I seem to only attract overweight women

December 10, 2015

Except that a well written profile or really good photos only take one so far.

I'm constantly rewriting my profile, and yet a woman can put "I'll fill this out later", or "I don't like talking about myself, so just ask", and their mailboxes get stuffed.

Granted, I've had a lot of women tell me I'm much better looking in person, so perhaps it's my choice of photos.

Point is, the odds are definitely stacked against guys, and women are so focused on their careers, that majority of available women let their ovaries dry up by the time they're open to dating guys in their early thirties.

Yeah, also wanted to comment on this. Even if a woman gets her inbox "stuffed," that doesn't mean it's stuffed with decent offers. When it comes to the attention of the opposite sex, quality trumps quantity every time. If a woman is attractive enough, it won't matter what she says, there will be plenty of men telling her [] what women want to hear when they're looking for a relationship.

Furthermore, ovaries don't "dry up" by the time a woman's in her early 30s.

Edited December 10, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language

December 10, 2015

The best women... The ones who are sincerely interested in a relationship... Are looking for a partner.

Of course, the definition of what makes a partner is unique to each woman... Of any age, shape, income level etc.

If you are looking for a relationship... And not just someone to shag for awhile... You need to illustrate what kind of partner you would be. Give a little vision of your values and goals.

Keep in mind, though... That there are lots of attractive women there too... Who are mentally messed up by whatever life has thrown their way. OLD... Especially the free ones... Are the refuge of first recourse for people who are struggling with dating or going through a major transition. So keep that in mind.

If you want to stand out among the best women, you have to look like, and be able to follow through, on the 'promise' that you are stable and looking for what you say you are looking for... First. Honesty is super important. Don't fudge on anything. It's not worth it.

Finally, stop acting like or treating overweight women or any of those women as less than human. the overweight women in my tri club are some of the most inspiring people I have ever met... And I have always been a twig. I am humbled by their determination. I used to be a bit of a snob (maybe I still am in some ways)... But that is changing.

December 10, 2015

Most women aren't going to admit straightaway if they are overweight. Some women can carry their weight proportionately. What is acceptable to you?

Depending on what you feel is acceptable for your definition of "overweight", you are essentially discounting a lot of women based on this preconception.

I am not saying it is wrong, but you could be eliminating the most perfect woman for you, that has all the qualities you are looking for as a person, and you are going to forgo her.

Personalities don't change, weight can.

Something to keep in mind.

But something can be done to change a weight problem.

December 10, 2015

But something can be done to change a weight problem.

That's exactly what she said at the bottom of her post.

December 10, 2015

You can just buy the premium app and filter your okcupid messages to only receive hot girls ones.

Or just ignore the overweight. Or give them a chance! They could always change...and be a supermodel! Try to see things in perspective.

Be agresive in the meanwhile, message girls every day. Some will reply good luck!

December 10, 2015

Folks, it appears Robert cleaned up some personal information out of this thread, and I further cleaned up some personal chatting/flirting/solicitation. Our directive is to keep that off of the public forums. The starter is an established member and had, until their recent foray with this thread, PM access, so, in the future, fill up that box with your personal chats and inquiries and save the public spaces for interpersonal relationship discussions which are inclusive of all of our LoveShack.org members. Thanks!

December 10, 2015

Just ignore their messages if you're not into them. I'm sure the pretty women on OLD get tons of messages from overweight guys. I would hardly think your problem is as bad as theirs.

Does it even really qualify as a problem??? The minor annoyance of having to scroll through extra messages which at very least validate that you are generally attractive and should serve as an ego boost alone even if you ignore. Calvin you are better than this.

December 10, 2015

Folks, it appears Robert cleaned up some personal information out of this thread, and I further cleaned up some personal chatting/flirting/solicitation. Our directive is to keep that off of the public forums. The starter is an established member and had, until their recent foray with this thread, PM access, so, in the future, fill up that box with your personal chats and inquiries and save the public spaces for interpersonal relationship discussions which are inclusive of all of our LoveShack.org members. Thanks!

Thanks William!

I have not responded in this thread, but did attempt to send him a PM and system said he does not have access.

That could be his choice though......

December 10, 2015

You could likely say the same in reverse though. Plenty of short guys are very fixated on weight. "They care a lot if you're not thin enough, but don't mind that they're shorter than you."

You could say the same in reverse but it doesn't make it the truth. Women discriminate on short men with zero backlash and it's seen as socially acceptable. When men discriminate on weight, they're seen as scum of the earth and socially ostracized for it.

December 10, 2015

Except that a well written profile or really good photos only take one so far.

I'm constantly rewriting my profile, and yet a woman can put "I'll fill this out later", or "I don't like talking about myself, so just ask", and their mailboxes get stuffed.

Granted, I've had a lot of women tell me I'm much better looking in person, so perhaps it's my choice of photos.

Point is, the odds are definitely stacked against guys, and women are so focused on their careers, that majority of available women let their ovaries dry up by the time they're open to dating guys in their early thirties.

Hmmmmm. Perhaps you are overestimating both your profile and pics. I'm sorry I missed it when you posted your actual profile. I will bite even though I think you are seeing your "problem" from a very limited way. Online is only one portion of where you would find dates and people seem to cycle through rather carelessly (possibly you as well?). I definitely would recommend trying to find a girl to date from real life. If you are as good looking as you indicate, that shouldn't be a problem to get your foot in the door. Did I catch that you are from Montreal? Even better. Huge city with a lot of activities so you have no excuse for not making it happen in real life.

So women are to blame since you are not getting responses because they don't have to work hard to get their responses? That still doesn't explain why the ones you want don't respond to you. Trust me, it has never stopped an attractive guy with something to offer from getting attention. Oh, I get it: you are getting responses from women you don't want to hear from but not the ones you would like to hear from. That's on you. Try in real life.

It is quite the shame you missed okercat's thread recently. You both have a lot in common with your viewpoints of blaming women for the attention you are not getting from them. I actually have followed your threads for a while and have always thought you were cooler than that. Also don't underestimate that women (who stereotypically are better at reading emotions and attitudes) are picking up on the bitterness and low blows. You can always date younger than yourself if you are worried about reproductivity. But as your thread demonstrates what you get and what you want are seemingly two different things. Since you can't control the girls who like you and can only control yourself, there really is only one option: make yourself more appealing in the avenues in which you are looking.

ps it's one thing if you want to do a rant, but why not call it that? Or is there a real question here??? You are getting real feedback and solutions for some things you can try. If you just want to vent about your frustrations throwing out women-insulting comments along the way, it's another story.

Edited December 10, 2015 by Versacehottie

December 10, 2015

Hmmmmm. Perhaps you are overestimating both your profile and pics. I'm sorry I missed it when you posted your actual profile. I will bite even though I think you are seeing your "problem" from a very limited way. Online is only one portion of where you would find dates and people seem to cycle through rather carelessly (possibly you as well?). I definitely would recommend trying to find a girl to date from real life. If you are as good looking as you indicate, that shouldn't be a problem to get your foot in the door. Did I catch that you are from Montreal? Even better. Huge city with a lot of activities so you have no excuse for not making it happen in real life.

So women are to blame since you are not getting responses because they don't have to work hard to get their responses? That still doesn't explain why the ones you want don't respond to you. Trust me, it has never stopped an attractive guy with something to offer from getting attention. Oh, I get it: you are getting responses from women you don't want to hear from but not the ones you would like to hear from. That's on you. Try in real life.

It is quite the shame you missed okercat's thread recently. You both have a lot in common with your viewpoints of blaming women for the attention you are not getting from them. I actually have followed your threads for a while and have always thought you were cooler than that. Also don't underestimate that women (who stereotypically are better at reading emotions and attitudes) are picking up on the bitterness and low blows. You can always date younger than yourself if you are worried about reproductivity. But as your thread demonstrates what you get and what you want are seemingly two different things. Since you can't control the girls who like you and can only control yourself, there really is only one option: make yourself more appealing in the avenues in which you are looking.

ps it's one thing if you want to do a rant, but why not call it that? Or is there a real question here??? You are getting real feedback and solutions for some things you can try. If you just want to vent about your frustrations throwing out women-insulting comments along the way, it's another story.

I posted this looking for sincere advice, and feel for the most part I've received that.

I'm not sure what being perceived by you as cool has anything to do with it.

It's a known fact that women mature earlier than men. And majority of successful women put their careers before family life. Ergo, by the time they're in their early to late 30's, assuming they want kids, there's a genuine panic to settle down. This is not opinion, it's proven.

Anyways, I'm not interested in fat shaming anyone. I was merely looking for some tips from women in my demographic on how to improve my profile.

Edited December 11, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

December 10, 2015

Agree with above poster. I see less of a question here and more validation seeking that you are still attractive enough to attract the "hot girl" type that you want.

Those overweight girls you don't deem good enough because of their weight likely still have PLENTY of options. So don't be such a whiner about getting messages from them. Its an online dating site. Messaging people is what you are supposed to do if interested at all. If they are not your type, just do what every one else does and keep looking.

It's okay to pass them by because you are not interested, but don't blame them.

I would recommend approaching women in real life that you are attracted to, or you initiate conversations with as many women online that you are attracted to as possible. Then wait and see if you get any bites. If you wait for them to come to you, you may be waiting a while.

December 11, 2015

You could likely say the same in reverse though. Plenty of short guys are very fixated on weight. "They care a lot if you're not thin enough, but don't mind that they're shorter than you."

Weight can be lost, without much difficulty.

Height can't be gained

December 11, 2015

I posted this looking for sincere advice, and feel for the most part I've received that.

I'm not sure what being perceived by you as cool has anything to do with it.

It's a known fact that women mature earlier than men. And majority of successful women put their careers before family life. Ergo, by the time they're in their early to late 30's, assuming they want kids, there's a genuine panic to settle down. This is not opinion, it's proven.

Anyways, I'm not interested in fat shaming anyone. I was merely looking for some tips from women in my demographic on how to improve my profile.

I'll add to my previous post... develop some gratitude. I'm not in your demographic and I tried to help you. Sheesh. I'm thinking you aren't aware how often you put your foot in your mouth. (Face palm).

It's not a 'known fact' that women mature earlier than men. That's a justification that sexist and ageist men use to justify their preferences... the old 'biology' line.

Not all women want kids. Do you? Or you just surf that demographic pretending you do so that they will date you? I didn't see anything in other people's discussion of your profile that indicated you have anything to say about how you'd be a father or how you value family and commitment... just lots of gobbldy gook here about how all women of a certain age ought to be beating a path to your door because they are overwhelmed by baby fever... or something.

Any other stereotypes you feel like trotting out? No wonder why women aren't messaging you. It's oozing out of every pore here. You know what? I'm done posting about this to you. World is full of ungrateful people online (both male and female) looking for a free ride... go ahead and join the crowd. (shaking head)

Edited December 11, 2015 by RedRobin

December 11, 2015

I posted this looking for sincere advice, and feel for the most part I've received that.

I'm not sure what being perceived by you as cool has anything to do with it.

Cool as in: a good guy.

Cool as in: more evolved thinking than the statements of both your thread title and in the OP you made

Cool as in: able to handle unwanted attention with confidence and smart enough not to blame your online dating failures on the group of people who is actually interested in you.

Cool as in: astute enough to know these women are not to blame and perhaps name your thread to reflect your real need: looking for advice to improve my profile to get the attention i DO want

Cool as in: able to take responsibility and ownership of the stuff you want to do to get what you want rather than blame a group of people and name call them.

That's what I meant by cool. Probably a few other things too but hopefully you get the picture. Like I said, your previous threads gave me the impression that you were better than this. When I think of the famous male celebrities that are adored by women of all shapes and sizes, I know one thing for sure, they aren't complaining about the women who like them that do not appeal to them. They are basking in the glory of it all, using it to propel them and their confidence to get the ones they do want. Same with normal good looking guys with good hearts. It's unnecessary and makes you look like not a good person which is a turn off to the women you do want to make a good impression on. Be gracious and grateful--it gets you much further in life. I tried to give you a few good tips and I hope you got others so you can focus your energy on implementing those for your dating success.

December 11, 2015

What's wrong with women with some meat on their bones? It has nothing to do with hiking or being active, many "socially overweight" women can be way more active than ones who are skinny. Why don't you just be honest and say in your profile you don't want overweight women because that isn't your preferred type aesthetically.

Just like you aren't a lot of womens type aesthetically either, clearly.

December 11, 2015

Weight can be lost, without much difficulty.

Height can't be gained

Well it can - look up leg lengthening surgery. If weight were so easy for many people to lose...there wouldn't be so many obese people.

December 11, 2015

Well it can - look up leg lengthening surgery. If weight were so easy for many people to lose...there wouldn't be so many obese people.

Well actually, on a physical note only, weight IS easy to lose. It's psychologically that it isn't easy. I.e addictions, no self control, etc.

Somebody who is overweight who eats healthily and exercises will lose weight easily. Somebody who finds dieting and exercising hard because they have no self control and an addiction to food and won't do the things required to lose weight, will say "losing weight is hard"".

A society of people with low self control, constant temptation and a fast food easy living lifestyle is why there are so many obese people.

December 11, 2015

Recently returned to the online dating scene after a brief two month absence and it seems as though every time I log onto okcupid, there are a handful of views, but only messages from overweight women.

I've indicated on my profile that I'm looking for women who are into hiking and other activities that require one to be in shape, but they seem to miss these points.

I've even received messages that start out "I know I'm probably not your type, but.."

Thoughts on how to minimize these interactions?

I get that women who are in shape/more attractive are more desirable, but I'm a reasonably attractive guy, with a well written profile. I can't seem to hook any quality catches.

It sounds like you're on the right track.

My only other suggestion would be to play up your own activities so that someone reading it will not only see what you're looking for in a mate, but also see how you spend your time.

None the less you will always get a few people in who are hoping to bypass your qualifications.

December 11, 2015

Furthermore, you literally say, "curvy is nice." In the world of OLD, every big girl knows that "curvy" is a code word for "fat."

That was really funny and I know you weren't meaning to be but it made me laugh like mad.

December 11, 2015

What's wrong with women with some meat on their bones? It has nothing to do with hiking or being active, many "socially overweight" women can be way more active than ones who are skinny. Why don't you just be honest and say in your profile you don't want overweight women because that isn't your preferred type aesthetically.

Just like you aren't a lot of womens type aesthetically either, clearly.

Well i am not in college so i can one day date a girl 2x my size. Also she will not fit into my dream car a lotus elises LOL.

Thick girls are ok ones with shap and have a thick body build. When i think overweight me personally am talking about woman 15 lbs to 100 plus lbs overweight.

I might be shallow but will never date a woman bigger than me it looks wrong .

December 11, 2015

Totally your preference dude, so I'm guessing you'd say that on your profile. Like this guy needs to! We like what we like and we dislike what we don't want! Be honest about it! Nobody will beat him to death for it, he just will get zero hits rather than ones from only overweight chicks.

December 11, 2015

Same with normal good looking guys with good hearts. It's unnecessary and makes you look like not a good person which is a turn off to the women you do want to make a good impression on. Be gracious and grateful--it gets you much further in life.

Actually I know some drop dead gorgeous guys, certified 9's and 10's in every respect. And strangely they do not have this woman hating attitude that the OP seems to be expressing. They get hit on by all types, even the wrong sex, but they don't get angry about it. They understand it's just a fact of life that people you aren't interested in will be interested in you.

It's not any easier for them to find love. What they get is a larger volume of the wrong people expressing interest. It's probably more frustrating than what the OP experiences. But I've never heard one of them say....I'm freaking hot goddammit! How dare those people be interested in me. They just smile and politely decline invitations.

December 11, 2015

Many people criticize things about this woman that man.

But when you take a look they got a big fat belly hanging themselves.

So i think its good to be respectful to everybody. Even if they are not your type.

Cause you dont know how life will turn out on you.

Maybe tomorrow things hapen and you are the fat one. How would you like people to act towards you? Use your answer to deal with your situation.

What do you call fat? Curvy is fat to you/?

I understand everybody have their own taste.

But maybe you are a big guy or in posture? And that attract them?

The best thing is to appreciate the compliments you get. And just dont react on the ones you dont like. And get busy knowing girls

in real life. Beside that only "fat" girls contact you.......maybe for skinny girls you to fat to or they dont find you attractive. lol the world we live in...

December 11, 2015

Beside i dont think being overweight is the biggest of the concerns.

I think you ratter have a fat gf/bf then a skinny alcoholic, abuser, bpolar, drug addict etc.

Cause weight can change if needed and if the person feels like.

Sign In

I seem to only attract overweight women

Recommended Posts

losangelena

RedRobin

LookAtThisPOst

losangelena

brokengirl85

William

Versacehottie

katiegrl

pizzaro

Versacehottie

CalvinM

Silver_star

lino

RedRobin

Versacehottie

Samhain

lollipopspot

Samhain

Wewon

Samhain

Krieger

Samhain

Buddhist

Cherryz

Cherryz

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...