Easygoin Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Hi, i will try and word this best that i can. I have been with a girl for over 7 years now, im in my early 40s and she is in her mid 30s, we spend a few days a week together, then alot of the times she doesnt want to see me sometimes for another 2 weeks, which is really starting to annoy and hurt me, she hardly communicates with me now a days, 3 or 4 years ago i was bad with canabis which i hid from her, she broke up with me because of the lies i kept from her, and told me if i didnt change she wouldnt be apart of my life, ive now been clean ever since, not once been tempted, a few months ago now i caught a guy trying it on with her, flirting via email (I logged into her account and found the emails) I know that i shouldnt of, but i just had a gut feeling that something was going on, she promised me that the guy wasnt like that, but for me to find out he was, really made me have trust issues, she never really flirted back with him, instead she found it funny that he was doing it, the guy was a close friend of hers 10 years ago, the only reason he got in touch with my gf was because his gf broke up with him, since i found this out alot of times i just think should i just walk away from this relationship, a few months ago, she told me on the phone that her feelings arent the same for me anymore, i asked how long have you felt this way, and she replied for a few years, then i asked why didnt you tell me sooner, then she says because i thought you knew which i didnt know, i do everything she asks me to do but i just feel its so hard now knowing im with someone who doesnt feel the same about me as i feel about her, i broke it off with her a the other month, but she tells me that she doesnt want to break up with me and loves me, but how can she love me when her feelings have changed ? I dont know what to do, i want to spend more time with her than she wants to spend with me, after a few days on my own i miss you and wished i was with her, but she doesnt miss me anywhere near as much, she also told me that.
BetrayedH Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Reminds me of an old expression, "The person that wants the relationship the most, loses." My gut says you're going to have to tell her that this isn't working for you (and mean it) before she takes you seriously. If she thinks you're always going to be there for her, even if she's dismissive, she's not going to respect you. And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that a woman cannot love a man she doesn't respect. I think it's time to man up. 2
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