope of reconciliation. Tell her that you feel it's best for both of you, that you don't talk any more. Tell her that nicely, politely, calmly but firmly. Then don't respond to anything she replies.
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Continuing to respond will just give her false hope. Tell her that you're sorry, but you haven't changed your mind and are not going to change your mind. Tell her that you feel continued communication will give her false hope of reconciliation. Tell her that you feel it's best for both of you, that you don't talk any more. Tell her that nicely, politely, calmly but firmly. Then don't respond to anything she replies. I second this entirely. Continuing to respond and keep the contact up gives neither of you chance to heal. If she doesn't have friends she's even less likely to try and build some friendships if she's still getting that from you, but it's so raw she probably can't see yet that you two are not going to be friends, not until many months have passed and even then it's usually not a great idea. To keep up contact is cruel. Tell her you're not going to change your mind, you're sorry you've hurt her and wish her the best for the future. And then go no contact, block on social media and your phone. Only with silence between you will either of you move on. It sounds harsh but it's way more kinder than months of her clinging onto you with false hope.
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