Ddunfee Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 I am in my 40's divorced for almost 4 years, have been seeing a guy for almost 3 years and he now just wants to date. What does that even mean? Does that mean he doesn't want to be exclusive anymore? I'm confused. I am not comfortable dating multiple men and having relations with more than 1 person. Does that make me weird? I dated multiple men in my 20's but was only sexual with 1 person. I don't know that I could be sexually active at my age with more than 1 partner. Is that how it is when you date in your 40's? Do I end whatever this thing is that I have with my now partner? 1
Myragal Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 I am in my 40's divorced for almost 4 years, have been seeing a guy for almost 3 years and he now just wants to date. What does that even mean? Does that mean he doesn't want to be exclusive anymore? I'm confused. I am not comfortable dating multiple men and having relations with more than 1 person. Does that make me weird? I dated multiple men in my 20's but was only sexual with 1 person. I don't know that I could be sexually active at my age with more than 1 partner. Is that how it is when you date in your 40's? Do I end whatever this thing is that I have with my now partner? Are you from another culture? Do what you like. If you are 40 then why are you asking others about what your preference is in dating? How would someone else decide to end it or not? If you don't mind th current situation then continue it. If you don't feel right about it, then end it. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 What not ask him what he means by that. You've been "seeing" this guy for 3 years and he just now makes some kind of announcement that he wants to date? Yeah, if I had to read between the lines he's letting you know he wants to date other people. As for you preferring to date/be sexual with one partner at a time, great! Kudos to you and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's kind of refreshing actually 1
xcupid Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Sounds like he doesn't want to go any further in the level of commitment with you. There's less commitment with dating, altho I'd ask him what he means by "dating" since it could mean dating others as well. Be careful you're not being put into the FWB zone.
Author Ddunfee Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 Are you from another culture? Do what you like. If you are 40 then why are you asking others about what your preference is in dating? How would someone else decide to end it or not? If you don't mind th current situation then continue it. If you don't feel right about it, then end it. I' m confused! Isn't this site for advise, suggestions and support?! Why would anybody want to put someone down with mudslinging and judgement? Why are you even on here? Makes no sense. Clearly I explained that I am in my 40's and really don't know what to expect from this whole new dating world. I suggest that if you don't want to help or support you keep your comments to yourself.
Author Ddunfee Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 Sounds like he doesn't want to go any further in the level of commitment with you. There's less commitment with dating, altho I'd ask him what he means by "dating" since it could mean dating others as well. Be careful you're not being put into the FWB zone. Yeah, I think he is putting me into the FWB category. I just don't know if I am okay with this. Not after 3 years of exclusivity. But I just don't know what to do. We both have children, and have spent the last three years together. Ugh! Dating is tough at my age.
Mrin Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 I' m confused! Isn't this site for advise, suggestions and support?! Why would anybody want to put someone down with mudslinging and judgement? Why are you even on here? Makes no sense. Clearly I explained that I am in my 40's and really don't know what to expect from this whole new dating world. I suggest that if you don't want to help or support you keep your comments to yourself. Not to butt in here but the person had a point. Just ask him what he means by "dating". Go ahead and define it with him. If it works for you - do it. If it doesn't - break up. From my perspective "dating" can mean everything for casual sex to life partners. I often say I am dating my GF even though we've been together for 1.5 years, are founding a company together and buying property in Costa Rica together. For what it's worth - she hates it when I say we are dating.
Mrin Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Yeah, I think he is putting me into the FWB category. I just don't know if I am okay with this. Not after 3 years of exclusivity. But I just don't know what to do. We both have children, and have spent the last three years together. Ugh! Dating is tough at my age. 44 here. It is tough and it is really easy. At the same time. We're old enough and seasoned enough to be able to have upfront conversations. We also know what we want and more importantly what we don't want. It is perfectly acceptable at our age to say, "no that doesn't work for me". It is only harder because I think we make it harder or are more pragmatic. We no longer are full of the "because love" emotions and nonsense that overrode a lot of things back in our youth.
Myragal Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I' m confused! Isn't this site for advise, suggestions and support?! Why would anybody want to put someone down with mudslinging and judgement? Why are you even on here? Makes no sense. Clearly I explained that I am in my 40's and really don't know what to expect from this whole new dating world. I suggest that if you don't want to help or support you keep your comments to yourself. It's not mudslinging. Do what you want. How can anyone else determine your values or what is right for you? You don't have a crisis. You are not being abused. You seem articulate...all together. The important thing is that YOU decide what is best for YOU. There is no right or wrong or best answer outside of your own. It is irrelevent what others do or 'most' do or whatever. YOU matter here.
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