geronimo Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 So its been just over a year since my breakup and I wanted to write something that I hope helps some of you out there. A bit of a background, ex and I dated for about 5 years, were eachothers first loves, and then last year around nov, she made up an excuse to leave me. Later found out she got with another guy, was a huge blow and I'm not gonna lie it was a very very tough year. BUT it gets better... I f*cked up and got into contact with her again about 6 months after our breakup (she initiated it), as i found out from this forum it was a "breadcrumb" or whatever just to see if i was still on her hook and to make sure she still has me as a backup plan since her new relationship wasn't going that steady. Obviously like an idiot i thought that was great news and gave her the affirmation she needed, and i was back to square one. Well I have been in solid NC for a total of 5 months now and I am much MUCH better. I thought I would be sad since it is christmas time and this was a big deal to both of us. Also I saw a few snapchats and a picture of her kissiing this new kid on insta (I don't have her on social media, was done through a friend, I don't recommend anyone to do this btw) but yea again it didn't phase me I thought i would be heartbroken and devastated after seeing this but I was ok. I guess I have gone through all the stages lol and have finally accepted it, have not started dating yet but I think now I am ready. Hopefully I don't relapse now but if I do i will update. Just wanted to share my side and give people hope that it does really get better, just hang in there, listen to the advice given on here, and let go of your past. 2
globo20 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 honestly it helps seeing things like this. my ex gf broke up with me 2 months ago. and has tried talking to 2 other guys. im just confused and i really miss her alot. we where each others first love and everything. dated for 1.5 years. its nice to see that things get better! what is the breadcrumb theory?
Author geronimo Posted December 11, 2015 Author Posted December 11, 2015 Glad it helped and trust me it gets better, you just have to cut all contact and truly have to accept that its over for good. I know its hard to do that, it took me quite a while to accept it myself. Also don't try to bury your emotions, just let them come as they will, talk about it as much as you can it really helps and if you have no one to talk to this forum is perfect for that. The breadcrumb theory is pretty much your ex is going to throw you "breadcrumbs" in the form of contacting you by asking how you're doing, or "happy birthday" or whatever it may be, and will try to use that as an excuse to try to get to know your situation and to see if you are still hooked on them or not. My ex used something personal to her that she knew I was invested in when i was in the relationship and got me talking that way, we even met up and I gave in and told her that I still loved her and wanted to be with her, but that was a mistake, cuz after she got what she wanted it was back to being cold and weird. I just cut my loses at that point and cut off all contact by then. Fast forward to now, if she were to ever contact me again I would probably be cautious about it but I"m at a point where I don't care anymore so I honestly would be fine with small banter if I'm up for it.
Recommended Posts