Do you ever feel the need to tell single women in their mid-20's to find a man?

December 9, 2015

I see alot of single women in their mid-20's-a few that have never been married/or have no kids, I think to myself..well, they are in their "prime" 22-28- and shouldn't someone tell them that now that they are that age-still young and attractive that they need to start dating/finding that life long partner before they turn 35 and its too late? Think about it, their biological clock is ticking, and by the time they hit 35-their will be no men available. I'm 34 and old, I'm past my prime-my biological clock has already been ticked and at my age-dating sucks. They still have opportunities because they are young, people telling single 35 year old women-how they need to find a man, because its too late-is pitiful to hear.

December 9, 2015

Are you serious, really?

I would NEVER do that. A woman's reproductive, marriage and life choices are absolutely none of my business. If a woman never wants to bear a child or be married that is her choice. Welcome to 2015.

I am sorry you feel past your prime at 34. I am a couple of years older than you and I feel like I am hitting my prime. I have things now to offer a man and a relationship that were absent 10 -15 years ago. I have lived a life rich with experience, tasted amazing food, seen wonderful places, met amazing people who changed my views. What man wouldn't want that? Not one I would want to consider wasting my time with. I learned that at the age you think women should get married. I spent my money on my life, not a wedding and possible divorce.

I think it is time you re-evaluated your self worth.

December 9, 2015

No, I never have.

Though, I have been known to tell several women (and men) of all ages, that they DO need to get laid...

...but it has NOthing to do with them needing to procreate before time runs out.

December 9, 2015

Someone forgot to tell the guys I'm dating that I'm past my prime. Quick, send them the memo!

December 9, 2015

As a woman approaching my 40's, your "prime" age for marriage (mid-late 20's), IMO, has more to do with our biological need to reproduce rather than what value a woman has.

In your 20s you're producing better eggs. You're young to stay up all nite and run around with kids...it gets harder with age.

So, if there's a man out there who isn't relying solely on following his basic need to reproduce when it comes to seeking an actual partner, I and other women have more to offer than a "uterus" in her 20s.

That's why I am looking for a man who got his "baby rabies" out of his system and is looking for a woman to actually "enjoy" life with.

Edited December 9, 2015 by Gloria25

December 9, 2015

As a woman approaching my 40's, your "prime" age for marriage (mid-late 20's), IMO, has more to do with our biological need to reproduce rather than what value a woman has.

In your 20s you're producing better eggs. You're young to stay up all nite and run around with kids...it gets harder with age.

So, if there's a man out there who isn't relying solely on following his basic need to reproduce when it comes to seeking an actual partner, I and other women have more to offer than a "uterus" in her 20s.

That's why I am looking for a man who got his "baby rabies" out of his system and is looking for a woman to actually "enjoy" life with.

but women can still have babies at 40, right? It's not too late?

so we shouldn't have children after 40?

December 9, 2015

My mom had me in her 40s. Don't think she was unattractive or past her age :lmao:

Ah... so sick of these generalizations.

but women can still have babies at 40, right? It's not too late?

so we shouldn't have children after 40?

My OB-GYN in NY told me most her pregnant clients in their HUGE practice are in their 40s. Welcome to 2015 indeed.

I'm 34 and old, I'm past my prime-my biological clock has already been ticked and at my age-dating sucks.

Edited December 9, 2015 by edgygirl

December 9, 2015

My mom had me in her 40s. Don't think she was unattractive or past her age :lmao:

Ah... so sick of these generalizations.

My OB-GYN in NY told me most her pregnant clients in their HUGE practice are in their 40s. Welcome to 2015 indeed.

what a relief! I was under the impression, women at 40s probably have problem have healthy and smart children if they can have children at all. but you definitely seem smart, so...

December 9, 2015

Of course it's usually easier to have children in your 20s, and both men and women biologically can have more issues having children later in life. But to say things like "past their age", "unattractive" or whatnot... seems a little narrow-minded to me.

what a relief! I was under the impression, women at 40s probably have problem have healthy and smart children if they can have children at all. but you definitely seem smart, so...

December 9, 2015

but women can still have babies at 40, right? It's not too late?

so we shouldn't have children after 40?

Yes we can, but it isn't ideal...there's more risks.

I believe that our mating habits are driven by biology in a large part. Men are gonna get hornies for younger women not just cuz they don't have sagging boobs, but at are their healthiest (prime) for reproduction.

December 9, 2015

Yes we can, but it isn't ideal...there's more risks.

I believe that our mating habits are driven by biology in a large part. Men are gonna get hornies for younger women not just cuz they don't have sagging boobs, but at are their healthiest (prime) for reproduction.

So if you like children, are you going to take the risk or not?

you sure younger women don't have sagging boobs? some seem do have. I am much older, I have yet to notice any sagging.

just a couple days ago, an elderly man chatted me up at the star buck. I let him guess my age and he said 21. I thought he probably just lying to me. so I asked him again later, and he said 'I already told you'. He is not the only one who said I am in my 20s, so guess he didn't lie to me. so he asked me what is my real age. I dare not to tell him to double his guess, just in case he will have a heart attacked:p but deep down I know some parts of me physically are not the same anymore:(

does it mean I have a better chance than women my age?

December 9, 2015

what a relief! I was under the impression, women at 40s probably have problem have healthy and smart children if they can have children at all. but you definitely seem smart, so...

My mom was nearing 40 when she had two babies 14 months apart. This was in the late 70s. My brother is very intelligent and mechanically inclined. I have graduated college with two degrees with honors and I am working on my masters and I have made straight A's.

All of this without the really amazing technology that exits almost 40 years later.

Just food for thought.

December 9, 2015

Wow. Well, I can't speak to having babies after 40 (already had mine much younger) but after my divorce at age 40, I didn't have any difficulty dating quality men. I was able to get a date every day of the week if I wanted to before I met my boyfriend....didn't spend a single childless weekend alone unless I chose to do so.

After spending many years in a bad marriage, I feel like my prime started at age 40.

December 9, 2015

Wow. Well, I can't speak to having babies after 40 (already had mine much younger) but after my divorce at age 40, I didn't have any difficulty dating quality men. I was able to get a date every day of the week if I wanted to before I met my boyfriend....didn't spend a single childless weekend alone unless I chose to do so.

After spending many years in a bad marriage, I feel like my prime started at age 40.

Really? maybe because you are super hot and you live in a big city.

When I browsed online, most 40 men don't want a 40 woman. Maybe you meet men in real life? it does seem real life is easier for me.

December 9, 2015

Really? maybe because you are super hot and you live in a big city.

When I browsed online, most 40 men don't want a 40 woman. Maybe you meet men in real life? it does seem real life is easier for me.

I do live in a big city and look very young for my age. I met men in real life and online. I was on a paid online dating site (never used the free ones) and was inundated with messages from men of all ages. I am sure there were many who had no interest in me because of my age, but there were plenty of those who did.

December 9, 2015

Quite the contrary Bobbi. I was in my early 20's when I got married and mid-20's when I had my kid. Now I'm pushing 40 and starting all over for a career. I tell the 20-somethings to take their time, date around, have fun! I don't regret getting married or having my child, but I'd push motherhood back a few years if I had it all over to do again.

December 9, 2015

Quite the contrary Bobbi. I was in my early 20's when I got married and mid-20's when I had my kid. Now I'm pushing 40 and starting all over for a career. I tell the 20-somethings to take their time, date around, have fun! I don't regret getting married or having my child, but I'd push motherhood back a few years if I had it all over to do again.

You see, your experience ^^ is what I sometimes wish I did, because as you see, in your 40's you can go back to working on a career now that you got kids out of the way in your 20's and I wish more women would "get" that instead of dumping off their kids in daycare and losing those precious moments raising them, watching their first steps, etc - just to go and be another "worker bee" when you can pick up being a "worker bee" later, when the kids get school aged and/or up and out of the home.

Well, actually, I did think that - sorta...

At the height of my "feminism/man hating" I was still in the Army, 20's, making good money and decided I was gonna have a kid without a man, cuz all men are jerks and I could do a better job raising my kid myself. I don't know when/how/why, but I woke up one day and realized that was insane. I really haven't seriously thought about having a kid since.

December 9, 2015

You see, your experience ^^ is what I sometimes wish I did, because as you see, in your 40's you can go back to working on a career now that you got kids out of the way in your 20's and I wish more women would "get" that instead of dumping off their kids in daycare and losing those precious moments raising them, watching their first steps, etc - just to go and be another "worker bee" when you can pick up being a "worker bee" later, when the kids get school aged and/or up and out of the home.

Well, actually, I did think that - sorta...

At the height of my "feminism/man hating" I was still in the Army, 20's, making good money and decided I was gonna have a kid without a man, cuz all men are jerks and I could do a better job raising my kid myself. I don't know when/how/why, but I woke up one day and realized that was insane. I really haven't seriously thought about having a kid since.

I know that is a choice that many women make and I respect it. However, I want the man who helped make that baby to be taking his turn changing poopy diapers in the middle of the night.

December 9, 2015

I know that is a choice that many women make and I respect it. However, I want the man who helped make that baby to be taking his turn changing poopy diapers in the middle of the night.

But see, it's not about "taking turns with that kid"...My fav podcaster actually, even having her son late 30's and still a feminist, designed a regimented "list" of what he and she were to do with caring for the baby...She said she felt so bad about it, that she'd sneak more time with her son to just be around him.

I don't want a man to be around to do his "share" of chores and bills when it comes to our children...I want a man, because ideally, a child needs both the love, care, and attention from both a father and a mother for proper development. Also, the joy from raising our child is also for him. I want my man around to see our kid's first steps, tooth falling out, day at school, etc. I watch my brother hold his kids and realize that while men sometimes fear stuff like dropping a kid, they look forward to experiencing the same joys women do with kids - above just "changing diapers at 3AM cuz it's his turn".

By me, wanting to have a kid without a dad - that would be unfair to that child and the child's father. Ever see kids one parent down? It's a big loss both emotionally, psychologically, and financially for the child....Ever see the impact of a father not having involvement and connection with his kids? (well, unless he's a deadbeat like my dad)

December 9, 2015

I'm in my late 20's and have been single for about 8 months. I thought for sure my ex was the one I was going to marry. Yet he wasn't.

I don't want kids so that biological clock argument doesn't work for me.

I'm not desperate to find someone to have children with because, like I said, I don't want kids.

I am not attractive to people, so when & if I find someone that wants to be with me, then great. I'm sure not gonna rush things.

December 9, 2015

But see, it's not about "taking turns with that kid"...My fav podcaster actually, even having her son late 30's and still a feminist, designed a regimented "list" of what he and she were to do with caring for the baby...She said she felt so bad about it, that she'd sneak more time with her son to just be around him.

I don't want a man to be around to do his "share" of chores and bills when it comes to our children...I want a man, because ideally, a child needs both the love, care, and attention from both a father and a mother for proper development. Also, the joy from raising our child is also for him. I want my man around to see our kid's first steps, tooth falling out, day at school, etc. I watch my brother hold his kids and realize that while men sometimes fear stuff like dropping a kid, they look forward to experiencing the same joys women do with kids - above just "changing diapers at 3AM cuz it's his turn".

By me, wanting to have a kid without a dad - that would be unfair to that child and the child's father. Ever see kids one parent down? It's a big loss both emotionally, psychologically, and financially for the child....Ever see the impact of a father not having involvement and connection with his kids? (well, unless he's a deadbeat like my dad)

I completely agree with you.

For me, I still want a poopy diaper partner. I want someone to share the bad and the good to be the voice of reason when I am losing my stuff, and for me to offer the same support. Kids will wear you down, you have to have all the foundation you can get.

December 9, 2015

No, I wouldn't tell a woman in her mid-20s to find a man as quickly as possible.

Honestly, I rarely run across decent guys with morals so telling her to speed things up in hopes of getting married and having children is, frankly, quite stupid and very destructive. After all, kids is a handful. You need a guy to be there for you and for the child in question and to find such a guy that you are attracted to will take time.

I rather tell her to take her time and enjoy life the best that she can while keeping her eye out for guys that interests her. Lastly, never drop her standards.

December 9, 2015

I've told both men and women not to waste their youth on stupid shyte... I think we have too many people on the planet as it is....

I think we need to be telling more men that they have a bio clock too. It's not a good idea for either gender to be parenting past 40 ish.

December 9, 2015

If she asked I would tell a woman in her 20s my story which is that I waited to find love & to have kids but I waited too long, in my 40s to try & then it was too late.

But to invalidate somebody because they are not part of a couple is just wrong.

December 9, 2015

I tell young women in their 20s they're too young and got too much more living and self-exploration to do to tie themselves down. I tell them the part of their brains that can anticipate consequences of their actions aren't fully formed until their mid-twenties and that just about any cliff-jumping decisions they make before then, they are likely to regret. I tell them that before they find a man, they first need to live on their own, paying their own bills for a couple of years because until you have lived without the influence of others you are dependent on or under the influence even of roommates and friends, you do not yet know yourself or your potential or what you're like without anyone else around. You do not yet know that you will survive on your own if your man cheats or beats you.

No, I don't advise most young people to give up the best years of their lives to someone else just quite yet. There's plenty of time for that.

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Do you ever feel the need to tell single women in their mid-20's to find a man?

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