chris maurice Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 My ex broke up with me a while ago. i wont put in all the details, guess she just didnt feel the same anymore. she told me alot of things so in the end it wasnt just working. I cried i begged and all of that until 2 months ago i went full nc. Now she messages me now and then, stupid messages really boutus and what we had and the stuff i gave her and all that. Its honestly just putting me through the emotions now because we were together for 3 years. Let me put this out here too. Since last year until we broke up she never asked to see me or spend time with me. she put me aside and put other people and other things ahead of me, and like the fool i was i stayed. So now i just wanna have the strongest will power to let her know how i feel and just move on from there. If she ever messages me again i want to say listen, all this small talk makes no sense. its either we are something or nothing. Im open to getting back with you but if your not up for that we should just move on and stop this contacting. we cant be friends i dont want that. so its either we are something or nothing. The reason behind this also is that she wants to talk, tell me stuff also says meet up sometime and what not but never say anything about reconciliation. so its just have me going through emotions that i dont want. I dreamt her last night after 2 months. I dont know what i want really. she was my first love first everything and we were very close. But idk whats gonna happen. so is it ok to send that?
JDam Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Im going through exactly the same thing (I wrote about it in other threads under the break up section). And I feel exactly the same. Dumpers can be so fu*king selfish to give us these little hints for us to hold on to. i hate that. I recently got a handwritten letter from my ex where he says we should meet up. All this **** just puts me back in the healing process, the fact that I had to read it and analyze it. I would tell him exactly what you said but I never will because Im just too proud to admit Im still not over him. I would just never tell him look it's "either or" because I would show him Im not over him. So I chose to let it be and hope it will just work itself out.
Amelie1980 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 My ex did this to me. Months after we broke up. I finally said to him via text straight up.... what do you want from me. He said back he was just being a friend. So I told him he was no friend of mine after the way he behaved. That put a stop to his messages. Dont say you're open to reconciling. I would just ignore her or ask what she wants. 1
JDam Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Exactly, I would never ever say Im open to reconciliation by telling him its either all or nothing. I feel like you just surrender and give him too much control over what is going to happen. You give HIM the option to decide what will happen next. Therefore I chose to ignore him. 2
Amelie1980 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Exactly, I would never ever say Im open to reconciliation by telling him its either all or nothing. I feel like you just surrender and give him too much control over what is going to happen. You give HIM the option to decide what will happen next. Therefore I chose to ignore him. That is a lesson I have never learned!
cichlid Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Block her number. That is, if you ever want to get over her.
Author chris maurice Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 You see the reason I stated that ultimatum is because I'm OK with it and the outcome. I don't need her. And I don't want to be involved in games. I dont know if she wants to get back with me or not. Becausw as of lately shes doing all the contacting. And i do not want further contact unless it means something. So maybe the next time i should just asks what she really wants by messaging me. If she says for us to be friends i'll be honest and tell her i dont want that and we should just move on. Im hoping this would be better than what i stated above
JDam Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Yeah, ask what she wants and if she says she wants to be friends, tell her she is no friend of yours and that it is not healthy for you to maintain that kinda friendship because you want to move on with your life.
Author chris maurice Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 I hate the fact that i have to do all this again. And i hate it more that i have to wait for a message then to reply. Should i just lay it on her and ask her.
JDam Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 It is exactly why I chose to ignore my ex's hints. Because I dont want to deal with this **** anymore, as you mention wait for response, analyze further replies etc. My situation is very similar to yours.
Amelie1980 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 I hate the fact that i have to do all this again. And i hate it more that i have to wait for a message then to reply. Should i just lay it on her and ask her. You dont have to do this all again. You have a choice to not let your ex mess you around. You can choose to ignore them. Why dont you? I wish I had ignored m last two exes. You can choose not to let them mess around anymore by ignoring them. Why dont you take the control back and ignore her. 2
Author chris maurice Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 You dont have to do this all again. You have a choice to not let your ex mess you around. You can choose to ignore them. Why dont you? I wish I had ignored m last two exes. You can choose not to let them mess around anymore by ignoring them. Why dont you take the control back and ignore her. You know what.. its exactly what im gonna do. if she ever replies. i'll just say its better we both completely moved on. end it right there. I was making this a problem for myself. maybe to feed my ego and feel good how shes doing the contacting. but enough of that. i need to get on with my life. 1
Myragal Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 You dont have to do this all again. You have a choice to not let your ex mess you around. You can choose to ignore them. Why dont you? I wish I had ignored m last two exes. You can choose not to let them mess around anymore by ignoring them. Why dont you take the control back and ignore her. I was going to write exactly this. However, we know that the OP wants to hear from her. All of this is some type of self denial. A secure, confident male would see a message, go 'meh' , ignore it and move on. He doesn't have to do anything. 3
Amelie1980 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 (edited) I was going to write exactly this. However, we know that the OP wants to hear from her. All of this is some type of self denial. A secure, confident male would see a message, go 'meh' , ignore it and move on. He doesn't have to do anything. This x1000% TO show you are really over it....ignore her. However if my ex ever contacted me...... Edited December 9, 2015 by Amelie1980
Author chris maurice Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 I was going to write exactly this. However, we know that the OP wants to hear from her. All of this is some type of self denial. A secure, confident male would see a message, go 'meh' , ignore it and move on. He doesn't have to do anything. Its what im gonna do now
Author chris maurice Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 This x1000% TO show you are really over it....ignore her. However if my ex ever contacted me...... Lol yes. however what???
Author chris maurice Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 Its amazing what can happen when u take a few moments and really dig deep and look into yourself. Im not talking to her anymore. whatever she has to say will be ignored. Im moving on with my life. 3
Amelie1980 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Lol yes. however what??? I would probably jump out of my skin with excitement and reply. 1
Author chris maurice Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 I would probably jump out of my skin with excitement and reply. Lol dont do it
Amelie1980 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Lol dont do it That's if he ever texts me again. ....:-(
Author chris maurice Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 That's if he ever texts me again. ....:-( Hiss loss if he doesn't. Could be someone else's gain
SoThatHappened Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 chris, If you want to be better in the future, (i.e. further moved on, working on yourself, improving your life, more available for someone else)... fall off the face of the earth as far as she's concerned. I would seriously change my number and/or block her in every form possible. Why this is a win/win you ask? When she messages you and you don't know (or don't respond), that piques her interest. It also keeps you moving in a singular direction. She's intrigued (or at the worst, impressed if not attracted), and you're moving in the right direction. Do NOT entertain anything short of "I messed up and I want you back."... or something in that context. Time to move on (win) and possibly/maybe/eh... she will want you back (win). BUT! don't count on the latter. That's the best way to move on.
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