smackie9 Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 That doesnt explain why. You are picking the wrong guys to date. These guys don't respect women or you, that's why. Your picker is off or you don't have gut instinct to pick up on that they are a slimeball. 3
Gaeta Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Just fyi, sometimes its a girl nearby sometimes its a girl on tv or on tbe web. The worst was when i was on a date, and the guy brought his friend. I think he didnt want to look soft. That being said, these guys seem almost oblivious to what theyre doing. If you have just known each other and you are on a date that is totally unacceptable and they deserve being dump right there and then. If you are in an established relationship then Depends how it's done. If he points to me a woman and says she's attractive I will agree with him, yes she is very attractive. If he points to me a woman and says he'd totally 'do that' then he's a moron that needs to be dumped. 1
RecentChange Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 (edited) Hot potato, Please don't take this the wrong way, but the theme I get from your threads is that you need to learn you deserve better. And in my opinion, that will come when you become more secure with yourself. Not so "nice" people, either consciously or subconsciously tend to gravitate towards the insecure, as they won't stand up agaibst subpar treatment. Put yourself FIRST, and eventually you will find a guy that wants to keep you up on that pedestal. Edited December 8, 2015 by RecentChange 3
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 I think it's normal for guys to look but to comment! errrgh that is sooooo shady and disrespectful and comment to you!? are they trying to get a reaction out of you? If you allow men to walk all over you like this, they'll next up be acting on their impulses and not just commenting " hey that girl is hot". Next time, you'll come home with someone's bra and knickers on the floor that you don't recognize as being your own. Set the bar higher than what it is at the moment. Don't tolerate this level of disrespect. 1
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Just fyi, sometimes its a girl nearby sometimes its a girl on tv or on tbe web. The worst was when i was on a date, and the guy brought his friend. I think he didnt want to look soft. That being said, these guys seem almost oblivious to what theyre doing. Oh my god a guy brought a guy friend to a date? what the ****? Next time bring your mom to your dates. My god, you're dating the weirdest people no offense. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 That doesnt explain why. No, for only you can explain "why..." The answer to the other question is the same as that offered by Molly Ringwald when Ally Sheedy inquired: "Why are you being so nice to me?" A: "Because you're letting me" 1
RedRobin Posted December 9, 2015 Posted December 9, 2015 I will just echo what the others said... Me personally, my time is precious. If a guy is ogling other women on my time, I won't spend time with him. To me, it's no different than being with someone who is always checking their phone, or really... Distracted by anything. If he doesn't want to be there, then send him packing... It's not like he can't ogle on his own time... But if he's on my clock? Oh hell no. 3
Author hotpotato Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 Oh my god a guy brought a guy friend to a date? what the ****? Next time bring your mom to your dates. My god, you're dating the weirdest people no offense. Oh, you havent seen ny other thread. :lol: Back to topic, it really just seemed like they were oblivious. The guy who brought his friend only acted like that around the friend. 1
PegNosePete Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 it really just seemed like they were oblivious. Make them aware that their behaviour is rude and disrespectful, by following the advice I gave in the first reply. 1
Jimmysss Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 we tend to do that, because we are biologically different than women. If we go unpunished with it, we will keep doing it, because we see no big deal about it, and we do not think that might offend you. We love to look at other girls sometimes, and that's the way we function, and think it's ok... it could be a problem or it doesn't have to be. I know booth couples that this is problem, and that isn't. Quality of relationship (from my experience) is not tied with it, but with many other things.
winny Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Guys do this sometimes to make you jealous and get a reaction out of you and sometimes just coz they are douchebags. My reaction is generally a very cool - oh yeah she is hot... why dont u go n talk to her i will wait here. Or I point to some other guy and say.. wow even that guy is very hot. That shuts them off. 2
StBreton Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 ogling other girls in front of me I have a question...Why on earth do guys do this? The guy isn't afraid of losing you...he doesn't care how you fell. You are inconsequential to him...and he doesn't know how to behave in a relationship...meaning, if he feels this way about a woman, it's time to move on. Or The guy lacks decorum/proper social skills. In either case, I'd be gone. Life is too short for this behavior. Isn't your new bf like 50 yrs old? Is he the one who's doing this? 1
hasaquestion Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 I have a question...Why on earth do guys do this? it's not just my current bf, but other guys I've dated have done this stuff. Why do some guys seem so comfortable discussing other women in front of me? I've had guys go on about someone else's body before. It's like their oblivious. I don't do this to them. Forgive me, if I ever did. These dudes will be close to slobbering. I would be careful to read into the ogling part. A lot of men just don't know how to check people out surreptitiously. You could have a bf who checks out every girl who passes by and not notice just as easily as you could have a bf who is just bad at getting away with it when he does. The discussing other women is another matter. That is out of bounds.
ManyDissapoint Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 I have a question...Why on earth do guys do this? it's not just my current bf, but other guys I've dated have done this stuff. Why do some guys seem so comfortable discussing other women in front of me? I've had guys go on about someone else's body before. It's like their oblivious. I don't do this to them. Forgive me, if I ever did. These dudes will be close to slobbering. Can you give an example of such ogling? Ogling is not nearly as bad as having orbiters in my opinion. I have been around enough women who go crazy jealous at the drop of hat not to side with you blindly on this.
smackie9 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 simple.....you are attracted to that cocky, self entitled, I don't give a crap type of personality. Possibly you mistaken it as being "charming", and find it exciting/flattering/makes you feel special that they chose you. Them ogling other women just makes them seem more challenging/desirable. Change this pattern by changing your picker. 1
pteromom Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 - He values women mainly for their looks and believes objectifying them is fine. - He WANTS you to feel insecure, because insecure women are less likely to leave and it puts him into a position of power in the relationship. - He is completely oblivious about how disrespectful it is and how it might make you feel. - He doesn't realize that women highly value being CHERISHED. - He has no filter. He sees a beautiful woman, and just says what he is thinking. - He thinks of you as more of a buddy, and talks to you like he does his other buddies. - He has an extremely low EQ. - He just doesn't really care how you are feeling about it. - He is hoping you like hot chicks too, because he has a serious threesome fantasy. Take your pick of any or all of the above. But it is your responsibility to tell him the FIRST TIME it happens that you don't like it. And this can be done in a very kind way. "You know when that woman walked past us and you commented that she was hot? Well... I don't appreciate that. I want to know that when I am with you, that your attention is on me. I know sometimes you can't help looking at an attractive woman, but I don't want to know about it." Either he listens and remembers, or he doesn't. If he doesn't, you should evaluate whether he is worth continuing to see. 3
that1girlJen Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 My ex used to do it all the time, but it never bothered me. Why? He's only doing what men are biologically programmed to do, and also he never "hit on" or tried to get digits from any of them. He went home with me and only me every night and that's all that mattered to me.
MissBee Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 I have a question...Why on earth do guys do this? it's not just my current bf, but other guys I've dated have done this stuff. Why do some guys seem so comfortable discussing other women in front of me? I've had guys go on about someone else's body before. It's like their oblivious. I don't do this to them. Forgive me, if I ever did. These dudes will be close to slobbering. I haven't personally experienced this from a bf. Usually I'm the one who will point out an attractive woman or prod them for their opinion on a woman. I haven't had bfs slobbering over other women in front of me. Even with me last bf, it was a little flattering albeit weird, but he pretty much hardly found that many other women very attractive. Whenever I asked about women he thought were attractive, he basically said me, Rihanna and I can recall maybe 2 other real life women, and I can't remember the other celebrity . That being said he was pretty much like "She's okay" when it came on to women on the street, he saved all his ogling for me. Maybe it's the kind of guys you date? Has to be. Because I've dated a lot and while the guys may have done other things I didn't like, I don't recall any bf or even casual date ogling other women and "slobbering" all over them in front of me. So maybe you consistently get attracted to men who for whatever reason, poor manners, inconsiderate, something, why they'd even do that. Barring the bf who thought only I and Rihanna were pretty , all others, while I'm sure noticed attractive women, didn't go out of their way to comment on them in my presence, unless I asked, and even if I did, they were usually conservative about it like "Yea, she's cute." 1
thecrucible Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 I dated a guy like this. He didn't just ogle other women. He'd mention a girl he saw all the time in the gym that he kept trying to get with and she wasn't going to bite. Not something I wanted to know about...Anyway I'm glad I'm not around him anymore *cringe*. OP, either he is socially tone deaf or he doesn't care about your feelings. None of these are good. 1
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