JiltedJane Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 time for some stupid questions. just want some opinions. So i went on two dates with what seems so far to be a great guy! We have a third date set up for tomorrow. It has only been two weeks, but he seems okay with only wanting to meet up once a week. He does make time for me based on my busy/non-consistent schedule. i pick/change a day-he's available. Is once a week okay/the norm for something so new? especially if we live within walking distance? Also, how often is it normal to text in a new relationship?We do text almost everyday. But its not consistent in terms of what times and how long we're texting. I'm confused because my longest relationships were polar opposites. The first guy we initally only saw eachother every 2 weeks, and the other we saw eachother almost everyday right from the start-and he texted literally 24/7.
Mrin Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 time for some stupid questions. just want some opinions. So i went on two dates with what seems so far to be a great guy! We have a third date set up for tomorrow. It has only been two weeks, but he seems okay with only wanting to meet up once a week. He does make time for me based on my busy/non-consistent schedule. i pick/change a day-he's available. Is once a week okay/the norm for something so new? especially if we live within walking distance? Also, how often is it normal to text in a new relationship?We do text almost everyday. But its not consistent in terms of what times and how long we're texting. I'm confused because my longest relationships were polar opposites. The first guy we initally only saw eachother every 2 weeks, and the other we saw eachother almost everyday right from the start-and he texted literally 24/7. How old are you? Any kids in the mix? I'm in the 30 - 40's dating range. So think established friends, jobs, routines. Starting out, dates once a week is pretty normal. Transitioning to more frequent as things get more serious. As it texting a bit each day. On the texting thing - everyone is all over the board on that. Some people it is non-stop and others barely at all. I prefer a bit every day myself. TMI but here's how I think of it: Dating: you are trying to fit each other into your lives. The default assumption is that you are not together - that is to say you are together when you schedule it. E.g. if you are invited to a party, he would only go with you if you asked. Relationship: You are experiencing life together. The default assumption is that you are most likely but not always together. If you are invited to a party, he'd probably go with you. Committed Relationship: You are building a life together. Making plans. Cohabitation. Joint purchases. Default assumption is that you're always together. If you are invited to a party of course he'd come with. IMHO, the biggest challenge is usually transitioning between Dating and Relationship and the older you get, the less likely you are to be really comfortable with the "usually together" nature of Relationship.
Redhead14 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 time for some stupid questions. just want some opinions. So i went on two dates with what seems so far to be a great guy! We have a third date set up for tomorrow. It has only been two weeks, but he seems okay with only wanting to meet up once a week. He does make time for me based on my busy/non-consistent schedule. i pick/change a day-he's available. Is once a week okay/the norm for something so new? especially if we live within walking distance? Also, how often is it normal to text in a new relationship?We do text almost everyday. But its not consistent in terms of what times and how long we're texting. I'm confused because my longest relationships were polar opposites. The first guy we initally only saw eachother every 2 weeks, and the other we saw eachother almost everyday right from the start-and he texted literally 24/7. Once a week seeing each other is just right, actually, in the very beginning. More than that in the early stages isn't a good thing. As far as texting -- it's a matter of personal choice really. But the woman should initiate minimally at least for a while. You just be responsive/receptive. After a couple more dates, you can and should initiate more. Just keep things balanced. If they are texting 24/7, there isn't much to talk about in person. He should be calling you at least once between dates, not texting all the time. And usually when a guy only wants to see you every two weeks, the guy really isn't that "hot" for you. You're usually a back up or he's just kinda lukewarm about you. Seeing a guy every day in the very beginning is bad because it's too much too soon. Usually a guy who wants to see you every single day so soon is either blow torching or a stage 5 clinger Once a week is good for a while and then maybe go to twice a week for a while. Let things build gradually.
losangelena Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 OP, first these are not stupid questions. Secondly, I think the "right" amount of contact boils down to how much of it you want. Are you comfortable seeing this guy once a week? Would you like to see him more often? Same with the texting. There's no right or wrong, really. I mean, most people would say to pace yourselves in the beginning. But in the end you have to aim for what's ideal for you. Do you want to hear from him more? Do you initiate contact? What does an ideal situation look like?
alphamale Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 seeing each other once per week is fine for now. you shouldn' t be texting everyday, however, maybe a few times per week.
Redfisher Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 No right answers...Its what feels right to both of you, Some chicks are cool once or twice a week some like everyday.... What do you like? 3
katiegrl Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 But its not consistent in terms of what times and how long we're texting. Does this bother you? If so... would you really want to know exactly what time he was going to text you each day.... and how long your texts would last every time? I would think things would get very boring....very quickly... .with that type of rigidity. Anyhoo.... agree with the others....every couple is different, so there is no right or wrong answer here. If I were to give you any advice though.... it would be try and be more spontaneous and flexible about this stuff. There are times when he may text you every day, then he may skip a day. Don't panic....it's perfectly normal! Try not to get into a routine wherein you are expecting him to text/call you every day...etc. Feelings are fluid.... allow for some space. Especially early on. If you start feeling anxious, take deep breaths, go for a run, do yoga, something to alleviate it. It is normal to feel anxious....everyone does! It's learning how to manage that anxiety that is important, and again lower those expectations. And allow for some space. It all sounds good though...so far. So good luck, hope it lasts! 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 If your past experience has taught you anything is that there is no one singular answer. Every guy and gal and relationship is different. I'm with Redfisher, what do YOU like?
alphamale Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 If your past experience has taught you anything is that there is no one singular answer. Every guy and gal and relationship is different. I'm with Redfisher, what do YOU like?
alphamale Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 What's with the ? i don't agree with you. there are set rules for dating just like there are for everything else.
katiegrl Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 i don't agree with you. there are set rules for dating just like there are for everything else. So your rigid... okay cool. Doesn't mean everyone is.... I'm certainly not...and wouldn't wish to date a man who was. Just me. 1
Author JiltedJane Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 How old are you? Any kids in the mix? I'm in the 30 - 40's dating range. So think established friends, jobs, routines. Starting out, dates once a week is pretty normal. Transitioning to more frequent as things get more serious. As it texting a bit each day. On the texting thing - everyone is all over the board on that. Some people it is non-stop and others barely at all. I prefer a bit every day myself. We are both in our thirties. No kids. In terms of texting. We have been pretty even with who does the initiating. Because of my hectic schedule, there are some days where its just one "hey hope your having a great day" kind of message and others where we're having a conversation for hours. I do prefer getting at least one message a day so keep connected-with the longer convos in btwn. I'm just unsure with whether or not its normal or healthy.
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