sweet honeydew Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Most people seem to be going about this dating thing in high speed. I am frustrated. Men wants to kiss on first date, take me on vacation, buy a beach house together, within one week. This is from 3 different men I met. Is it so odd that I don't want to kiss someone unless I know him well enough to decide to be his girlfriend? I responded with "no", "no thanks" "no comment" and they got frustrated. Is it such a difficult concept that I don't kiss and don't get physical until there IS a relationship going? Sometimes I become afraid to date because guys are too pushing, sometimes they become angry with me. Anyone? Women, do you really kiss someone just because you like him? For me, kissing is serious and can't I really get to know the person first? p.s. The men I date is 45-60.
Samhain Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 If I was 45-60 and single, i'd tell a woman I wanna buy you a beach house/take you on vacation to get laid too. If you're dating several people, and some women get googly eyed at that it can't hurt, lol I guess what I'm saying is that's probably what they're doing. 2
SwordofFlame Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Most people seem to be going about this dating thing in high speed. I am frustrated. Men wants to kiss on first date, take me on vacation, buy a beach house together, within one week. This is from 3 different men I met. Is it so odd that I don't want to kiss someone unless I know him well enough to decide to be his girlfriend? I responded with "no", "no thanks" "no comment" and they got frustrated. Is it such a difficult concept that I don't kiss and don't get physical until there IS a relationship going? Sometimes I become afraid to date because guys are too pushing, sometimes they become angry with me. Anyone? Women, do you really kiss someone just because you like him? For me, kissing is serious and can't I really get to know the person first? p.s. The men I date is 45-60. I think you're the exception here. Nothing wrong with that but you do have to understand that you're the exception. I think most women want to be kissed somewhere between dates 1-3. In fact, you can search for a topic here on just that.
LilaMarie Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I HATE making out with men on first, second, third dates. They are basically a stranger at that point and I don't know them enough to actually like them. I go through the motions (making out with them) but my thoughts are 'when will this be over?' Then again I'm not dating guys I'm super attracted to so that might be it
Samhain Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I HATE making out with men on first, second, third dates. They are basically a stranger at that point and I don't know them enough to actually like them. I go through the motions (making out with them) but my thoughts are 'when will this be over?' Then again I'm not dating guys I'm super attracted to so that might be it Dammit and I was gonna look you up when I was 45-60. 2
aprilisi Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I feel your pain. Some men are so impatient. You're texting, have to go to take a shower...or eat maybe. You come back to half a dozen texts. I once left my phone at someone's house overnight. Got it back the next day. This guy I had been on one date with had texted me over and over. Starting with good morning beautiful to tons of colorful language letting me know what an ungrateful bitch I was. I've had men on a first date talk marriage. I'm ok with a little kiss if we both feel it. But c'mon 1
Popsicle Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Sounds like you're online dating. This is how men are online. And OLD causes you to go out on "dates" with people you're not all that attracted to. It's crap.
Samhain Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Sounds like you're online dating. This is how men are online. And OLD causes you to go out on "dates" with people you're not all that attracted to. It's crap. As humans people will do and say what they need to in order to get whatever it is they seek, whether it be sex, companionship or love. OLD is a dangerous game when people are all looking for different things and ending up in the jumbled path of one another. 3
LilaMarie Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Sounds like you're online dating. This is how men are online. And OLD causes you to go out on "dates" with people you're not all that attracted to. It's crap. Hmm never thought about that. I guess bc I was never initially attracted to my past boyfriends ...I think chemistry can develop over time. But I know everyone is different. and some people need the instant chemistry.
RedRobin Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I don't like being kissed by men I hardly know. If I know them for some time before going on the date, then maybe. Likely not even then. I need to feel that I'd want a relationship with them, and I won't know that on the first date or even first few dates.
truthtripper Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Most people seem to be going about this dating thing in high speed. I am frustrated. Men wants to kiss on first date, take me on vacation, buy a beach house together, within one week. This is from 3 different men I met. Is it so odd that I don't want to kiss someone unless I know him well enough to decide to be his girlfriend? I responded with "no", "no thanks" "no comment" and they got frustrated. Is it such a difficult concept that I don't kiss and don't get physical until there IS a relationship going? Sometimes I become afraid to date because guys are too pushing, sometimes they become angry with me. Anyone? Women, do you really kiss someone just because you like him? For me, kissing is serious and can't I really get to know the person first? p.s. The men I date is 45-60. Same here. I can't kiss a man I've only met a few times, even if I really like him. Down the track he could turn out to be an a-hole. I don't want to kiss an a-hole. Men who talk about vacations and buying a house together in the first week are desperate. I don't know about anyone else but I find this really repulsive and infantile. Getting a blow-up doll would serve the same purpose. 1
Buddhist Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Women, do you really kiss someone just because you like him? For me, kissing is serious and can't I really get to know the person first? p.s. The men I date is 45-60. Yes I do. It's only kissing, I'm not going to get pregnant from it. How else will I know if I want them to be my boyfriend? If he's a bad kisser I can't be in a relationship with him. I can't even have sex with him to be honest. I get frustrated if he doesn't try and kiss really early. 2
Glitters Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 As long as these words get them laid, who cares ? This is what these type of guys live by. The 45-60 age men either want to commit or never want to. You take your pick and keep your eyes open for all the signs.This age men are masters of the game.
Redfisher Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I always asked jokingly in a text before the date... "Do you kiss on the first date?" Seems to make them laugh and I was only turned down once in the last 12 ladies.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Most people seem to be going about this dating thing in high speed. I am frustrated. Men wants to kiss on first date, take me on vacation, buy a beach house together, within one week. This is from 3 different men I met. Is it so odd that I don't want to kiss someone unless I know him well enough to decide to be his girlfriend? I responded with "no", "no thanks" "no comment" and they got frustrated. Is it such a difficult concept that I don't kiss and don't get physical until there IS a relationship going? Sometimes I become afraid to date because guys are too pushing, sometimes they become angry with me. Anyone? Women, do you really kiss someone just because you like him? For me, kissing is serious and can't I really get to know the person first? p.s. The men I date is 45-60. What's your age OP?
LoveRefreshed Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Most people seem to be going about this dating thing in high speed. I am frustrated. Men wants to kiss on first date, take me on vacation, buy a beach house together, within one week. This is from 3 different men I met. Is it so odd that I don't want to kiss someone unless I know him well enough to decide to be his girlfriend? I responded with "no", "no thanks" "no comment" and they got frustrated. Is it such a difficult concept that I don't kiss and don't get physical until there IS a relationship going? Sometimes I become afraid to date because guys are too pushing, sometimes they become angry with me. Anyone? Women, do you really kiss someone just because you like him? For me, kissing is serious and can't I really get to know the person first? p.s. The men I date is 45-60. You're view point is sincerely one sided Most guys have these paces set up to avoid the dreaded 'friendzone' We're told to be aggressive and take shots at going for the kiss. I would run from any woman who was uncomfortable with a kiss at date 3, because I'm not waiting around 3 months to become physically intimate. I need it sooner, I need it for emotions, and I need it to make sure we are compatible. I don't want to waste that much time. 1
Author sweet honeydew Posted December 11, 2015 Author Posted December 11, 2015 I am old, let's just say I am 45-60 too. I think that might be part of the problem because I am old fashioned but I look so young that people mistaken me as my son's sister. I am petite with 5 3", 107lbs and it's scary when men are pressuring me. (I am thinking taking marital art class now ) I know men have different needs but I really don't want to kiss dozens of frogs before I find my prince.
Redhead14 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Most people seem to be going about this dating thing in high speed. I am frustrated. Men wants to kiss on first date, take me on vacation, buy a beach house together, within one week. This is from 3 different men I met. Is it so odd that I don't want to kiss someone unless I know him well enough to decide to be his girlfriend? I responded with "no", "no thanks" "no comment" and they got frustrated. Is it such a difficult concept that I don't kiss and don't get physical until there IS a relationship going? Sometimes I become afraid to date because guys are too pushing, sometimes they become angry with me. Anyone? Women, do you really kiss someone just because you like him? For me, kissing is serious and can't I really get to know the person first? p.s. The men I date is 45-60. Well, I can understand no kiss after a first date, but if you do like a guy at least, a kiss (not a make out session) is really a sign to him that you like him and want to see him again. A nice peck on the lips isn't a big deal, is it. It doesn't say let's go to bed, just "hey, I like you". But, really, if you like a guy enough you would want a least a peck on the lips. do you really kiss someone just because you like him? -- I wouldn't kiss someone I didn't like . . .
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I'm not sure why you're being so vague about your age considering we have no idea who you are. Regardless, there is no harm in being old fashioned and having values but saying that kissing is "serious" and something you only do when you're exclusive does seem a bit stiff. You don't want to kiss on the first date, no problem but if you've accepted a second and third date with a guy you enjoy, I'm not sure why you wouldn't allow for a respectable peck. Kissing does NOT equal sex after all.
RedRobin Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I can't say that kissing a guy ever translated at all to how they were in bed or what kind of lovers they were. Having sex early or relatively early says nothing about how compatible we'd be either. yea, maybe when I was 20... but not since 30+. Most guys who have been in relationships know how to kiss and adapt. So do I. My reason for not wanting a kiss early from a stranger is because it quickly escalates and they are expecting sex ASAP too. Jeez. Really? I'm then obliged to make a decision about a guy I hardly know, and... you know what? My default when put in that position is always a no... No matter how great he seemed to be before then... It's sad when I liked the guy before then too... To me, it's a sign of bad character for a guy for push for sex and kissing a total stranger. Also shows insecurity. All these guys "but how do I know if she liiiiiiiikes me?" Do you know how whiny you guys sound? How about getting to know her? Or is that just too much trouble?
SwordofFlame Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I can't say that kissing a guy ever translated at all to how they were in bed or what kind of lovers they were. Having sex early or relatively early says nothing about how compatible we'd be either. yea, maybe when I was 20... but not since 30+. Most guys who have been in relationships know how to kiss and adapt. So do I. My reason for not wanting a kiss early from a stranger is because it quickly escalates and they are expecting sex ASAP too. Jeez. Really? I'm then obliged to make a decision about a guy I hardly know, and... you know what? My default when put in that position is always a no... No matter how great he seemed to be before then... It's sad when I liked the guy before then too... To me, it's a sign of bad character for a guy for push for sex and kissing a total stranger. Also shows insecurity. All these guys "but how do I know if she liiiiiiiikes me?" Do you know how whiny you guys sound? How about getting to know her? Or is that just too much trouble? If your approach works for most women, that's what men who actually want relationships would do. However, I think most of the women on here would tell you that's not exactly what they're looking with regards to kissing. 1
No Limit Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Yeah, there are some men who appear to want to make family plans on the first date (or even prior!). I tend to keep away from those (could be some tactic just in case I was one of the clingy types?). But I'm not really critical about kissing, although it would only be a good-night-kiss on date #1, NOT making out!
Author sweet honeydew Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 I can't say that kissing a guy ever translated at all to how they were in bed or what kind of lovers they were. Having sex early or relatively early says nothing about how compatible we'd be either. I can't agree more. I think Sex is only a (important) part of a relationship, and it actually distract us from getting to know a person in early relationship. All these guys "but how do I know if she liiiiiiiikes me?" How about a straight forward sentence: "I like you and I want to know you better."? I disagree that kissing on the lip is no big deal for the same reason RedRobin stated. It is taking the relationship to a new level. I just wish men realize that, by going out with you more than one time, it confirms that she likes you. On a side note, if kissing is no big deal, how do you use it to know she likes you? I guess I am troubled because it is not just men who are going fast. Many women are too. Let's not beat up the men, it takes 2 to tangle.
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