Rko28 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Hi Everyone. A quick summary I was with a girl this time last year for about 6 months, she had a busy december work wise and I hardly saw her, she went away for new year with "friends" I later found out she went to meet a man she met on holiday, she said they were just friends. I later found out they met more than just new year but she never told me. It was a horrible start to the year and I got really sick from it really, stopped eating, lost weight etc. We carried on together and she swore they were "just friends" but then she just faded, stopped replying to me, unfriended me off facebook and even blocked me. I wrote a long email saying how she made me feel and asking what was going on, she text saying she would reply to the email and say whats happened. The email never came. Before all this we talked pretty much every day for hours on the phone and tried to see each other as often as we could. She was the best girl i had ever met and one that i felt truely liked me as much as i liked her. When we became official, I asked her, the first thing she said was she didnt want it on facebook as she was private person and didnt want people asking if we ever broke up, fair enough I thought but at the same time the gut feeling wasnt good. So anyway fast forward 12 months or so, not hearing from her and realising what a horrible thing she did to me at new year and just fading away I moved on quickly and am now at a great place, Ive met someone new and had a first date with them this week, my health is back and im very happy. So whats wrong you ask? I stumbled across her facebook, she must have unblocked me as it was in the "people you may know" section, curiosity got the better of me so i checked.... This last week she has got ina new relationship, its on her facebook even though she didnt want that on there at all, pictures of them together, with friends and family, i never once met any of her family and only 1 of her friends. Now i didnt feel any jealousy here, I dont want her back at all, in fact looking at her just made me angry and wanting to hurt her like she hurt me, now this isnt me, this isnt how I behave. Im a nice guy and dont like hurting people but this is an emotion ive not had before, I had to stop myself from messaging her telling her what a horrible person she is, I still have to stop myself now. How can I stop this feeling of wanting to hurt her and get revenge?
marky00 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 If you manage to find a good revenge plot, let me know. I plan on doing something myself one day when im ready.
Meli22 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Living well and moving on is the best revenge. 4
Marco Valerio Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 She wasn't that into you, just move on, no revenge. 3
JDam Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 I went through the same thing. I felt extreme hatred toward my ex. It was like... really extreme. It is a horrible feeling that just eats you up inside. However, I never did anything to get revenge. I believe in karma and the fact that he's been rejected by all girls thus far and is living a boring life abroad (that's what he wrote to me) is a proof of that. Just let her be and live your own life, focus on yourself and your new relationship (if it works out). She will get what she deserves. That day will come sooner or later. 2
casey.lives Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 hate is fine.... just swallow it. feelings are fleeting and flaky and meant to be experienced in the human experience... hate is a good way to never look back 1
hippychick3 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 I believe your feelings of anger are a reflection of the anger towards yourself for giving so much of your heart and energy to someone so undeserving. What she did to you speaks volumes about the kind of person she truly is. The best revenge is to live your life to the fullest and be the happiest without her. 1
geronimo Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Its understandable to hate someone who betrays you, especially an ex lover. I also hated my ex like crazy for a while but honestly it gets you no where, and like JDam said, I'm a believer in Karma and I also think my ex will get what she deserves. So leave it up to the higher powers to take revenge on your behalf and move on with your life, you don't need this **** dragging you down, be at peace and let it be. Learn from it, it was an experience, and live a better life than you coulda ever had with her in the pic, thats probably the best revenge.
sowhynot Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan’s apprentice. 1
gaius Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Be mad at yourself instead. She showed you what she had to offer, cheated on you, and you still said yes and accepted it. You really have nobody to blame except yourself. =/
dyna85 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I think it's completely understandable that you want revenge, but it is in your best interest to not seek it out in the form of telling her off, but rather in living well and continuing on your path, by taking care of yourself. What she did to you was really callous...to spend all that time on the phone and in person with you and then to just get with a new guy and fade on you like you meant nothing is really wrong. The best revenge is knowing what goes around comes around. People get what they give in in this world, and surely some day she'll experience the hurt she doled out to you, so have no fear. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be next week, but surely some day will be her day of reckoning. It goes along with the type of person that she is to unblock you just so you would be reminded of her once again. She's selfish and not very nice. I don't think necessarily you can stop the feelings. If you could stop the feelings, there wouldn't be a love shack breakup forum. Just ride 'em out and you will be fine. 1
NoLeafClover Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 A girl I used to screw around with once told me...revenge is best taken on a cold plate.
Captivating Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 Hi, You know, anger is part of the grieving process. It is OK to to feel this way, most of us do BUT don't act on it ! Also, you are mad at her because her being inconsiderate about posting photos. AND you are mad because you looked Blocking her will ease your pain, out of sight , out of mind. You need to focus on your new girlfriend, be nice and caring to her and expect the same. I believe you will find someone who will make you forget about the relationships that didn't work out. Dating is a learning process you figure out what you want and don't want in a relationship. It's hard to date a person who is inconsiderate when you are considerate. So, the BU might have been a blessing for you after all !! Don't worry about her ! You have someone new in your life. It's all good. 1
Gmuck Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 My revenge to my ex gf was losing 40 pounds, never contacting her again ( I was dumpee) and awesome new haircut. Losing the weight was due in part to the break up but I look so much better. I seriously don't even look like the same fat ex bf she had. Also been talking to a girl who hands down is hotter than my ex. Not looking for her but I'm actually looking forward to her seeing me someday with my improved look. FYI, on 6 months post break up so this hasn't been the I changed myself after 3 weeks. All these changes have stuck. Now it's me and my new self and look. Lose weight, new haircut and update your clothes. Do it gradual overtime so it's not look at me with all this change in 2 weeks. I lost weight in 3 months, 4 month all new clothes and 5th month new haircut.
Marc878 Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 She isn't worth one second of your time. The best revenge is to think of her as the mailman.
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