Fallen_Angel Posted May 30, 2005 Posted May 30, 2005 I still have my ex's best friend's Yahoo pic page in my favorites. I check it every once in a while to see if there's anything interesting. Well it seems as though they hung out at his school on Saturday. In two of the pictures, my ex is standing near a girl I don't recognize and they're working on some sort of model ship. I swear after I saw those two pictures I almost stopped breathing. I feel I'm on the verge of a hysterical collapse. For some reason I want to call him. Isn't that ridiculous? I'd sound loony if I said "oh by the way, who's the girl in the picture?" Not to mention I went on a (LOUSY) date this weekend, and hooked up with a guy friend two weeks back...so I know he would not be pleased if he knew this... Why does this feel like a million rusty knives stabbing me all over?
outdated Posted May 30, 2005 Posted May 30, 2005 Hello FA, I don't think it's weird that you feel that way. Even though things have been extremely weird with my ex lately to say the least, I still feel that way every now and then, especially when i see a picture or something. You think you've moved on, but then it hits you at the worst time. This weekend is that kind of time because on Holidays you miss them the most. If you do something fun and special you notice the void. I guess the best advice is not to call. I never follow that advice though, so I probably shouldn't give it. I go NC for a while, then one of us breaks it. It's not healthy, but neither is our relationship right now. Good luck, sorry to hear you had such a lousy date.
dgiirl Posted May 30, 2005 Posted May 30, 2005 FA, sorry to hear what happen. But you do realize what you have to do? Delete that bookmark!!! You DONT want to know what's going on with your ex, because it'll only cause you pain. I know it's really hard to delete it, but you must. I'm having difficulty myself from stopping snooping on my stbx, but I'm making progress. I've moved his IM into a hidden folder (i still need it until my divorce is final), removed all my bookmarks of the forums we posted at, and replaced my forum addiction with LS It's taken me some time, and sometimes I relapse and snoop, but then I cry afterwards and I learn my lesson. Thankfully he has no clue I'm doing this, so I still have my self-respect. Dont contact him!!! Put yourself in his shoes. If one of your ex's that you dumped contacted you, what would you say/feel?
moimeme Posted May 31, 2005 Posted May 31, 2005 Wipe that bookmark away and forget the URL. My ex didn't bother telling me he'd found someone new. It just would have been handy to know - otherwise I didn't care. The way I found out was I was checking his website to see some photos of the Northern Lights he was supposed to have taken and there were a whole bunch of pics of him with his new chickie - who looked eerily like me! I never checked the site again, nor will I. I thought he was a fair bit of schmuck not even sending one email to say 'by the way, I've got a girlfriend now'.
alphamale Posted May 31, 2005 Posted May 31, 2005 Originally posted by Fallen_Angel Why does this feel like a million rusty knives stabbing me all over? because u still luv yer ex
dgiirl Posted May 31, 2005 Posted May 31, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme his new chickie - who looked eerily like me! Apparently, my stbxh has a "type". The weird thing is, he says when he first met her, he felt an intense connection, the same way he did with me. Like your "soul" mate. My therapist told me it's bad when you have that feeling. Usually it means you've found someone to fulfil a relationship that reminds you of your parents relationship. I thought he was a fair bit of schmuck not even sending one email to say 'by the way, I've got a girlfriend now'. Heh, I'd say it was decent of him. Why would you want him to tell you that? If any of my ex's did that, I'd feel like he was rubbing it in my face.
Author Fallen_Angel Posted May 31, 2005 Author Posted May 31, 2005 Ok, I admit it, I still love him. But he IS a schmuck. This weekend was especially tough because I used to spend Memorial Day weekend with him and his friends and we always had such a blast. I spent most of this weekend doing nothing...but then again, what does it say about him that he has to occupy his time without me with a model ship?! Bah. I don't care if that sounds mean. He deserves it. I realize there's always the chance that the girl in the picture wasn't with him (ie. doesn't go to school with my ex & goes with his friend). But regardless...I have to let go. Such an idea hurts like hell and I feel the tears coming on even after typing those words, but I don't have a choice. Besides, I deserve better than a schmuck! We all do!
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