DesertDweller Posted May 30, 2005 Posted May 30, 2005 Why do married men seem so generous? "Mine" is always leaving gifts on my porch for me and/or my daughters, or bringing me lunch...Is this some kind of bait to continue the relationship?
kkat Posted May 30, 2005 Posted May 30, 2005 DesertDweller, I suppose we were seeing the same MM! Ha. Mine brings gifts, including food, for me, and for my dog, who is like my child. He sometimes buys me little luxuries, gift certificates to the day spa I like, gift cards to boutiques I like, little gifts. But his favorite gifts are things that don't seem too personal - especially supplies and gifts for my dog - and also, I suspect, things he can charge to his AMEX without concern. My ex-MM is a gift giver from way back. He gave me gifts while he pursued me in our first relationship in 1992, and while we lived together he continued. He gave me gifts after we broke up back then, until I ceased any contact with him (for seven years...). Then he started again when he pursued me in 2003 for relationship version 2, and continues to do so. He is a gift giver in other relationships as well - I think he gives gifts to people as a way to make himself feel better for giving people less than they deserve in the areas of commitment, honestly, etc. Additionally, when he goes into one of his rages, he follows up with gifts thereafter. I stopped accepting any gifts from him after his fits -- I refused to even accept some dinner he dropped off one night - I threw it away in front of him - calmly - after I asked him to take it back - and since then he doesn't generally try to give gifts to me after he has been lost his temper on the telephone. I think he gives me gifts to appease his guilt and because it makes him feel like a strong man, a provider. He is a generous person in many ways, by the way, and I understand that not all of his motives are negative ones. There was a thread about this once before and many women indicated their MM didn't give them gifts or pay for things. I was surprised to read that.
Author DesertDweller Posted May 30, 2005 Author Posted May 30, 2005 Married men who didn't give gifts or pay for things? Wow, I guess we're the "lucky" ones--ha-ha!
westernxer Posted May 30, 2005 Posted May 30, 2005 Originally posted by DesertDweller Why do married men seem so generous? "Mine" is always leaving gifts on my porch for me and/or my daughters, or bringing me lunch...Is this some kind of bait to continue the relationship? Yes.
wyzeup Posted May 30, 2005 Posted May 30, 2005 Are they this generous and giving and thoughtful with their WIVES? Likely not. So why are some like this with you Other Women? Well it's simple - they're wanting to ensure their lasting supply of sex and fun and thrills - to keep the nookie supply up.
phillygirl63 Posted May 31, 2005 Posted May 31, 2005 Wyzeup, I think plenty of MM who cheat regularly are generous with their wives as well. They tend to give them the "guilt gifts". You know, a little velvet box with earrings waiting for the wife at the breakfast table, or a dinner out at an expensive restaurant when he finally comes home early one night, or the w/e trip without the kids. These type of men want to please everybody so they can continue having the nice little family at home and the ego-boosting mistress on the side. They lie and cheat and often times deeply wound their families, but one thing can be said, they give great gifts to everyone they stomp all over.
westernxer Posted May 31, 2005 Posted May 31, 2005 Originally posted by phillygirl63 These type of men want to please everybody so they can continue having the nice little family at home and the ego-boosting mistress on the side. They lie and cheat and often times deeply wound their families, but one thing can be said, they give great gifts to everyone they stomp all over. You know what they say, a mistress is cheaper than a divorce.
MiChick43 Posted May 31, 2005 Posted May 31, 2005 I think he gives gifts to people as a way to make himself feel better for giving people less than they deserve in the areas of commitment, honestly, etc. I totally agree. I never accepted a gift from the mm I saw, many years ago. He tried to give me things. My response was......If you want to pay me off for services rendered, pay my house payment or car payment. Accepting a gift, other then a movie or dinner would have made me feel.....purchased. But that was just me.
StillHurtin Posted May 31, 2005 Posted May 31, 2005 My H was a tight wad when it came to buying things for the OW. The only thing he bought her was dinner once in awhile. The OW bought him a nice watch from a jewlery store and two nice shirts from an expensive clothing store. He gave the watch back to her once he got back w/ me and I took the shirts and donated them.
SexKitten Posted May 31, 2005 Posted May 31, 2005 it makes sense to keep his dirty little secret in pretty things to keep her quiet...and keep her spreading.
kkat Posted May 31, 2005 Posted May 31, 2005 Not all relationships with MM are based on the MM having the agenda to "keep her spreading". Really.
Naive Posted May 31, 2005 Posted May 31, 2005 Originally posted by DesertDweller Why do married men seem so generous? "Mine" is always leaving gifts on my porch for me and/or my daughters, or bringing me lunch...Is this some kind of bait to continue the relationship? They want to keep their OW happy but they are the ones that get the best gift, they get a cake and they get to eat it too!!!
SexKitten Posted May 31, 2005 Posted May 31, 2005 Originally posted by kkat Not all relationships with MM are based on the MM having the agenda to "keep her spreading". Really. mmmm.
ms blitz Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Absolutely...a steady supply of love in the afternoon or whenever he can sneak away....
Recommended Posts