mh124 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 (edited) My long distance girlfriend of 10 months broke up with me about 4 days ago. Long story short I acted like an idiot and failed to give her space when she asked for it. What do I do? Edited December 11, 2015 by mh124
Amelie1980 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 It's common to blame yourself but to be honest, you did nothing. She had already gone distant before you did this. She had already checked out. It was only a 10 month relationship, it was long distance, by the sound of it she met someone else...going distant is usually indicative of this Be kind to yourself and accept it is over.
Amelie1980 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Why did you edit your original post taking all the detail out about her needing space and going distant...people cant advise without the facts
Author mh124 Posted December 11, 2015 Author Posted December 11, 2015 I was trying to delete it so I could re write it but I can't find the delete option.
Amelie1980 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I was trying to delete it so I could re write it but I can't find the delete option. You cant delete threads I dont think. Just write what you want to say in your next post.
StBreton Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 (edited) My long distance girlfriend of 10 months broke up with me about 4 days ago. Long story short I acted like an idiot and failed to give her space when she asked for it. What do I do? Hi mh I'm really sorry to hear of your breakup...not sure where you're at in the world but might be especially difficult right before the holidays. Hugs Well I feel like I'm stating the obvious here but how much more space could this girl need ... you're already in a LDR. I don't think you acted like anything other than a caring concerned attached human being with someone for whom you care deeply. Her pulling away probably caused you anxiety and concern ... that's normal. Instead of retreating, you were trying to figure out what's going on/forcing the issue. Sure you could have just dropped off the face of the earth, but that's delaying the inevitable as far as I'm concerned...needing space is nice speak for the slow fade. All conjecture on my part but just thinking you really did nothing wrong. If this girl wanted more space than what a LDR already provides, I'm thinking that she's found someone else and wants to keep you on the back burner while she explores a new relationship. What can you do now? I'd go completely NC...spend time with family and friends and try not to isolate. You'll go through a grieving process so be good and kind to yourself. Have you read the NC guide? Edited December 11, 2015 by StBreton 2
Samhain Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Agree with stbreton, if she already wanted "space" she was becoming disconnected and was looking for an excuse no doubt. You might think you did something wrong but she was already less invested in you so don't kick yourself. An awful time for her to do this, but it's a family holiday so surround yourself with people who truly do care, and try not to blame yourself, it really wasn't your fault. Don't contact her at all, even to say Merry Christmas, nothing.
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