deckard11 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Hello. I'm new to this forum. I joined in hoping to get some answers from women about a few issues I'm having. I'm a 41 year old male who's never been in a relationship. I'm just curious about a few things I've heard regarding women. First, is is true a woman will decide within 5 seconds of meeting a man if she'll have sex with him or not? Second, what does a woman really mean when she tells a guy he is "handsome"? Please feel free to be brutally honest with me in your answers. I'm a grown man and can take it.
StBreton Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Hello. I'm new to this forum. I joined in hoping to get some answers from women about a few issues I'm having. I'm a 41 year old male who's never been in a relationship. I'm just curious about a few things I've heard regarding women. First, is is true a woman will decide within 5 seconds of meeting a man if she'll have sex with him or not? Second, what does a woman really mean when she tells a guy he is "handsome"? Please feel free to be brutally honest with me in your answers. I'm a grown man and can take it. Ok I'll bite. I'm several years older than you and a hetero woman. I can determine within 5 seconds if I'll kiss a guy. It takes many dates to determine if I'll sleep with him ... it's not just about looks or initial attraction...it's about character and personality and compatibility. If those things aren't fitting with me, I won't sleep with a guy...no matter how gorgeous or fit or charismatic etc he is. If a woman tells a man he's handsome, he "does it" for her physically. Another woman may not have the same opinion of a guy so if a particular woman says she thinks a guy is handsome, take it at face value from this person. It doesn't mean she'll want to sleep with said guy just because he's handsome in her eyes...but that depends on the character of a woman. I steer clear of the women who'll sleep with just anyone they think is "handsome." If a woman has told you she thinks you're handsome and is flirty with you, she's giving you signals...jump on that and ask this woman out! Why have you not been in a relationship? Do you have sexual desire for women or are you asexual or just haven't found someone who wants to be in a relationship with you that you feel the same about? 5
Redfisher Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Hello. I'm new to this forum. I joined in hoping to get some answers from women about a few issues I'm having. I'm a 41 year old male who's never been in a relationship. I'm just curious about a few things I've heard regarding women. First, is is true a woman will decide within 5 seconds of meeting a man if she'll have sex with him or not? Second, what does a woman really mean when she tells a guy he is "handsome"? Please feel free to be brutally honest with me in your answers. I'm a grown man and can take it. If you are 41 and never had a girlfriend I think these two questions are the least of your worries...Dude tons of single women who would jump on a good man at 40 yeas old. 2
Author deckard11 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 Ok I'll bite. I'm several years older than you and a hetero woman. I can determine within 5 seconds if I'll kiss a guy. It takes many dates to determine if I'll sleep with him ... it's not just about looks or initial attraction...it's about character and personality and compatibility. If those things aren't fitting with me, I won't sleep with a guy...no matter how gorgeous or fit or charismatic etc he is. If a woman tells a man he's handsome, he "does it" for her physically. Another woman may not have the same opinion of a guy so if a particular woman says she thinks a guy is handsome, take it at face value from this person. It doesn't mean she'll want to sleep with said guy just because he's handsome in her eyes...but that depends on the character of a woman. I steer clear of the women who'll sleep with just anyone they think is "handsome." If a woman has told you she thinks you're handsome and is flirty with you, she's giving you signals...jump on that and ask this woman out! Why have you not been in a relationship? Do you have sexual desire for women or are you asexual or just haven't found someone who wants to be in a relationship with you that you feel the same about? Thank you for the response. Why haven't I been in a relationship? That's the million dollar question. Yes, I do have sexual desire for woman and I am not asexual. I just haven't had any luck with women. I've tried dating sites and that didn't work. A friend tried to set me up with his friend and she never gave me a chance. I think it's due to my appearance. I'm only 5'5 and weigh 250lbs. I don't think I'm attractive either. I often hear the "you're a nice guy" and "any woman would be lucky to have a guy like you" blow off lines from women when I show interest. So I don't know what I'm doing wrong. People are shallow I guess.
Author deckard11 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 If you are 41 and never had a girlfriend I think these two questions are the least of your worries...Dude tons of single women who would jump on a good man at 40 yeas old. Well, I have yet to find one that would even give me a chance.
Toodaloo Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 is is true a woman will decide within 5 seconds of meeting a man if she'll have sex with him or not? Not always - she will decide in that time if he is physically attractive. Then she will talk to him to see if he has brains and personality to match. Often after getting to know a man she will become more physically attracted to him. what does a woman really mean when she tells a guy he is "handsome"? That she thinks he is good looking Its not rocket science...
Cherryz Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 41 no relationships? I thought your question would be about what woman think about that. Cause it sound creepy and weird that you that age and never been in any relationship. How did that happen? On topic: I think generally the last thing on a woman's mind is sex once they meet you. They more into who you are and what you do for living.etc. If you have woman that are looking for sex i think those are a little group that specifically looking to get laid and they will tell you that or behave that way clearly. And woman just mean it as a compliment when they tell you you handsome. there is nothing behind that.
lollipopspot Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 I think it's due to my appearance. I'm only 5'5 and weigh 250lbs. I don't think I'm attractive either. I think trying to lose some weight would really help both your health and appearance. What is preventing it? 1
Author deckard11 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 I think trying to lose some weight would really help both your health and appearance. What is preventing it? Oh I have. I actually went from 300lbs. down to 230lbs. but gained due to some personal issues I was having. Trying to get back to it though. 2
GorillaTheater Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 I think it's due to my appearance. I'm only 5'5 and weigh 250lbs. I don't think I'm attractive either. It likely is a factor, and I'm not telling you anything you don't already know: the height you can work around. It's going to take some women out of the pool, but I know plenty of men that height with SOs. The weight is a problem, however you slice it. I haven't checked any online tables, but I have to imagine that places you in the morbidly obese range. But unless there's an underlying medical condition, and maybe even then, this is something that you have actual control over. It won't be as easy at 41 than it would be at 31, but it can be done and it would be worth hiring a personal trainer and/or nutritionist to accomplish. Beyond the physical, you need to take a hard look at yourself to determine whether you have any personality issues or mannerisms, etc. that you may need to address. 3
Author deckard11 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 41 no relationships? I thought your question would be about what woman think about that. Cause it sound creepy and weird that you that age and never been in any relationship. How did that happen? On topic: I think generally the last thing on a woman's mind is sex once they meet you. They more into who you are and what you do for living.etc. If you have woman that are looking for sex i think those are a little group that specifically looking to get laid and they will tell you that or behave that way clearly. And woman just mean it as a compliment when they tell you you handsome. there is nothing behind that. Well, as I've said I've tried many times to meet women and get in a relationship but they just weren't interested. Not for a lack of trying in my part, that's for sure.
Toodaloo Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Well, as I've said I've tried many times to meet women and get in a relationship but they just weren't interested. Not for a lack of trying in my part, that's for sure. They probably sense your insecurities. Biggest passion killer for women is a lack of confidence. 3
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Thank you for the response. Why haven't I been in a relationship? That's the million dollar question. Yes, I do have sexual desire for woman and I am not asexual. I just haven't had any luck with women. I've tried dating sites and that didn't work. A friend tried to set me up with his friend and she never gave me a chance. I think it's due to my appearance. I'm only 5'5 and weigh 250lbs. I don't think I'm attractive either. I often hear the "you're a nice guy" and "any woman would be lucky to have a guy like you" blow off lines from women when I show interest. So I don't know what I'm doing wrong. People are shallow I guess. Ever heard of the now cancelled show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? All I have to say is if Honey Boo Boo's mom can find men to f*ck her and have children with then anyone can. AND don't forget her toothless troll of a baby daddy, Sugar Bear who apparently cheated on her with another prize of woman. Moral of the story? There's a lid for every pot 2
StBreton Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 If you're wondering if when a woman meets you in particular and determines if she will want to be with you based on your being handsome...just because she thinks you're handsome, it's likely she can't overlook the weight issue. This would be a major turn off for me as yours and my lifestyles are vastly different and I wouldn't want to adapt to your lifestyle ... sorry to be harsh. Maybe double your exercise efforts for the new year and be careful of what foods you put into your body ... if you're a handsome guy and of a more normal weight, those woman who've turned you down before might take a chance on you. The height will be an issue for a lot of woman but not all woman...so work with what you've got and get into shape! 2
Author deckard11 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate the feedback.
Gloria25 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Well, overweight is not just about the bad appearance, it's also unattractive the mentality that goes along with it (lazy, depression, lack of motivation/self-discipline)....and, health issues (joint pain, heart disease, diabetes). I also want a mate to enjou life with. Someone to bike, take walks with, and especially some fun in the bedroom. So, even if you're a great guy with an attractive face, sorry, the overweight issue is gonna blow it for me. But back to your original questions, yes, I know in minutes if I am capable of having sex with a guy when I just meet him, but that doesn't mean I'm going to do it now, a day/week/etc. from now...cuz yes, I wanna know what else is up with him. My last dude wanted to hook up with me in an instant and nope, I'm not down for that right now. Also, I found him attractive from day one, but when he said he was involved with someone else and didn't even remember speaking to me "ever", I lost attraction and interest. I reserve the use of "handsome" with s guy I'm into...other guys get "attractive" until I feel good/close enough to address him as "handsome". "Handsome" to me is sort of a term of endearment. 1
newt Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Ever heard of the now cancelled show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? All I have to say is if Honey Boo Boo's mom can find men to f*ck her and have children with then anyone can. AND don't forget her toothless troll of a baby daddy, Sugar Bear who apparently cheated on her with another prize of woman. Moral of the story? There's a lid for every pot But most men will have sex with any woman who has a pulse so that is not a good example. lol
WomenWubber Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 The problem is you're fat. Plain and simple. Lose the weight and maybe you'll have better luck with women. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 But most men will have sex with any woman who has a pulse so that is not a good example. lol Hmm...shall we test that theory? How many men reading this post would shag Honey Boo Boo's mom? 1
newt Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Hmm...shall we test that theory? How many men reading this post would shag Honey Boo Boo's mom? Definitely not me. lol 3
Divasu Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 It's a yes/no question, because it typical involves intuition which is not a proven science. So, it is a yes/no answer. IMO, yes it has happened for me in the past. I've been fortunate to experience it twice, in different age brackets. Hope that helps.
craw Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 "First, is is true a woman will decide within 5 seconds of meeting a man if she'll have sex with him or not?" Yes and no. Not true. I once met a good looking guy, it didn't even cross my mind that I wanted to sleep with him. I find that "pretty boys" can be very dull. It is only until I converse with him, would I be interested in banging him. It can be true, but its based on lust and no substance. 95% of the time, I've seen a guy and felt like that, it doesn't happen. It's super important about communicating. So many times a guy has liked me and I've had no idea whatsoever. Maybe I haven't felt the same way about him, but there might has been times that I have and missed out the opportunity. 1
hippychick3 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 (edited) I'm curious what types of women you're attempting to date. Are you interested in overweight women who are not physically attractive on the outside but beautiful inside? You may want to expand your options (if you haven't) to have a better chance of a relationship. Regarding your question... handsome is a compliment and meant to mean exactly that. I can tell within 5 minutes if I want to kiss a man but not necessarily if I want to have sex with him. Edited December 10, 2015 by hippychick3
TheArtist Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 I can tell within 5 minutes if I want to kiss a man but not necessarily if I want to have sex with him. That's quite interesting. What is it that makes you decide? Is it the way he looks, the way he holds himself, his confidence, or is it what he says to you?
hippychick3 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 That's quite interesting. What is it that makes you decide? Is it the way he looks, the way he holds himself, his confidence, or is it what he says to you? A combination of all the above. An average looking guy with confidence is really attractive to me if they can make me laugh and have a great personality. However, an extremely good looking guy with no personality does nothing for me. 1
Recommended Posts