skyy_1988 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 (edited) SO i recently found out that my wife cheated on me. According to her I cheated on her first because I said I wanted to be separated but sent mixed signals, showing otherwise. I went through her phone recently and saw that she was talking to a guy being flirtatious and confiding intimate details of my life. Called me names and said that I was a bad dad. After finding out she's now saying that she's mortified and that she wants to be with me and only me and the guy was only outlet because I wasn't giving her what she needed emotionally. Granted I wasn't emotionally supportive for a brief while due to the lack of respect I was getting before hand. But the last couple of months I have been all in. trying to prove myself. And she's been sharing deep feelings with this guy the whole time. She's had sex with him Twice, claims that it was terrible both times but only did it twice to match the number of times I had sex with a particular female during our hiatus. She claims that she only did it the second time becuase of that and because she wasn't sure about us,even though she didn't show this. After checking her records she contacted him repeatedly since the second time all the way up to the 28th of november. I found on the 30th and she hasn't been in contact with him sense. I told her that I want to work this out but given that she spoke ill of me AND had an affair it makes it very difficult to trust her again. She's been crying everyday since but IDK if I should really stay or leave. Also the guy is engaged. I really want to send his fiance a message to stop her from marrying a scum bag like him but IDK if that's my place, or if that would only cause further issues on my end. Edited December 10, 2015 by skyy_1988
Gloria25 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 I think better you need to try marital counseling...you guys have a child and seems like this marriage had issues before you two started looking outside of it... Hopefully a good marital counselor can referee here and put you both back on track. Oh, BTW, in choosing one, I he she make the counseling sessions a "gripe" and "point fingers" event instead of trying to get you guys to remember the good times, don't continue with that counselor. About the guy your wife was cheating with? You sound like you wanna tell his fiancé more out of vengeance/scorn than to let her know that he's perping a fraud. Lemme tell you something, women are very intuitive, they know if their guy is eyeing other women...she probably wants to put on blinders for all you know and plow into marriage with this creep in hopes she can "control/tame" him with marriage and kids....let them be and focus on your marriage and kid.
central Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 I wouldn't stay with a cheater, and I would inform the other man's fiancée of his affair. It is your place as you are the wronged party. Not that you didn't do some stupid stuff, but you didn't cheat. 1
Author skyy_1988 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 She also brought to my attention that he's also a murderer in addition to being engaged. If I were to tell his wife I don't know what the outcome may be...
Gloria25 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 She also brought to my attention that he's also a murderer in addition to being engaged. If I were to tell his wife I don't know what the outcome may be... Seriously? Well, than that should be public record...pleeze don't go calling people murders if you don't have proof. If you seriously believe this fiancé is in harms way then find proof and maybe mail it to her for only her to sign for it. You do not want to damage someone's life/reputation all on something that has not been proven/substanciated...and still then, she may defend him and still won't leave him and you - the messenger - will become the one to get "shot" (hopefully not literally shot). I mean look at the women who try to get with murders on trial/in jail....sick people out there.
Author skyy_1988 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 I think better you need to try marital counseling...you guys have a child and seems like this marriage had issues before you two started looking outside of it... Hopefully a good marital counselor can referee here and put you both back on track. Oh, BTW, in choosing one, I he she make the counseling sessions a "gripe" and "point fingers" event instead of trying to get you guys to remember the good times, don't continue with that counselor. About the guy your wife was cheating with? You sound like you wanna tell his fiancé more out of vengeance/scorn than to let her know that he's perping a fraud. Lemme tell you something, women are very intuitive, they know if their guy is eyeing other women...she probably wants to put on blinders for all you know and plow into marriage with this creep in hopes she can "control/tame" him with marriage and kids....let them be and focus on your marriage and kid. That is my main reason for wanting to tell her. I also don't want her to marry a fraud. If he doesn't respect his relationship and my marriage why would he decide to respect her and their future marriage?
mystikmind2005 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 that guy is what i call a 'wife whisperer' , so you should do a bit of 'whispering' to his woman and tell her about the affair.
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