I seem to only attract overweight women

[CalvinM]

Take out the pile or rocks comment and the comments about messages you won't respond to (the hi and the cat comment). Those lines are negative. You say you want someone who doesn't take herself too seriously, yet, here you are showcasing yourself as someone who takes offense easily. I wouldn't write to you based on those comments. Desirable women get lots of messages they don't respond to, so we get that it's your right not to respond to messages you don't like. You don't need to explain it to us.

 

Don't have the picture with your cat as the primary picture.

 

I assume you message women you do find attractive and aren't getting responses? What do you include on those messages?

I usually message them based on something we have in common, and ask an open ended question based on the rest of their profile.

[Kamille]

I usually message them based on something we have in common, and ask an open ended question based on the rest of their profile.

 

 

That sounds good. You're showing you read their profile and keeping the message short. Hopefully your luck improves with the modifications to your profile Losangelina and I suggested.

[Kamille]

I commend you for posting your profile. I will add the pic you are staring at the camera. Your face looks goofy. Dump it. The one looking away is much better. The golf pic is all right, now on 2nd look. Have another "active lifestyle" pic? And get a 4th good one and you will be on your way. Are you closer to 5'8" or 5'10"? If the latter, change it to 5'10". Women are dumb in height guesses unless they are super tall 5'10" and up.

 

He said he likes tall women. I'm 5'8. As a result, I can tell the difference between a guy who's 5'9 and a guy who's 5'10.

[angel.eyes]

I liked your final picture the best. Use that as your profile picture. Then the golf picture, and finally the cat picture. (Your cat is adorable!) I'm totally not a fan of the burgundy sweater photo. I would lose that one.

 

IMO, the main issue is really your written profile. You start off on a negative note and are fairly negative throughout. Hopefully my comments aren't too harsh, but you come across as a "glass half empty" type who is sarcastic and fake. For example, when my friends and I helped each other move in college, we just picked up any box and moved. You apparently want to give the impression of helping without actually doing much...trying to pick out the box with pillows...i.e. fake niceness/helpfulness. Not my cup of tea at all. Or the type of person I would want in my life. But that's me. It won't bother everyone...obviously true since you're getting interest.

[angel.eyes]

He said he likes tall women. I'm 5'8. As a result, I can tell the difference between a guy who's 5'9 and a guy who's 5'10.

Yup. I'm 5' 9" and I'm really good at judging a guy's height both in photos and in person if they're between 5' 6" and 6' 10". Don't lie, especially about something like height that is so easy to figure out. Lying is a deal breaker for many people.

[Buddhist]

Okay,

 

So you're in the middle ground there. Your written profile really does you no favours at all to be honest. You come across as a pedantic complainer. If sarcasm is your humour just remember it doesn't translate well in written form. You really have to pull it off in person. I can see why you're only getting interest from women with limited options.

[road]

I am not a woman, I saw that and you come across poorly.

Edited December 10, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Toodaloo]

Sorry to say its still not quite there.

 

It feels a bit like you are shopping on ebay or Amazon.

 

Can you make it a bit more friendly?

 

As for the fat women etc. All you do is just ignore their messages or just say sorry your not my type. Simples. I can't stand tattoos and I get men who are covered in them along with piercings etc all the time. I am polite friendly but make it clear that they are not my type.

 

OLD seems to go in waves for me. I get a wave of good matches then a wave of terrible ones.

 

It is at the end of the day just a tool so keep talking to women at the gym, shops etc as well.

[casey.lives]

voluptuous or overweight?? are a bean pole yourself.. because opposites attract

[LookAtThisPOst]

Recently returned to the online dating scene after a brief two month absence and it seems as though every time I log onto okcupid, there are a handful of views, but only messages from overweight women.

 

I've indicated on my profile that I'm looking for women who are into hiking and other activities that require one to be in shape, but they seem to miss these points.

 

I've even received messages that start out "I know I'm probably not your type, but.."

 

Thoughts on how to minimize these interactions?

 

I get that women who are in shape/more attractive are more desirable, but I'm a reasonably attractive guy, with a well written profile. I can't seem to hook any quality catches.

 

 

Heck, I had even contacted overweight women in my area only to viewed but ignored. That's quite telling of their standards in online dating.

 

I have kind of found that "big" women, big meaning overweight, tend to like "big" men...so that's probably why. Kind of like tall women preferring taller men...same with weight...being bigger than a man, even though it's horizontal, makes them look too big for their man. Some don't want to look bigger than their man.

 

But yeah, I've seen quite the Jabba the Hutts in my dating area, and I'm not talking about slightly chunky or chubby, but dump truck sized.

 

Already contacted those that are equal to me in weight parameters...still they are on the site...guess they haven't realized their limited dating options in this smaller community.

 

Anyhow, yeah, I had taken a nutrition class....and I was watching the growing statistics in the past 15 years since 2000 the number of people in the United States, in general, that are seriously overweight.

 

When you see "average" as a body type, it's purely subjective and can only be confirmed on this end with pictures. A lot of which have the "resting b-face" lol

Edited December 10, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst

[CalvinM]

Heck, I had even contacted overweight women in my area only to viewed but ignored. That's quite telling of their standards in online dating.

 

I have kind of found that "big" women, big meaning overweight, tend to like "big" men...so that's probably why. Kind of like tall women preferring taller men...same with weight...being bigger than a man, even though it's horizontal, makes them look too big for their man. Some don't want to look bigger than their man.

 

But yeah, I've seen quite the Jabba the Hutts in my dating area, and I'm not talking about slightly chunky or chubby, but dump truck sized.

 

Already contacted those that are equal to me in weight parameters...still they are on the site...guess they haven't realized their limited dating options in this smaller community.

 

Anyhow, yeah, I had taken a nutrition class....and I was watching the growing statistics in the past 15 years since 2000 the number of people in the United States, in general, that are seriously overweight.

 

When you see "average" as a body type, it's purely subjective and can only be confirmed on this end with pictures. A lot of which have the "resting b-face" lol

Good points.

 

Btw, are you advocating I change my body type to "athletic" or "fit"?

[LookAtThisPOst]

Good points.

 

Btw, are you advocating I change my body type to "athletic" or "fit"?

 

I would guess, fit.

[AspenBaldwin]

You look cute, can't really blame the obese girls for trying to contact you. I mean, who wouldn't want to wake up by ur side every morning.

[Kamille]

You seem well grounded, what would you rate me out of ten, or if you prefer on the attractive scale?

 

Based on your pictures alone, I would write to you if I liked your write-up. I don't know where that would put you on a scale. Cute enough to date.

 

I usually go for guys who display a sense of humour in their write up. Not too much of one but just enough to make me smile.

 

I still had your OLD page opened and so was able to refresh and see how you had changed your profile. I think Toodaloo is right that it now reads like a grocery list of wants.

 

When you have a chance, write a profile that shows people who you are. Right now there is very little for people to relate to. You want to plant "hooks" into your profile. In my own profile, I state what I do for a job and most people start the conversation by asking me what I teach. You could possibly do the same thing with writing. Instead of linking your work, you could say "I'm writer. I like talking about writing, so feel free to ask me any question about it."

 

More things on which you could expand.

You like travelling and architecture? Where have you travelled? What blew you away? What would you like to visit?

You like the outdoors? What's your favorite outdoor activity in your region? Do you go skiing in the winter and end up eating raclette in a hut? Skating?

 

 

You could also change the last line to something that invites more than a hello - as you say yourself you don't like messages that are just a "hello" but, here, you are telling people it's fine to do just that.

[Mugen]

I did the online dating thing for a bit. I only got messages from overweight girls, single mothers, or alcoholics. I stopped using OLD.

[gaius]

Except that a well written profile or really good photos only take one so far.

 

I'm constantly rewriting my profile, and yet a woman can put "I'll fill this out later", or "I don't like talking about myself, so just ask", and their mailboxes get stuffed.

 

Granted, I've had a lot of women tell me I'm much better looking in person, so perhaps it's my choice of photos.

 

Point is, the odds are definitely stacked against guys, and women are so focused on their careers, that majority of available women let their ovaries dry up by the time they're open to dating guys in their early thirties.

I'm already getting the vibe 2 posts in that you're one of those guys that wants to be pursued, and that just ain't happening if you're looking for a high quality woman. Who cares if they get a lot of attention without much work. You're the man, do the pursuing.

[CalvinM]

I'm already getting the vibe 2 posts in that you're one of those guys that wants to be pursued, and that just ain't happening if you're looking for a high quality woman. Who cares if they get a lot of attention without much work. You're the man, do the pursuing.

Not pursued per se, but if I put in the time to write a message that shows interest, and indicates that I've read their profile, it would be nice to get a response. Even if it's a quick one to tell me they're not interested.

[lilmissjava]

Most women aren't going to admit straightaway if they are overweight. Some women can carry their weight proportionately. What is acceptable to you?

 

Depending on what you feel is acceptable for your definition of "overweight", you are essentially discounting a lot of women based on this preconception.

 

I am not saying it is wrong, but you could be eliminating the most perfect woman for you, that has all the qualities you are looking for as a person, and you are going to forgo her.

 

Personalities don't change, weight can.

 

Something to keep in mind.

[stillafool]

Lol, it got pretty heated when I posted on this topic a while back:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/551589-why-do-i-keep-attracting-overweight-women

 

Yes and didn't you also post: Why some women are single? Maybe you could give the same advice here.

[CalvinM]

Truth be told, I dated someone for most of last year who was 15-20 pounds overweight and if we had lived in the same city, I probably would've married her. Circumstances aside, I see you point. But I'd still prefer to date someone who is in reasonable enough shape to walk up Mount Royal and not be out of breath.

[Jimmysss]

maybe you have that kind of vibe

[losangelena]

On an unrelated note, has anyone seen a photo of Gaeta? She's constantly posting about guys standing her up. She sounds cute and Montréal really isn't that far.

 

Just click through to her profile, dude ...

[SwordofFlame]

Just ignore their messages if you're not into them. I'm sure the pretty women on OLD get tons of messages from overweight guys. I would hardly think your problem is as bad as theirs.

[smackie9]

A friend of mine is going through the same thing. I told him to find someone irl not on line.....he thought about it and agreed.

[RedRobin]

Except that a well written profile or really good photos only take one so far.

 

I'm constantly rewriting my profile, and yet a woman can put "I'll fill this out later", or "I don't like talking about myself, so just ask", and their mailboxes get stuffed.

 

Granted, I've had a lot of women tell me I'm much better looking in person, so perhaps it's my choice of photos.

 

Point is, the odds are definitely stacked against guys, and women are so focused on their careers, that majority of available women let their ovaries dry up by the time they're open to dating guys in their early thirties.

 

I am sure that is how it feels, but it is not true at all. Besides, it is everyone's best interest these days to focus on how to survive. The same guys who gripe about 'drying up ovaries' are the same guys who don't want to support a woman, or couldn't.

 

Your entitled attitude above is likely shining through.

 

Lots of women in your target market have learned to easily read between the lines and can spot an entitled, bitter, ladder climber a mile away.

 

I will restate my prior post... Change your attitude. Women aren't here for your convenience.