My story....

[devil_never_cry]

First I'd like to say hello to everyone and apologize if my English isn't perfect. It's probably gonna be a long read so thank you for your time! As always ,it's a story about love.I'm a 29 year old guy and I've had my share of relationships and girls, but I never experienced ''true love'' until I met her (20)...You know how every person has the idea of their perfect girlfriend/boyfriend ? Well, she was all I ever dreamed of.Drop dead gorgeous ( she's like Megan Fox 's twin sister), kind, sweet,loving,caring, amazing in bed, romantic. For the first time in my life I felt I was truly happy.We dated for 7 months ( I know it's not long but I was ready to marry this girl, that's how much I was invested in the relationship) Of course not everything was perfect...There was a huge dark cloud over our relationship - her parents.The problem was she's a Muslim and I'm a Christian. Neither of us cared about that ( I don't see color, race,religion ...to me a person is either good or bad) but her parents were so against us that they hated me without even knowing who I am or meeting me. We had to sort of hide our relationship (couldn't upload pictures of us on social media end etc.) And it was hard for both of us but our love for each other was so strong that none of it mattered.Whenever we were together her mom would call her and tell her to come home. She wasn't allowed to be out late if she was with me ,and a lot of times she had fights with her mom because of our relationship.I know it was hard for her but it was hard for me too - I couldn't call her whenever I wanted to , couldn't visit her at her place, coulnd't spend a night with her like a normal couple. She became a part of my world. I introduced her to everybody - my friends, my family , but I never truly became a part of her world.

But again, non of it mattered because our love for each other was so strong.We wanted to get married ,have kids,spend our lives together.She told me she never felt like this before and I was on cloud nine.During our relationship I was always there for her, always doing everything in my power to make her happy, never said NO to anything. I expressed my love in every possible way.I treated her like a princess.Never lied to her, never cheated or even thought about other girls.. All I could see was her.We were each other's best friend and we did everything together. The day of the break up was brutal...I woke up that day and decided to make a little surprise for her - went out and bought her flowers and also bought a little hear-shaped box.When I went home i filled the box with little pieces of paper . On each piece of paper I wrote 1 reason why I love her, and there were like 50 pieces ( could have written a 100 but the box wouldn't fit them). Later that day we met and I gave her the flowers and the box but her reaction shocked me - all she did was say ''thanks'' ...no hug, no kiss...nothing. I was shocked and I knew something was wrong.A few hours later she broke up with me out of the blue, without any indication prior to that day that something was wrong. In fact the last time we spoke before we met she told me how much she misses and loves me.I couldn't believe it .My whole world collapsed. I asked her for a reason and she couldn't give me one... When I dropped her off I was devastated. Just a few hours earlier I was the happiest man alive ,looking forward to spending a wonderful day with the love of my life.I decided to give her space because I thought she got confused or something. A few days went by and I decided to text her to say ''good luck'' because she had an exam that day. She replied ''thanks'' and that was it. 2 weeks passed since the breakup and still I had no contact from her. Her facebook status never changed (it said In a relationship) and I thought she would come to her senses and return to me...after all she told me she loved me more than anything and the break up was without any reason. 16 days after the breakup she uploads a photo with her and some guy I've never seen before.I felt like I was hit by a lightning and contacted her right away. She said he was a long time family friend, they just went out as friends for a coffee and that was it...Later that day a friend of mine sugggested I check her instagram , so I created an account and opened her profile.What I saw there killed me - photos of her and this guy the first of which was uploaded just 4 days after our breakup and was titled MY LOVE. I almost fainted. 1 minute later she blocked me on Instagram,Facebook and also my phone number. I had to see her....I had to talk to her to get some sort of explanation and the only way I could do it was in person because I was blocked everywhere else. So the next day I went to see her at her work ( she has a beauty salon ). She was alone and when she saw me it was like seeing a ghost.I asked her just for a few minutes of her time and she said OK. So I asked her why did she break up with me ,was it because of this guy..She stood there without saying a word, she couldn't even look at me. I kept asking and finally she said something - ''I can't fight with them can't you understand ? " . I said ''do you mean your parents, are they the reason because if they are I would understand' ...Her respons was ''stop asking me I'm not telling you anything'' Then I told her I saw her instagram and I hope the new guy makes her happy. She was still crying and told me I had to leave so I did. When I got home I felt hope .I said to myself she's still loves me, why would she cry if she doesn't. Later that night she unblocked me on Facebook and sent me a message - ''Why did you come, why did you do it??? Don't ever do that again !!! Me and you are finished'' I asked her to be friends, I told her I needed her in my life but she said NO, she said 'there's nothing left to say between us'' ''Yes I have a new boyfriend and I love him like I've never loved before, he's my soulmate, he's everything I ever wanted.I don't care about you , I don't want to see you ever again or hear from you.I don't miss you, I never think about you and our time together. Don't contact me ever'' I was shocked.... I asked her how can you tell me that you love me and want to spend your life me ,then break up with me, get a new guy in just a few days and already be head over heels for him, how is this even possible ?? ... She said 'well ,when you find your soulmate you will understand' She was so mean to me , it was like I was talking to a complete stranger. The last thing sse said to me was ''I won;t block your Facebook again if you don't send me messages' and I said OK. I couldn't sleep for the next 2 days, I was like a dead man. I lost weight, lost my will to live.I cried like a baby most of the time. I couldn't stop thinking about her, about us...wondering what the hell happend and why she acted the way she did. A month passed , I decided it was time to get my life back together. I started going to the gym, eating healthy, going out with friends all the time but no matter what I did, there wasn't even a moment without thinking about her. I wanted to see her so bad, to talk to her...but I never broke NC.2 months after the breakup I saw her and her mother at a local grocery store. My heart was racing, I felt butterflies in my stomach...there she was, the love of my life , just a few steps away. I gathered all my strengt , put on a smile and went to say HI .When she saw me she looked at me for a second with such emptyness, like she was seeing a stranger, and she turned away .I said ''hi'' to her mom as well and also got no response. I felt so bad...I didn't do anything to them, anything...yet they treated me like I was an enemy . A week later she blocked me on Facebook, still don't know why. I never contacted her, we weren't even friends there.I can't get this question out of my head...why block me ? Sure we have some mutual friends there and when they tag me she sees it , but if she doesn't care about me (like she said) that wouldn't bother her right ?

Well, it's been 3 months now and I can't seem to get out of this hole. I miss her like crazy, I dream about her every night. And I still love her with all my heart, after all she did and the way she treated me..Maybe I'm crazy ..I'm a decent looking guy, in shape, smart, have a great job and no financial trouble.There are girls that are reaching out to me, but I just don't care about them, it's like I'm obssesed with my ex. She was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and the love I have for her is so strong that I can't even look at other women that way...I tried hooking up with a girl, brought her to my place ...she was ready to have sex with me but I just couldn't do it. It didn't matter that she was gorgeous. I feel hollow, lost, hopeless .Nothing makes me happy. While she's out there, living her life with the man she loves.Planning the future we planned ,doing the things we did...It's so hard to even think about it. One thing I know for sure is I'm not gonna break NC, my will is strong. But all my questions remain unanswered - how could she do this to me...why did she treat me that bad, doesn't ever want to see or hear from me....How can she forget everything we had so easily and forget me after all the time we spent together...why did she block me without any reason...I like to think that some day she will remember me and reach out but I know that's probably never going to happen.... I miss my friend, I miss my love...Nobody deserves to go through this much pain...

[ManyDissapoint]

Can you reformat your post with paragraphs and stuff...this is just a small piece of advice since no one is going to read this as it is.

[devil_never_cry]

I'm sorry, it won't let me edit it...

Edited December 8, 2015 by devil_never_cry

[CarrieT]

There - fixed it for you.

First I'd like to say hello to everyone and apologize if my English isn't perfect. It's probably gonna be a long read so thank you for your time!

 

As always ,it's a story about love.I'm a 29 year old guy and I've had my share of relationships and girls, but I never experienced ''true love'' until I met her (20)...You know how every person has the idea of their perfect girlfriend/boyfriend ? Well, she was all I ever dreamed of.Drop dead gorgeous ( she's like Megan Fox 's twin sister), kind, sweet,loving,caring, amazing in bed, romantic. For the first time in my life I felt I was truly happy.We dated for 7 months ( I know it's not long but I was ready to marry this girl, that's how much I was invested in the relationship)

 

Of course not everything was perfect...There was a huge dark cloud over our relationship - her parents.The problem was she's a Muslim and I'm a Christian. Neither of us cared about that ( I don't see color, race,religion ...to me a person is either good or bad) but her parents were so against us that they hated me without even knowing who I am or meeting me. We had to sort of hide our relationship (couldn't upload pictures of us on social media end etc.) And it was hard for both of us but our love for each other was so strong that none of it mattered.Whenever we were together her mom would call her and tell her to come home. She wasn't allowed to be out late if she was with me ,and a lot of times she had fights with her mom because of our relationship. I know it was hard for her but it was hard for me too - I couldn't call her whenever I wanted to , couldn't visit her at her place, coulnd't spend a night with her like a normal couple.

 

She became a part of my world. I introduced her to everybody - my friends, my family , but I never truly became a part of her world.

But again, non of it mattered because our love for each other was so strong.We wanted to get married ,have kids,spend our lives together.She told me she never felt like this before and I was on cloud nine.During our relationship I was always there for her, always doing everything in my power to make her happy, never said NO to anything. I expressed my love in every possible way.I treated her like a princess. Never lied to her, never cheated or even thought about other girls.. All I could see was her. We were each other's best friend and we did everything together.

 

The day of the break up was brutal...I woke up that day and decided to make a little surprise for her - went out and bought her flowers and also bought a little hear-shaped box.When I went home i filled the box with little pieces of paper . On each piece of paper I wrote 1 reason why I love her, and there were like 50 pieces ( could have written a 100 but the box wouldn't fit them). Later that day we met and I gave her the flowers and the box but her reaction shocked me - all she did was say ''thanks'' ...no hug, no kiss...nothing. I was shocked and I knew something was wrong.

 

A few hours later she broke up with me out of the blue, without any indication prior to that day that something was wrong. In fact the last time we spoke before we met she told me how much she misses and loves me.I couldn't believe it .My whole world collapsed. I asked her for a reason and she couldn't give me one... When I dropped her off I was devastated. Just a few hours earlier I was the happiest man alive ,looking forward to spending a wonderful day with the love of my life. I decided to give her space because I thought she got confused or something.

 

A few days went by and I decided to text her to say ''good luck'' because she had an exam that day. She replied ''thanks'' and that was it. 2 weeks passed since the breakup and still I had no contact from her. Her facebook status never changed (it said In a relationship) and I thought she would come to her senses and return to me...after all she told me she loved me more than anything and the break up was without any reason. 16 days after the breakup she uploads a photo with her and some guy I've never seen before.I felt like I was hit by a lightning and contacted her right away. She said he was a long time family friend, they just went out as friends for a coffee and that was it...Later that day a friend of mine sugggested I check her instagram , so I created an account and opened her profile.What I saw there killed me - photos of her and this guy the first of which was uploaded just 4 days after our breakup and was titled MY LOVE. I almost fainted.

 

1 minute later she blocked me on Instagram, Facebook and also my phone number. I had to see her....I had to talk to her to get some sort of explanation and the only way I could do it was in person because I was blocked everywhere else. So the next day I went to see her at her work ( she has a beauty salon ). She was alone and when she saw me it was like seeing a ghost.I asked her just for a few minutes of her time and she said OK. So I asked her why did she break up with me ,was it because of this guy..She stood there without saying a word, she couldn't even look at me. I kept asking and finally she said something - ''I can't fight with them can't you understand ? " I said, ''do you mean your parents, are they the reason because if they are I would understand.' Her respons was ''stop asking me I'm not telling you anything'' Then I told her I saw her instagram and I hope the new guy makes her happy. She was still crying and told me I had to leave so I did.

 

When I got home I felt hope .I said to myself she's still loves me, why would she cry if she doesn't. Later that night she unblocked me on Facebook and sent me a message - ''Why did you come, why did you do it??? Don't ever do that again !!! Me and you are finished'' I asked her to be friends, I told her I needed her in my life but she said NO, she said 'there's nothing left to say between us'' ''Yes I have a new boyfriend and I love him like I've never loved before, he's my soulmate, he's everything I ever wanted. I don't care about you , I don't want to see you ever again or hear from you.I don't miss you, I never think about you and our time together. Don't contact me ever'' I was shocked.... I asked her how can you tell me that you love me and want to spend your life me ,then break up with me, get a new guy in just a few days and already be head over heels for him, how is this even possible ?? ... She said 'well ,when you find your soulmate you will understand' She was so mean to me , it was like I was talking to a complete stranger. The last thing sse said to me was ''I won;t block your Facebook again if you don't send me messages' and I said OK.

 

I couldn't sleep for the next 2 days, I was like a dead man. I lost weight, lost my will to live.I cried like a baby most of the time. I couldn't stop thinking about her, about us...wondering what the hell happend and why she acted the way she did. A month passed , I decided it was time to get my life back together. I started going to the gym, eating healthy, going out with friends all the time but no matter what I did, there wasn't even a moment without thinking about her. I wanted to see her so bad, to talk to her...but I never broke NC.

 

2 months after the breakup I saw her and her mother at a local grocery store. My heart was racing, I felt butterflies in my stomach...there she was, the love of my life , just a few steps away. I gathered all my strengt , put on a smile and went to say HI .When she saw me she looked at me for a second with such emptyness, like she was seeing a stranger, and she turned away .I said ''hi'' to her mom as well and also got no response. I felt so bad...I didn't do anything to them, anything...yet they treated me like I was an enemy . A week later she blocked me on Facebook, still don't know why. I never contacted her, we weren't even friends there.I can't get this question out of my head...why block me ? Sure we have some mutual friends there and when they tag me she sees it , but if she doesn't care about me (like she said) that wouldn't bother her right ?

 

Well, it's been 3 months now and I can't seem to get out of this hole. I miss her like crazy, I dream about her every night. And I still love her with all my heart, after all she did and the way she treated me..Maybe I'm crazy ..I'm a decent looking guy, in shape, smart, have a great job and no financial trouble.There are girls that are reaching out to me, but I just don't care about them, it's like I'm obssesed with my ex. She was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and the love I have for her is so strong that I can't even look at other women that way...I tried hooking up with a girl, brought her to my place ...she was ready to have sex with me but I just couldn't do it. It didn't matter that she was gorgeous. I feel hollow, lost, hopeless .Nothing makes me happy. While she's out there, living her life with the man she loves.Planning the future we planned ,doing the things we did...It's so hard to even think about it. One thing I know for sure is I'm not gonna break NC, my will is strong.

 

But all my questions remain unanswered - how could she do this to me...why did she treat me that bad, doesn't ever want to see or hear from me....How can she forget everything we had so easily and forget me after all the time we spent together...why did she block me without any reason...I like to think that some day she will remember me and reach out but I know that's probably never going to happen.... I miss my friend, I miss my love...Nobody deserves to go through this much pain...

[devil_never_cry]

Thank you CarrieT !!

[Nickr3023]

Wow man I definitely feel your pain. I too was left for another man. It's an awful feeling to know that you were so easily replaced. It basically comes down to this though.....the person that you fell in love with in the beginning, she's dead, she's gone, she's not coming back. And don't be jealous of this guy, she's going to do the same thing to him that she did to you. I would know, my ex cheated on her husband at the time (not with me), and I wanted to believe that she would never do it again, it seemed like she had learned her lesson.....but leopards never change their spots.

 

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and do your best at moving on in life. I'm only 3 weeks NC after my BU but I can feel myself slowly getting better. I don't feel better every minute of every day, but I have my moments where she's not on my mind. I know it's not easy to move on, we've all been there.

 

But again just remember, that girl that you fell in love with so long ago, is gone. This new guy isn't getting her either, he's getting the broken cold woman that left you, and she's going to do the same thing to him.

[healingsoul]

First, I want to tell you that I am very sorry you are hurting. It is always hard to get dropped in a relationship.

 

 

 

 

The one you shared is very complicated especially due to the differences in faiths. Did you ever talk about this being a problem when you were with her during these 7 months? I have always considered that when you are dating a person you have to realize that you are also dating someone that is part of a family. What I mean by this is that most people want to respect their parents but especially people who are religious or committed to their family (and their parent's wishes). Have you thought about the fact that it might be impossible for her to date you since you are a Christian and she is Muslim because it would destroy her relationship with her family and she is not willing to let that happen? Maybe if you considered this you would not be so hard on yourself and you could simply respect her enough for having to make a very hard decision to honor her family.

[devil_never_cry]

Nickr3023 you're right brother, the girl I fell in love with is long gone and dead...too bad the memory of her is still alive.

It does get better in time ,but I think true love never goes away , we just learn to live with the fact that it's over.

I like to think that the new guy got the new cold version of her, but I'm sure that's not the case.

They seem so happy and in love in all the photos she posts (I know,it was a dumb thing to check her instagram but I stopped doing that a month or so ago) .

 

healingsoul we talked a lot about that issue. We both thought that in time things will get better and we agreed to fight for our relationship no matter what.

It's true that she was torn between her family and me and trust me if she sat me down and told me that she loves me but we can't be together because that would destroy her relationship with her family I would have understood.

But she didn't... She just left,blocked me everywhere and fell in love with a guy just days later.

So no.... I don't think her family was the reason for the breakup...it was this guy.

She probably cheated on me with him while we were still dating (she denied it).

 

I just don't get why she removed me from her life like that ,why she sees me as a threat. I've done nothing bad to her and never will.

[healingsoul]

Thank you for the detailed response.

 

"healingsoul we talked a lot about that issue. We both thought that in time things will get better and we agreed to fight for our relationship no matter what.

It's true that she was torn between her family and me and trust me if she sat me down and told me that she loves me but we can't be together because that would destroy her relationship with her family I would have understood.

But she didn't... She just left,blocked me everywhere and fell in love with a guy just days later.

So no.... I don't think her family was the reason for the breakup...it was this guy.

She probably cheated on me with him while we were still dating (she denied it).

 

I just don't get why she removed me from her life like that ,why she sees me as a threat. I've done nothing bad to her and never will."

 

It is quite possible that she found another guy. She maybe found someone that her family approves and it makes it easier for her to date. I am sorry you have been so hurt. Do you think you gave her everything emotionally and physically too quick before you worked out the complications with her family?

 

 

I often think of dating as not just the person but also the family. If you would ever marry and have children, of course, the family would be involved.

 

 

 

I don't know if this will help but you might next time want to get to know the family as well as the girl better before you give all of your heart.

 

To prevent from being hurt I think it is best that you don't stay connected to her in any way on social media. Again I am sorry you had to experience this. Hopefully you can take something positive away and protect yourself from repeating a similar situation.

[Captivating]

Hi Devil never Cry,

I agree with healingsoul....your relationship crumbled because of the pressure of the family. Perhaps, her parents gave her the ultimatum that she either breaks up with you or they disown her. Maybe her parents are very religious and Christianity is a taboo for them... parents often worry about them belonging to their community and not to be excommunicated etc. She was devastated and seems to struggle with this too. "I can't fight them , can't you understand?" They probably sat her up with the new guy too from their Muslim community. Her Mom ignored you too.....you never gave a reason for that. This is one thing I don't understand about fanatic religious people.....you supposed to be KIND to everyone, embracing and accepting....why cannot they apply this in their everyday life?? It is obviously a waste of time if they are hateful. What a life to live ! I am very sorry for your loss. It wasn't you, it was their belief that wasn't "compatible" with yours.

Edited December 13, 2015 by Captivating

[devil_never_cry]

So I was talking to a friend yesterday about her and he decides to check her facebook profile (they are facebook friends) .It seems she changed her relationship status to ''In a relationship with '' the guy but what was shocking to me was the date she set for the beginning of the relationship - it was the same date we broke up...

 

This is like a ''**** you'' from her to me. I don't know if it was intentional and I don't even know if it is true, because to my knowledge they started dating a few days later. If it is true than it's like her telling me ''you know what, everything I told you was a lie and I was cheating on you with that guy".

 

Do you think she's trying to get my attention ? Sure she blocked me on Facebook but that relationship info is public and she must know I can see it if I wanted to...she can't be that stupid... Or maybe she forgot I even exist...