Does being too top heavy turn guys off?

[Jndmj22]

I'm just curious. Im like totally too heavy no matter how skinny I am and no matter how fat I am i am always top heavy as badly as I was as a teen though. My shoulders have always been at least 38" nearly 39". Ive always been at least a 32/34C even at my skinniest at like 80 something lbs and really narrow hipped skinny thighs small almost flat butt back then. I'd gain weight and it would basically go upward back breasts tummy even thighs and butt slightly but I'd look like a linebacker sorta with big boobs. And I've always gotten from every guy I've dated was not really physically attracted to my body really besides my breast. I date black men normally that's what I tend to find attractive. Currently I'm curvier I got slightly wider hips my lower half looks like sorta like Britney spears of old only a flatter stomach with H cups that's like the only highlight. It makes me really self conscious currently with guys because with weight I get like extra weight on my back I'm not that heavy I'm not even quite 120 but the way my weight distributes I always get like back fat that's noticeable when I turn. And my lower half really isn't that big to make up for that. I also get an assumption I'm fat or out of shape for this reason. At any weight there's always been kind of an issue with this even when I was underweight because my shoulders would look even bigger. Are guys more like wired to prefer someone who is like pear shaped or hourglass? It never fails the bf I'm with always wants a woman who is more curvy? Advice?

 

Btw this is usually a problem with intimacy mainly. Especially now. Because I appear to sorta have hips and a small waist in clothing it's not until I'm in bed that there's usually a problem. And even then my shoulders are always obviously very big.

Edited December 9, 2015 by Jndmj22

[Buddhist]

Well its hard for anyone to comment because that's your body, it's what it looks like and there really isn't anything you can do about it. You just have to remember that you are not the only woman with that body type and they aren't all single.

 

Same old advice as always, forget what's popular or seen as beautiful and just make peace with you. You will find someone who appreciates you exactly as you are. It's what we all have to do no matter what our body shape is.

[truthtripper]

Accept and love yourself and others will do the same.

[spriggan2]

All you can do is rock it like you're sexy and it will add to your hotness, even in bed. Convince yourself that you're super attractive without being obnoxious about it. Find the outfits that work for you and when you're naked believe you're a huge turn on, and you will be. Honestly, as a guy, when a girl exudes sexual confidence it is a huge boost in most people's eyes, far outweighing an unconventional body type. Very few people fit the BS commercial "beauty" conception.

 

I don't think you have much to worry about.

[StBreton]

I feel better about my body already just reading the responses:) I'm going to follow the advice here..thx posters!

[road]

Having broad shoulders does not mean a woman can not look attractive. In matter of fact having BS and very good posture can only make a woman look better.

 

 

Many men can find a woman with a large front porch and without a back porch still very attractive.

 

 

Having broad shoulders and being fat are two separate issues. Fat is fat and most people are not chubby chasers.

[Redfisher]

You must be younger...Just try and work on yourself and be healthy. Don't worry about silly stuff you can't change and rock what god gave you. You'll meet the right guy and rock is world in the sack and he'll not care about your big shoulders...

[Jndmj22]

Having broad shoulders does not mean a woman can not look attractive. In matter of fact having BS and very good posture can only make a woman look better.

 

 

Many men can find a woman with a large front porch and without a back porch still very attractive.

 

 

Having broad shoulders and being fat are two separate issues. Fat is fat and most people are not chubby chasers.

 

I have a butt when I'm heavier it's not really that it's more shape I guess because my hips are small and my shoulders are bigger I've been compared to like trannies for it sometimes. Idk though it's nothing I can do about it but i never understood like why though?

[Jndmj22]

You must be younger...Just try and work on yourself and be healthy. Don't worry about silly stuff you can't change and rock what god gave you. You'll meet the right guy and rock is world in the sack and he'll not care about your big shoulders...

 

I'm 22 actually

[deckard11]

From what I've seen it's way easier for overweight women to get dates than it is for overweight guys.

[Samhain]

I really couldn't care less as long as I like the person inside the body.

[sportygirl89]

I do cross fit and my arms are naturally bigger, also my thighs change from time to time. If a guy didn't accept me for me being "too big" muscle wise then he's not the guy for me. I can deadlift in the 200#. So that's a lot of weight. I'd rather be safer lifting my patients though.

[Natalie8]

80lbs is extremely low weight..thats about 37kg! Were you a grown up at this point? Anyways, we all distribute fat differently and when we lose fat we lose it unevenly. I have the opposite of your problem..i lose weight from my upper body more and my hips stay wide no matter what.

I think it is very hard to completely change your structure but i imagine if you build your lower body you might feel more 'even'. Maybe talk to a personal trainer at your gym or google this stuff?

[Jndmj22]

From what I've seen it's way easier for overweight women to get dates than it is for overweight guys.

 

 

 

Well I'm not overweight I'm 120 at my heaviest and 5'1". So im at a healthy weight it's just my shape is awkward to some especially from the back because most women have hips that spread out but I'm like straight it's more about how my body structure is weight has helped in the sense that I got a bigger butt but it's just the shape that is the problem. Idk though it was never a problem to me.

[Wewon]

This is going to come down to a matter of types, meaning there is nothing wrong with you but you have to accept that some guy will like it and some won't.

 

I knew a woman that was a redhead, she said that not all guys like her, but the ones that do crush hard. I imagine that the same could be said about everyone to some degree.

[Jndmj22]

80lbs is extremely low weight..thats about 37kg! Were you a grown up at this point? Anyways, we all distribute fat differently and when we lose fat we lose it unevenly. I have the opposite of your problem..i lose weight from my upper body more and my hips stay wide no matter what.

I think it is very hard to completely change your structure but i imagine if you build your lower body you might feel more 'even'. Maybe talk to a personal trainer at your gym or google this stuff?

 

I was 84 lbs and normally I'm about 100 when I eat really healthy I'm like 90 something lbs im 5'1" my body doesn't really like a lot of fat it seems might have to do with my diet I don't eat meat much besides very lean turkey and chicken or fish when I'm super healthy I eat stuff with fat though like avocado a lot though and I am kind of down to the basics. I eat a lot more fatty foods and excessively but that was more to bring up my weight. And finally my bf percentage is 19% normally it's in the male range 12-13%. I'm more interested in renovating a different healthy diet plus wirking out kind of worried my shoulders will get super big I buff up very fast but it would be worth a try I guess. But more for my waistline because it's not as defined. I don't think working out helps with hips more the butt. My butt's not really the problem though. My measurements are like 40-27-36. My waist can be smaller than that at times especially in the morning. But 36" isn't small the problem is that measurement is mostly my butt.

Edited December 14, 2015 by Jndmj22

[Jndmj22]

This is going to come down to a matter of types, meaning there is nothing wrong with you but you have to accept that some guy will like it and some won't.

 

I knew a woman that was a redhead, she said that not all guys like her, but the ones that do crush hard. I imagine that the same could be said about everyone to some degree.

 

Yeah I personally don't like being red headed either I have dyed it darker since its a bit darker than bright red it can look auburn at times I remeber once I dyed it brown kind of like chestnut and my then bf was sad I changed it and preferred me red head. But idk I'm darker skinned so it's kind of weird to me to be all tan yet red headed. I remeber once I was at this study when I was in college who said my hair couldn't possibly be red because my skin can easily tan or something like that.

[Wewon]

Yeah I personally don't like being red headed either I have dyed it darker since its a bit darker than bright red it can look auburn at times I remeber once I dyed it brown kind of like chestnut and my then bf was sad I changed it and preferred me red head. But idk I'm darker skinned so it's kind of weird to me to be all tan yet red headed. I remeber once I was at this study when I was in college who said my hair couldn't possibly be red because my skin can easily tan or something like that.

 

LOL!

 

I didn't realize that you were a redhead. It was just a piece of information that I thought would be helpful.

[Jndmj22]

Well its hard for anyone to comment because that's your body, it's what it looks like and there really isn't anything you can do about it. You just have to remember that you are not the only woman with that body type and they aren't all single.

 

Same old advice as always, forget what's popular or seen as beautiful and just make peace with you. You will find someone who appreciates you exactly as you are. It's what we all have to do no matter what our body shape is.

 

I don't see a lot of women shaped like me tbh. I see women that are like apple shaped. But I'm more like a struggling inverted triangle That's trying to mix with hourglass but fails. I don't see a lot of women that are my shape I do see men that are.

[Jndmj22]

LOL!

 

I didn't realize that you were a redhead. It was just a piece of information that I thought would be helpful.

 

Yeah a coincidence I guess

[truthtripper]

I really couldn't care less as long as I like the person inside the body.

I've fallen in love with men I wasn't physically attracted to. Someone who is comfortable and quietly confident within their own skin is very sexy.

[Buddhist]

I was 84 lbs and normally I'm about 100 when I eat really healthy I'm like 90 something lbs im 5'1" my body doesn't really like a lot of fat it seems might have to do with my diet I don't eat meat much besides very lean turkey and chicken or fish when I'm super healthy I eat stuff with fat though like avocado a lot though and I am kind of down to the basics. I eat a lot more fatty foods and excessively but that was more to bring up my weight. And finally my bf percentage is 19% normally it's in the male range 12-13%. I'm more interested in renovating a different healthy diet plus wirking out kind of worried my shoulders will get super big I buff up very fast but it would be worth a try I guess. But more for my waistline because it's not as defined. I don't think working out helps with hips more the butt. My butt's not really the problem though. My measurements are like 40-27-36. My waist can be smaller than that at times especially in the morning. But 36" isn't small the problem is that measurement is mostly my butt.

 

You have an athletic build, that's just what is. Don't try and get super skinny either. Your are in fertile years your body is going to hold onto a certain amount of fat come hell or high water. That's just what it's designed to do in order to make you fertile. I have an hourglass figure but could not for the life of me hold a decent shape in my twenties. My body stacked it on, my hips and breasts no matter what I ate or did. It wasn't until I turned 30 and my hormones died down that I got a decent shape.

 

Enjoy the fact that you are going to have tiny hips at any size, that you will look great in jeans because of your toned legs and small butt. Rock that aspect. Soften the top half with diaphanous blouses and you're all set. There are advantages and disadvantages to every shape. My body shape is strangely difficult to dress. Too many modern styles look frumpy on me and I can only wear 1 cut of jeans, despite the fact I'm a US size 2. We all have our challenges and plenty of men don't find my body type attractive at all, luckily I only care about the ones that do.

[Buddhist]

I don't see a lot of women shaped like me tbh. I see women that are like apple shaped. But I'm more like a struggling inverted triangle That's trying to mix with hourglass but fails. I don't see a lot of women that are my shape I do see men that are.

 

I know the body shape, it's quite common among Indian women actually. I work with lots of young women and while it isn't the most common shape out there, it's not all that rare either. Don't worry you're in good company.

[Jndmj22]

Yeah inverted triangle is supposed to be athletic I think it's also called swimmer's body type due to the shoulders. I don't like the how to dress advice too much because my waist is usually the one thing trying help me look more proportioned especially when I was thinner but much of the advice talks about detracting attention to this area. I like the advice on the best jeans though. I think small hips look nice in any jeans the thing is my hips aren't small they're just straight but many jeans do help now especially since my hips have gotten wider over time.

 

 

As far as that goes I think something may be biologically different about me. My body doesn't need much weight to stay fertile. I started my period below 50 lbs so did my mom. Through my mom's mom I'm black American and Russian. so it might have to do with the history of producing at a lower weight due to harder conditions.

 

I didn't know that had to do with hormones. I always gain on my breasts like a cup every 5 lbs as long as it's not water. I don't try to be very thin it's actually my goal to be bigger but i just have a high metabolism. I don't mind gaining fat I like it actually it's just my bone structure really. I tend to bulk up easy so like I said I guess that's my best solution I feel I've gained as much weight as I could without looking Apple shaped completely. Also I'm kind of interested in waist training and know a place near my job for that.

 

 

I am going to set a goal of the measurements I want through working out and once I get there I'll work out the worst.

 

Yeah so guys are really literally more breasts guys so as long as I'm slimmer I'm their type just never has happened with a guy I actually dated for a long time.

 

You have an athletic build, that's just what is. Don't try and get super skinny either. Your are in fertile years your body is going to hold onto a certain amount of fat come hell or high water. That's just what it's designed to do in order to make you fertile. I have an hourglass figure but could not for the life of me hold a decent shape in my twenties. My body stacked it on, my hips and breasts no matter what I ate or did. It wasn't until I turned 30 and my hormones died down that I got a decent shape.

 

Enjoy the fact that you are going to have tiny hips at any size, that you will look great in jeans because of your toned legs and small butt. Rock that aspect. Soften the top half with diaphanous blouses and you're all set. There are advantages and disadvantages to every shape. My body shape is strangely difficult to dress. Too many modern styles look frumpy on me and I can only wear 1 cut of jeans, despite the fact I'm a US size 2. We all have our challenges and plenty of men don't find my body type attractive at all, luckily I only care about the ones that do.

[Jndmj22]

I know the body shape, it's quite common among Indian women actually. I work with lots of young women and while it isn't the most common shape out there, it's not all that rare either. Don't worry you're in good company.

 

Yeah I'm not Indian. My dad is Irish and french and my mom's Russian African American and Swedish descent. Abigail ratchford is like the closest I've seen of white girls with a shape at all similar to mine which is hard to see with all the photo shop. I've never seen anyone in real life though. Do you mean Indian as native or East Indian?