nightoul Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 (edited) So I met this girl a month ago in a tram, she was cute and carrying a violin. I play music so I asked her if she wanted to do some violin parts for me she said yes and gave her number. We met for a rehearsal, then for a first date. Especially the second date went good (at least in my opinion), we went to see a movie and had some beers afterwards. We quickly kissed. The next day I texted her about the third date (a stage play), she said yes and we went yesterday. However, I suggested going somewhere afterwards but now she said she had to go home do some schoolwork. So I walked her home and we kissed the second time upon saying bye. Altogether, she never texts first and only sometimes texts back early (sometimes it takes hours). She also said on our second date that she "hates people". I can understand that perhaps she's just fearful etc. but I also worry she might be playing games with me. At first she was a bit more friendly and in texts (emoticons is what I mean by that), now again less so. I know you don't have all the information so you maybe cannot say but what do you think she's doing and should I stop chasing her now at least for some time? So far my last words were "so I guess we'll text again, okay, bye", kiss Edited December 8, 2015 by nightoul
d0nnivain Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 If she's kissing you she is not all that cold. I think you can still spend time with her but it make take a while to break through her walls / defenses.
xcupid Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 Sounds like she could be inexperienced with relationships. So her "coldness" could be from lack of experience. If she's texting and going out with you then carry on and continue to woo her.
Author nightoul Posted February 1, 2016 Author Posted February 1, 2016 Hey, so it's been a while and she eventually started texting me too. We went out many times since then, had some beers and ended up kissing goodbye for some minutes every time after that. We started hanging out during the day too. Kissed upon meeting and saying goodbye regularly. However, it's been very difficult to open her up talking about other stuff than just normal stuff and what did you do yesterday stuff. A few days back I told her that I think we still don't know each other and that I just don't know how to get her talking about other more personal stuff too. I'm a bit less talkative too by the way but don't really have problem with it when I see response and good "attitude". So she said she understands but doesn't know.. perhaps she's "shut because she feels like it's not it. sometimes you know something feels meant to be and I don't have that feeling now". I said among other things that I don't really think it's going to change and she said "hm.. but I wanted to give it a chance". We're still communicating but she's at home now and will come back after a few days. I don't know what to do to be honest. I already said I can't wait forever so I need her to tell me in time if it's not gonna work and she said of course. But still I just don't know what she wants. thanks for any advice!
Justanaverageguy Posted February 1, 2016 Posted February 1, 2016 My advice - Never wait around to be a girls "maybe". If you have seen her for quite a period of time and she said it doesn't feel right .... believe her. Hanging around while she puts you on standby and thinks it over only serves to make you look desperate and needy - reducing the chances you did have of possibly making things work out. People have more respect and are attracted to people who value themselves highly. Be friendly and polite but tell her that if it doesn't feel right you are moving on and do it.
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