mkaur215 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Hi everyone I'm currently 22 years old and I had met someone online through a chatting app. He was the ideal boyfriend, respected me was crazy about me. He used to constantly tell me I'm out of his league and how lucky he was to have me. But throughout the relationship I treated him like crap, never used to be lovey dovey towards and if i did it would be because I was feeling frisky. He lives in Maryland and I lived in New York so we only saw each other like twice a year, so ive only met him twice. But we texted each other regularly and called each other. A lot has been going on with my life, I was doing bad in school, had money problems but of course he was there for me. One day I just snapped and went berserk on him told him I never liked him, wasn't attracted to him and I hate talking to him. While I was with him I downloaded another chatting app just to talk to other people but never intimately nor did I cheat on him. He told me he loved me and wanted to settle down, two days later I broke down and messaged him apologized how I acted and he took me back. One day when i messaged him, supposedly a girl a messaged back saying she was his gf and she sent a pic of both of them together. Turns out he was talking to her for two months who lived 20 minutes away from him and he had taken her to meet his family. He dumped me that same day and said she makes him happy and all I did was treated him bad. But while I was with him it irked me that I was in a relationship with someone who i couldn't see whenever I wanted and who wasn't so attractive. Its been a few days and I begged him to come back and he said if it doesnt work out with her he will let me know. Should I continue trying to pursue this? knowing that while I was with him the distance was upsetting me and It always bothered me that he wasn't the greatest looking guy? Please be as brutally honest as you can, thank you.
cichlid Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 You sound very selfish, you only care about what you want and you refer to him as if he's almost an inanimate object without any feelings that can be tossed back in the play chest when you get bored. This sort of attitude will result in you never having a fulfilling, meaningful relationship. Learn to put the feelings of others ahead of your own. In this particular case his feeling is that he he wants to be with this other girl who treats him much better than you did, so leave him alone. 5
Amelie1980 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 (edited) Hi everyone I'm currently 22 years old and I had met someone online through a chatting app. He was the ideal boyfriend, respected me was crazy about me. He used to constantly tell me I'm out of his league and how lucky he was to have me. But throughout the relationship I treated him like crap, never used to be lovey dovey towards and if i did it would be because I was feeling frisky. He lives in Maryland and I lived in New York so we only saw each other like twice a year, so ive only met him twice. But we texted each other regularly and called each other. A lot has been going on with my life, I was doing bad in school, had money problems but of course he was there for me. One day I just snapped and went berserk on him told him I never liked him, wasn't attracted to him and I hate talking to him. While I was with him I downloaded another chatting app just to talk to other people but never intimately nor did I cheat on him. He told me he loved me and wanted to settle down, two days later I broke down and messaged him apologized how I acted and he took me back. One day when i messaged him, supposedly a girl a messaged back saying she was his gf and she sent a pic of both of them together. Turns out he was talking to her for two months who lived 20 minutes away from him and he had taken her to meet his family. He dumped me that same day and said she makes him happy and all I did was treated him bad. But while I was with him it irked me that I was in a relationship with someone who i couldn't see whenever I wanted and who wasn't so attractive. Its been a few days and I begged him to come back and he said if it doesnt work out with her he will let me know. Should I continue trying to pursue this? knowing that while I was with him the distance was upsetting me and It always bothered me that he wasn't the greatest looking guy? Please be as brutally honest as you can, thank you. You've only met him twice and so it doesnt sound like he was your bf. How invested can you really be in an online friendship. But...he told you he loved you and was kind to you. You were not nice or loving to him unless you were frisky and wanted somehting from him. Then you laid into him and said you never liked him, hated talking to him and you say he isnt even attractive. Beauty is only skin deep. It sounds like he was very caring though. By that one post alone, it shows me that even if you have a pretty face, you are really not a nice person..it irked you that he wasnt so attractive, really?! Well go out there and find someone you judge to be attractive enough for you, who lives in your town and who is willing to tolerate your temper and nasty comments. It's ironic that you didnt think he was attractive enough and yet he was able to replace you quite easily. A pretty face is nothing if you are not a nice person. Remember that. Just let this one go. He dumped you and found a new gf. Edited December 9, 2015 by Amelie1980
Erik30 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Why do you even want him back? You're not attracted to him, and you barely saw each other. You only liked the way he treated you, and the attention he gave you. He probably realized this so he moved on, and so should you. Find a new guy. 3
marky00 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Once you begged and he took you back... all the power shifted to him. I did that once and the next 5 years of that relationship I wasn't the one with the power. This is why meltdowns and ultimatums always backfire because then you end up having to lower your pride (to repair the damage) which will put u in a different light in your partner's eyes for years to come.
Pacify Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Hi everyone I'm currently 22 years old and I had met someone online through a chatting app. He was the ideal boyfriend, respected me was crazy about me. He used to constantly tell me I'm out of his league and how lucky he was to have me. But throughout the relationship I treated him like crap, never used to be lovey dovey towards and if i did it would be because I was feeling frisky. He lives in Maryland and I lived in New York so we only saw each other like twice a year, so ive only met him twice. But we texted each other regularly and called each other. A lot has been going on with my life, I was doing bad in school, had money problems but of course he was there for me. One day I just snapped and went berserk on him told him I never liked him, wasn't attracted to him and I hate talking to him. While I was with him I downloaded another chatting app just to talk to other people but never intimately nor did I cheat on him. He told me he loved me and wanted to settle down, two days later I broke down and messaged him apologized how I acted and he took me back. One day when i messaged him, supposedly a girl a messaged back saying she was his gf and she sent a pic of both of them together. Turns out he was talking to her for two months who lived 20 minutes away from him and he had taken her to meet his family. He dumped me that same day and said she makes him happy and all I did was treated him bad. But while I was with him it irked me that I was in a relationship with someone who i couldn't see whenever I wanted and who wasn't so attractive. Its been a few days and I begged him to come back and he said if it doesnt work out with her he will let me know. Should I continue trying to pursue this? knowing that while I was with him the distance was upsetting me and It always bothered me that he wasn't the greatest looking guy? Please be as brutally honest as you can, thank you. The reason you feel terrible is because you treated him badley. Let the past go forgive yourself, work on yourself and find someone in your area. Learn from this!
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