deckard11 Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 This is one of the main reasons I can't find a woman to date. I tried dating sites a long time ago and every woman that peaked my interest seemed to have a minimum of 2 kids. And those who didn't have kids would indicate that they did want them in the future. Several years back I briefly dated a woman with 3 kids. It's true when they say if you date a woman with kids you date the kids as well. What bothered me was when we would plan a date night weeks in advance then come date night she would call me a few hours before I was to pick her up and say her youngest kid decided she wanted to spend time with her. I know her kids come first, but I thought it was pretty ****ty of her to do this to me on a well in advance planned date night. Anyways, from that point on I refuse to date a woman with kids. I don't want kids if my own and to be brutally honest I don't even like kids. I guess gone are the days of the lonely librarian living alone with cats. Anyone else here refuse to date those with kids? Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 You're correct. When you date someone with kids, you always take a back seat to the children. Always. On top of this you eventually become a 'role-model' of sorts of the figure you're supposed to represent but without any authority although it is coupled with all the responsibility. That's fine and all for some people, but I personally want to grow a relationship and create a family from that relationship, not so much have one already there. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LilaMarie Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 ::Raises hand:: ME! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Glitters Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 As get older, you are going to find people with kids, younger or grown up. If its a dealbreaker for you, then how does it matter what others believe in? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 I would never date someone who has kids still at home.....I don't have kids myself, for a reason. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 (edited) Same. Kids don't fit my lifestyle unless they are home schooled or like weekend visitation only. Unless it's this kid!!! http://yooying.com/lolatheillustrator She was at the coolest Art Basel party. Dream offspring. Kid is cooler than i am. lol Edited December 10, 2015 by loveweary11 Link to post Share on other sites
oberkeat Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Kids are a dealbreaker. I met a girl at my old job who was a great match for me and was clearly very into me. Problem is, she was a single mother, so there was no chance I'd date her. Not making a moral judgement, but that's just not for me. I want someone who is like myself: single, never married, no kids, employed, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
AspenBaldwin Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Would you date a woman with more than 3 dogs? Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 I pretty much would date someone with kids if I was only going to be the "hamburgers on the weekend girl"...in other words, I only see him when his ex and/or someone else has the kids.... Seen too many stories of exes getting upset/jealous and/or not wanting someone else involved with their kids. Then, you gotta button your lip on how they handle their kids and lots of times they spoil their kids out of guilt of the divorce/break up of the family. And, kids don't need to meet everyone you are dating unless there's a ring and a date to marry. Kids bond and if you two break up, the poor kids suffer another loss of a potential parent to replace/substitute for the ex. But, I have no problem in the person who I am dating putting their kids first...I'd be turned off if they didn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 If you don't like kids and don't want kids, it is VERY important that you keep this as a dealbreaker. It wouldn't be fair to the kids to fall in love with their mom, and then they are stuck with a father-figure who doesn't care about them. There are plenty of women who don't have kids - though finding women who don't WANT kids will be more challenging. But they are out there. If you do online dating, I would note this in your profile. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Would you date a woman with more than 3 dogs? Pets =/= Children, so yes I would. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deckard11 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 Would you date a woman with more than 3 dogs? Nope. Not a dog person either. They require the same attention as a kid. I do like cats though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 I don't want kids, I do not enjoy kids, them having kids is a 100% deal breaker. Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 i feel like i still fall into the window of ... no second-hand families ..just yet. I still hold dearly to my untainted romance love dream Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Yeah also a dealbreaker for me. At this point in my life I don't want to be dealing with kids at all, and she would want to introduce the kid to me some time I imagine. When things become more serious the kid/s will become part of your relationship, it's a package deal. I'm nowhere near ready for that, so no thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Yes, it's a deal breaker for me. I do not have kids. Therefor, I will not date someone with kids. And I wouldn't date someone with 3+ dogs. Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 At my age, the access to childless women out there, and my desire to start my own family, I would have to pass on any women with children right now. But as I get older, that view will change as there is some really awesome women out there that has children that I wouldn't turn down, especially as the childless women count will keep dropping from there. As long as the children is not acting like criminals, that is. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 I was a woman who *never* wanted kids and spent years looking for men who were the same as me. I occasionally found them but those relationships didn't have staying power. Back on OLD in my forties, I was - again - looking for guys without kids. I set my hopes higher and started to consider guys with kids, figuring the offspring might be off at college at this point. Was I ever surprised when - four years ago - I met a guy who had three pre-teens. His profile was emphatic that he wasn't looking for a Stepmom, that he had a nanny who dealt with his kids during the 50% he had them, and was looking for someone during that 50% adult time. I initially turned him down but as I was approaching my 50s, I had best give up my notions of finding a childless mate. We started dating and, much to my shock, I actually liked his kids and they liked me. We dated for a year, were engaged for a year, and just celebrated our second wedding anniversary. His 16-year old daughter and I are best friends. Even my friends are shocked, considering my life-long stance against kids. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Deal-breaker for me. I do not want kids of my own and I don't want to date anyone who has kids. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Before I got married and had kids of my own, I wouldn't date anyone who'd been married before or had kids (wanted my own original family). I now have 2 school aged kids and single again. Now...I won't date anyone who doesn't have kids. We'd just have different lifestyles and values. OP...since you don't want kids yourself, it's natural to seek out someone without kids. At your age of 41 though, the likelihood of finding a childless woman is very low. Also, I would think that a lot of women who are early 40s would have grown children by now so maybe it's a mute point? One last point...this is the time in YOUR life of children taking care of their parents ... how would you feel if your date had to attend to her parents? At your age, if I were you, I'd be a bit more open minded. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 OP...since you don't want kids yourself, it's natural to seek out someone without kids. At your age of 41 though, the likelihood of finding a childless woman is very low. Also, I would think that a lot of women who are early 40s would have grown children by now so maybe it's a mute point? He will just have to date women a lot younger than him. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 He will just have to date women a lot younger than him. See his other thread, he's not dating at all. OP, if the kid thing is a hard line for you, stick with it. Just understand that you'll be struggling with the dating game more than you would otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 He will just have to date women a lot younger than him. Possibly. OP admittedly said in another thread he is 5.5', 250 lbs, not attractive, and never been in a relationship before. I don't see the girls lining up out the door so just pointed out that maybe being a bit more open minded will allow him to find someone with whom to be in a relationship. How are grown kids going to cramp a person's lifestyle? (unless parent is an enabler) 5 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 See his other thread, he's not dating at all. OP, if the kid thing is a hard line for you, stick with it. Just understand that you'll be struggling with the dating game more than you would otherwise. Exactly GT:cool: Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 See his other thread, he's not dating at all. OP, if the kid thing is a hard line for you, stick with it. Just understand that you'll be struggling with the dating game more than you would otherwise. Possibly. OP admittedly said in another thread he is 5.5', 250 lbs, not attractive, and never been in a relationship before. I don't see the girls lining up out the door so just pointed out that maybe being a bit more open minded will allow him to find someone with whom to be in a relationship. How are grown kids going to cramp a person's lifestyle? (unless parent is an enabler) I didn't see it before. Now that I've read it, he can still not date women with kids. But, he needs to improve his appearance if he finds himself unattractive. Link to post Share on other sites
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