circlesinfinity Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 I am definitely not an unattractive woman. The thing is I used a fake profile to get attention from men (not my proudest moment). I told myself if I did this, that I would tell any truly interested man that this a "for fun" profile and the girl was not me. The guy that got interested in me said to send him a friend request from my profile which was fine. I told him before that he doesn't understand and that I have issues with the opposite sex...and at the very lease he gets attention. Of course he didn't accept my request, lol. What else is it then! Oh well, just needed to vent. I found something to heal my confidence.
Karine26 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 What do you think it is about the way you look?
Buddhist Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 To be fair, if you are capturing men online who are interested in the girl in the picture, why would they be interested in you when you are not her? You're just setting yourself up for failure. Let's say you are an attractive african woman, but you've posted a picture of an asian woman. Yeah it's a no brainer as to why the interest suddenly disappears when they discover you are not only different, but probably completely outside of their preferences too. People are allowed to have preferences, so you need to be honest about who you are so you can garner the attention of people who are interested in you, not the random woman you've posted a picture of. 2
Versacehottie Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 I don't think this is a good idea. It's not cool to be dishonest. Plus it could backfire on YOU. Let's say you started falling for a guy but then you have to explain you are not who he thinks you are and he's off you. It happens all the time. I think I've read a few threads on here about that. Sometimes they don't want you because you've lied about a DETAIL about your life not something as major as presenting a photo that is not you. Unfortunately, it doesn't matter if fake you is a 9 and real you is a 9. People have different preferences and what you look like in the photo that you are using vs what you look like have differences. It is so subjective and subtle why someone appeals romantically lookswise and why someone doesn't. Not really fair of you to thing you can manipulate that or play puppetmaster. I have a great looking group of girlfriends and who guys we have met are attracted to when we go out is not predictable. I would say they are all about the same level of prettiness and it is very high--but it certainly doesn't mean it's interchangeable. Some of them even look similar enough and it doesn't mean they pull the same guys. Haven't you ever discussed this with guys??Even regarding universally agreed upon beautiful actresses, some guys will agree she is beautiful but not be ATTRACTED to her. I know I do that in reverse about some of the best looking actors. My advice is stop wasting your and other peoples time. Just be honest. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain: someone who likes you for exactly who you are. 5
PegNosePete Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 What else is it then! Lying is an instant deal-breaker to almost any decent guy out there. Using this "fake profile" strategy will eliminate any decent guy from your dating pool. The only ones left will be the ones who just want sex with a woman of any description. Is that who you want to date? 4
ExpatInItaly Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Lying from the outset is a terrible idea. I wouldn't continue talking to someone who was so dishonest either. 2
kendahke Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Why are you ashamed of how you look? Do you feel that you aren't lovable because of exterior packaging? I would tell any truly interested man that this a "for fun" profile and the girl was not me. No decent guy is going to think being lied to from the outset is fun.
loveweary11 Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 I carefully vet anyone I meet online requiring them to prove it's actually them in some non intrusive way. That Playboy model? I video chatted with her. Lots of real pics and meeting up quickly works too. Nobody is going to put up with someone who is dishonest from the start.
kendahke Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 I told him before that he doesn't understand and that I have issues with the opposite sex... Of course he didn't accept my request, lol. Can you blame him? If some guy told me he has issues with women, I'd take a pass on him, too, even if he was the finest looking man on the planet. 1
TheTraveler Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 The thing is I used a fake profile to get attention from men (not my proudest moment). People on the internets, don't do this. This is gross.
Timshel Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Cool for coming clean and you have taken the fakey down now.....yes?
Author circlesinfinity Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 Cool for coming clean and you have taken the fakey down now.....yes? Of course
Author circlesinfinity Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 Can you blame him? If some guy told me he has issues with women, I'd take a pass on him, too, even if he was the finest looking man on the planet. I should've went into more detail with that statement. I mean issues as far as attracting them, that's all.
cichlid Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 If you are not an unattractive women than why waste your time and someone else's with fakery? Take your best pictures, have a friend screen them and pick the best ones and go meet someone for real. Time is valuable, don't waste it.
Author circlesinfinity Posted December 9, 2015 Author Posted December 9, 2015 I don't think this is a good idea. It's not cool to be dishonest. Plus it could backfire on YOU. Let's say you started falling for a guy but then you have to explain you are not who he thinks you are and he's off you. It happens all the time. I think I've read a few threads on here about that. Sometimes they don't want you because you've lied about a DETAIL about your life not something as major as presenting a photo that is not you. Unfortunately, it doesn't matter if fake you is a 9 and real you is a 9. People have different preferences and what you look like in the photo that you are using vs what you look like have differences. It is so subjective and subtle why someone appeals romantically lookswise and why someone doesn't. Not really fair of you to thing you can manipulate that or play puppetmaster. I have a great looking group of girlfriends and who guys we have met are attracted to when we go out is not predictable. I would say they are all about the same level of prettiness and it is very high--but it certainly doesn't mean it's interchangeable. Some of them even look similar enough and it doesn't mean they pull the same guys. Haven't you ever discussed this with guys??Even regarding universally agreed upon beautiful actresses, some guys will agree she is beautiful but not be ATTRACTED to her. I know I do that in reverse about some of the best looking actors. My advice is stop wasting your and other peoples time. Just be honest. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain: someone who likes you for exactly who you are. I said if it went too far that I was going to delete it. I am not wasting time at lease they didn't act like they were going to pee on themselves while interacting with me. I'm not sure about that scale thing some random *sshole on a public forum called me a 6 before and people have said I should model.
Versacehottie Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 I said if it went too far that I was going to delete it. I am not wasting time at lease they didn't act like they were going to pee on themselves while interacting with me. I'm not sure about that scale thing some random *sshole on a public forum called me a 6 before and people have said I should model. IMO and I think most people's, as soon as you are duping them it's gone too far, ie the moment you post a fake profile. Puppetmaster with other people's lives. Not cool. So you are between a 6 and a 9 or 10. So? And? It's still deception if you are not the girl in the profile picture. You are wasting people's time from the jump.
losangelena Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 I said if it went too far that I was going to delete it. I am not wasting time at lease they didn't act like they were going to pee on themselves while interacting with me. I'm not sure about that scale thing some random *sshole on a public forum called me a 6 before and people have said I should model. Beauty is subjective. A lot of unconventionally attractive people partner up; you could look like a bridge troll and eventually find someone. So, I'm not sure your looks are the problem. Could be maybe the bait and switch, though. 1
shoplocal Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Were you actually responding to messages sent to this profile??? Not to dump on you, but please don't feel like you need to put up fake photos to attract men online. Not because it won't work, but because it sends the message to your self-esteem/ego that you're not good enough for anyone *as you are*. And that's a terrible message to internalize.
Versacehottie Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Beauty is subjective. A lot of unconventionally attractive people partner up; you could look like a bridge troll and eventually find someone. So, I'm not sure your looks are the problem. Could be maybe the bait and switch, though. Yes indicates character issues--which surprise, surprise guys care about too.
Mjm1014 Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 I defiantly feel this is a topic I should chime in for and offer my two cents.. A few years ago when I had a OKcupid account, I "met" a very attractive girl on there. We exchanged numbers and talked on the phone a ton. Long story short she would always cancel on dates last minute with some random excuse, but I was dumb and I talked to her anyways and always made excuses for her and understood she was busy. After 4-5 months of talking on the phone and not meeting up once, I cut contact with her. About a year after I cut contact I found out that she stole pictures from some girls Facebook (all I had to do was copy and paste her phone number into the search bar). I was so upset and I called the girl out on it and asked her why she led me on for so long and lied to me. Like you, she said she wasn't confident in her looks, and that her "joke account" let her get to know me, and that she started having feelings for me, but she was scared to tell me the truth. In the end, she sent me a real picture of herself and added me on snapchat and omg I was blown away how gorgeous she was....problem is I lost all respect for her and knew I would never be able to trust someone like that. Don't be like her...just because you may not be comfortable the way you look doesn't mean other people will feel the same way, trust me. Good luck!!!!! Be yourself and you'll be just fine in the dating world. 1
Samhain Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 It's easy enough to image search a pic and see if you stole it from somewhere or someone. Even if you are a good looking person and nice, most people who initially engaged you wouldn't want to go any further because you lied, not because of how you look. 1
Author circlesinfinity Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 I defiantly feel this is a topic I should chime in for and offer my two cents.. A few years ago when I had a OKcupid account, I "met" a very attractive girl on there. We exchanged numbers and talked on the phone a ton. Long story short she would always cancel on dates last minute with some random excuse, but I was dumb and I talked to her anyways and always made excuses for her and understood she was busy. After 4-5 months of talking on the phone and not meeting up once, I cut contact with her. About a year after I cut contact I found out that she stole pictures from some girls Facebook (all I had to do was copy and paste her phone number into the search bar). I was so upset and I called the girl out on it and asked her why she led me on for so long and lied to me. Like you, she said she wasn't confident in her looks, and that her "joke account" let her get to know me, and that she started having feelings for me, but she was scared to tell me the truth. In the end, she sent me a real picture of herself and added me on snapchat and omg I was blown away how gorgeous she was....problem is I lost all respect for her and knew I would never be able to trust someone like that. Don't be like her...just because you may not be comfortable the way you look doesn't mean other people will feel the same way, trust me. Good luck!!!!! Be yourself and you'll be just fine in the dating world. Wow, thank you so much for sharing this! I am very sorry that happened to you. I think I should just focus in on myself and find out if there is a deeper meaning behind why I feel down at times. I am just glad I told the guy. He was very handsome and I used to think about him often...I definitely have closed the account. I know if anything is meant for me it will happen. 2
Author circlesinfinity Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 What do you think it is about the way you look? I've been trying to figure this out since I've started dating. I will never know if there is a problem or not. I just will 'adorn' myself as people say.
Woggle Posted December 12, 2015 Posted December 12, 2015 I am sure you look good but if you portray yourself as one thing then they find out you are something else then I can understand why they want to walk.
Author circlesinfinity Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 To be fair, if you are capturing men online who are interested in the girl in the picture, why would they be interested in you when you are not her? You're just setting yourself up for failure. Let's say you are an attractive african woman, but you've posted a picture of an asian woman. Yeah it's a no brainer as to why the interest suddenly disappears when they discover you are not only different, but probably completely outside of their preferences too. People are allowed to have preferences, so you need to be honest about who you are so you can garner the attention of people who are interested in you, not the random woman you've posted a picture of. Please don't take this the wrong way but did you see that part of my post when I said if anyone got interested I would close it? Also I was not looking for anything...I wanted to interact with men, I didn't go there to find anyone. I just wanted to chat and ask questions about love, relationships...etc. I want them to talk to me, they don't even talk on social media. I know, I should just remain honest but I really need that interaction with men. The only man I've every truly been around is my brother and very, very few dates. Why don't men just be friends with me? This is all I want.... I'm getting sick of this! I mean they make me feel like I'm asking them to marry me or something...WTF:/
Recommended Posts