Samuel_22 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Hi for those of you who don't know me, my ex girlfriend left me for her ex some about 5 months ago. We had a short RS about 6 months but I was devastated when she left me. I had 3-4 months of nightmare, when I started to accept it was over forever. I admit I had not healed completely until, well, this new girl showed up at work. She is a secretary at the school where I teach, I know very little about her, since it has been only 2 weeks she has been employed. I can't stop thinking of her, my mind has been occupied to the extent, I have not been thinking even a minute about my ex since a week ago. I am worried though, I don't know what I should do, but three things which have held me back are these things 1. Am I rushing into another RS? 2. I have a crush on this one too, come to think of it, I had the same feeling about my ex when I first met her, which eventually led me to be clingy and submissive at times 3. if you think everything is alright and it is time to move on, how do you think I should get a phone number or something? because, you know I can't even talk to her much at work, let alone putting forward the opinion. Thanks everyone
Dylon Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 I don't recommend you ask her for her phone number. She's new to the school and the last thing she needs is a teacher hitting on her. And if it goes bad? You will be embarrassed and has to face her everyday. Take it easy. There's time. Working at the same school, you will have opportunities eventually. You need to know more about her first. It's too early for you to ask for a number and it could be very embarrassing for her and you, as well as create a very awkward situation. 1
cichlid Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 You are fixated on her as a transitional object (Google it) as a way of breaking away from your other girlfriend, and no it's not healthy. You need to get a grip on your emotions, perhaps see a qualified professional to work through it. 1
Author Samuel_22 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 I don't recommend you ask her for her phone number. She's new to the school and the last thing she needs is a teacher hitting on her. And if it goes bad? You will be embarrassed and has to face her everyday. Take it easy. There's time. Working at the same school, you will have opportunities eventually. You need to know more about her first. It's too early for you to ask for a number and it could be very embarrassing for her and you, as well as create a very awkward situation. I think you read my mind, I was thinking of the same thing, I bet it is going to be really embarrassing let's give it some time then, you are right about it! but you know what? she is a blessing, even if I don't put forward the idea at all, at least she has made me forget about my ex completely thanks!
Dylon Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 I thought the same, that it's good you had thoughts about other woman. Just take it easy hounddog lol. You won't regret it. It's just physical attraction. She could be engaged, a lesbian, and many other unavailable situations. Even if she finds you attractive, it's too much to be asked like that being new on the job, or being asked at all by a coworker without knowing a little about the person first. You will seem like a very unappealing guy, maybe even desperate. 1
Author Samuel_22 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 You are fixated on her as a transitional object (Google it) as a way of breaking away from your other girlfriend, and no it's not healthy. You need to get a grip on your emotions, perhaps see a qualified professional to work through it. Transitional object? what are you talking about? I really really find her more attractive and more beautiful than my ex. I have literally a crush on this new lady, I am pretty sure about my feelings, she is not any random girl on the street, I have had the opportunity to date 4-5 other girls in this short space of time, but I did not do it. Well, with you definition, after a break up, any RS is a rebound RS, which is not true. I mean, it can work. Correct me if I am wrong.
Author Samuel_22 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 I thought the same, that it's good you had thoughts about other woman. Just take it easy hounddog lol. You won't regret it. It's just physical attraction. She could be engaged, a lesbian, and many other unavailable situations. Even if she finds you attractive, it's too much to be asked like that being new on the job, or being asked at all by a coworker without knowing a little about the person first. You will seem like a very unappealing guy, maybe even desperate. YES!YES!YES! You definitely have a point. For now, I just just have to do what feels right in the moment without trying to focus on the distant destination just yet. Love doesn't operate on any timetable but its own. But I really hope she is the one! Thank you once more
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