Peekabou Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 I have dated lots of guys and all they want is sex. I'm sick of it. I love sex but I want something more. The guy I'm dating currently just wants us to hang at his place and cuddle and mess around and fck. We've been together about 6 months and I'm just tired of it. I've been on a few dated recently and it's like no matter what the guy just looks at me like a sex toy or something and wants to take me back to his place. Are there really any guys with intelligence or is that a myth? Am I doing something wrong? Am I sending the wrong signal? This is driving me crazy and I'm beginning to feel like I'm the only one out here. 4
Samhain Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 I have dated lots of guys and all they want is sex. I'm sick of it. I love sex but I want something more. The guy I'm dating currently just wants us to hang at his place and cuddle and mess around and fck. We've been together about 6 months and I'm just tired of it. I've been on a few dated recently and it's like no matter what the guy just looks at me like a sex toy or something and wants to take me back to his place. Are there really any guys with intelligence or is that a myth? Am I doing something wrong? Am I sending the wrong signal? This is driving me crazy and I'm beginning to feel like I'm the only one out here. It's a myth. Especially if you make it known you'll be someone's sex toy for 6 months. 7
Truth34 Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Myth for sure. What kind of vibe you're sending out, I don't know. But I certainly want something with substance in my life. The difference right now is that I would settle for some casual fun, but I would like to build something into a relationship at some point. Usually not the best strategy in the world. 1
Author Peekabou Posted December 8, 2015 Author Posted December 8, 2015 (edited) So seriously no guy wants more than sex? I mean I get the initial attraction and the desire but seriously, are there not guys out there that are looking for something deeper, greater, something almost spiritual with a woman. Don't get me wrong, I think amazing sex is a cornerstone of any romantic relationship, but do guys not feel the same? Don't they long for more too? Edited December 8, 2015 by Peekabou
Corduroy Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 When I'm with a girl, I admit I like to have sex all the time. But I also like going on dates, making dinner together, watch movies, etc. Sex is a good way to connect, just make sure you find someone who can bring more to the table than just D. 4
Truth34 Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 So seriously no guy wants more than sex? I mean I get the initial attraction and the desire but seriously, are there not guys out there that are looking for something deeper, greater, something almost spiritual with a woman. Don't get me wrong, I think amazing sex is a cornerstone of any romantic relationship, but do guys not feel the same? Don't they long for more too? Guess I missed my initial wording. My mistake. No, there are some of us who want more. A real relationship is all I'm truly interested in. Most of my friends are the same. 6
Author Peekabou Posted December 8, 2015 Author Posted December 8, 2015 I'd like to make the intellectual and emotional connection before I get physically involved. I'm pretty good at spotting players, I avoid them. The guy I WAS seeing was a football player for the uni we both go to but I'm done with him. Player and cheater! But that's ok, we never really connected. I don't know what's up with me bit I've been doing so much thinking and I almost want to say goodbye to men forever. I'm so sick of feeling used! I feel myself becoming angry and cynical and jaded and that's not who I want to be. 1
Lois_Griffin Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 I think it depends on what age group you're talking about. If you're dating mostly guys in the low-to-mid 20's, it's pretty much what you can expect. The ones not being driven by their hormones are going to be a bit tough to find, but they do exist. 3
Author Peekabou Posted December 8, 2015 Author Posted December 8, 2015 By the way I just found out the guy who was my supposed bf has another girlfriend. So sorry for the anger towards men. I'm not like that usually. I'm ok really because I was looking around too but still it's just mind blowing.
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 If you're quite young ( no condescension meant by that) than it may mean it's a phase that some young guys go through like... busting nut before they grow up and mature enough to handle an adult relationship. Some young guys and their friends will create a culture whereby they're in cahoots with one another about how many woman they've slept with. Controlling their hormones is not on their agenda, unleashing them is more like it. I don't want to generalize all young men in this way, because their are some decent, young guys that want serious relationships. When they see your heart and your beauty and sensitivity and intelligence they'll talk to you, treat you, even touch you in a completely different way to what you're use to. What I would suggest, is to step away from these guys that obviously treating you in a way that is taking a bit out of you each time. You obviously don't want to be treated this way. So spend time with some uplifting friends, get to know some guy friends that are respecting and nice and work on yourself a bit. Once you're feeling good in your own skin, you'll attract a whole heap of men that you thought you would never attract before in your life, ones that are worthy of your time. You won't even be attracted to these low lives, because you'll cotton on to their manipulation game and tactics before they finish their last sentence. I know this from experience. These guys are trash, don't let them trash you in the process. Good luck 4
Author Peekabou Posted December 8, 2015 Author Posted December 8, 2015 By the way I just found out the guy who was my supposed bf has another girlfriend. So sorry for the anger towards men. I'm not like that usually. I'm ok really because I was looking around too but still it's just mind blowing.
Author Peekabou Posted December 8, 2015 Author Posted December 8, 2015 Should I start looking for guys a bit older?
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 No. You shouldn't look for guys older or younger or whatever. Don't look for guys, period. I would just take some time out for you. If you feel like they're hinting sex too early. Say you're not that kind of girl and say " errgggh. Next" But I would always just not worry about that. I use to get attracted all the time to the wrong man. I was attracted to men that treated me badly because that's all I knew men to be. It was like a sick programming. I got counselling. I worked on myself and now those guys repulse me. I give them the buzzer usually. If they piss me off and act creepy hinting sex immediately I usually give them the buzzer and tell them that their time is up and i have better things to do. 4
PogoStick Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Guys me no stoopid! That reminds me, I need to call my fk toy. OP, what do you think of the Republican primaries? Is there a particular candidate you're leaning towards?
BluEyeL Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Most guys want sex first. What you need to do is to say no sex until a relationship (btw, don't actually tell them that, just tell this to yourself, to them, just show, just say not ready yet, or anyway let go of the ones who hint at it right away). And keep letting them go with no sex, until you find one that is decent enough and will like you enough to give you a loving relationship. Remember, people will treat us the way we allow them to treat us. If you have sex with guys who are not interested in something serious, you are also hurting yourself. Don't sleep with any of them until you find that one good guy. and expect it'll take 1-2 years, but it's going to be worth it and you're saving a ton of time in the long run, by letting go of the non-serious contenders early. Good luck! 9
CarrieT Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Most guys want sex first. What you need to do is to say no sex until a relationship (btw, don't actually tell them that, just tell this to yourself, to them, just show, just say not ready yet, or anyway let go of the ones who hint at it right away). And keep letting them go with no sex, until you find one that is decent enough and will like you enough to give you a loving relationship. Remember, people will treat us the way we allow them to treat us. If you have sex with guys who are not interested in something serious, you are also hurting yourself. Don't sleep with any of them until you find that one good guy. and expect it'll take 1-2 years, but it's going to be worth it and you're saving a ton of time in the long run, by letting go of the non-serious contenders early. Good luck! This is exactly what I was going to say. Should I start looking for guys a bit older? This won't make a difference, if you are giving them sex too early. Look, OP, this was me for almost 40-years! I thought to get a guy, I had to put out early and, consequently, I had a LOT of relationships that were based on sex only. Let them know your mind first, to win your heart, then you can give them your body. Go in that order and you will find someone who wants you for more than just sex. 6
Redhead14 Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 I have dated lots of guys and all they want is sex. I'm sick of it. I love sex but I want something more. The guy I'm dating currently just wants us to hang at his place and cuddle and mess around and fck. We've been together about 6 months and I'm just tired of it. I've been on a few dated recently and it's like no matter what the guy just looks at me like a sex toy or something and wants to take me back to his place. Are there really any guys with intelligence or is that a myth? Am I doing something wrong? Am I sending the wrong signal? This is driving me crazy and I'm beginning to feel like I'm the only one out here. In order to determine whether your "signals" and/or guy picking intuition is, let's say, off, we would need to know what your dating patterns with these guys were. In other words, how did the dating scenarios begin? Very early on in a new dating scenario, it's important to have a casual conversation about dating goals . . . what each of you is looking for for yourselves out of your dating experiences. Are you both looking for a relationship? Does he only want casual? You need to make sure you're both on the same page to start with. And, next, you need to observe how the man dates you. Is he consistent with communication and scheduling dates and does he schedule "proper" dates in the beginning. In other words, is he taking you out in public, does he call you last minute and/or late at night, etc. Even if a guy tells you he's looking for a relationship, sometimes they just say that because they know that's what woman usually want. So, you just need to observe carefully how they date you. Just because a man isn't looking for a relationship and just wants casual dating/sex, doesn't mean he's not intelligent. It just means he doesn't want the same thing you do. So, regarding the guy you are currently dating, have you had conversations about what you each want? If not, go there. If you have and the relationship is "where" it is now, I'd say they guy just doesn't want a real relationship and is now "comfortable" enough having you around so why should he move on. He's got what he wants and you're going along with it. Either tell him you're looking for a real relationship and want to know where he stands now with you or simply say that the relationship hasn't developed the way you wanted it to and tell him you're moving on. You aren't the only one who feels this way . . . but you are the only one who can change that. There are lots of women who feel/are being treated this way, but they are just with a guy who doesn't want what they want usually. I'd be willing to bet that this guy hasn't really been dating you properly anyway from the start and/or you haven't focused enough on things. If you are honest with yourself, you'd probably say that the guy hasn't been making you feel like he's "all in" anyway for quite some time. 2
Snotty Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 I guess i could say all women are bat sh't crazy.....
Sunlight72 Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 ...simply say that the relationship hasn't developed the way you wanted it to and tell him you're moving on. You aren't the only one who feels this way . . . but you are the only one who can change that. There are lots of women who feel/are being treated this way, but they are just with a guy who doesn't want what they want usually. I'd be willing to bet that this guy hasn't really been dating you properly anyway from the start and/or you haven't focused enough on things. If you are honest with yourself, you'd probably say that the guy hasn't been making you feel like he's "all in" anyway for quite some time. This ^^^^ It's your job to be tough on yourself and turn men away once you figure out they are not interested in the type of relationship you are interested in. It's not your job to "get a man". That's nothing (sorry to say). It's your job to decide what you want in a relationship, and find a man who also wants that relationship. You can determine if it's worth seeing them two or three times by talking, but to really decide if it's worth making a relationship with them and having sex with them, you need to decide only by their actions. Observe their actions over time (at least a month?) before you consider having sex. If you actually want to find a man who wants the type of relationship you want. My two cents, Best Wishes, Sunlight 5
thefooloftheyear Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Nah.... We also actually like a nice sandwich, a back rub after a hard days work and not being bothered on a Sunday during football season... We're not all that difficult....:laugh: TFY 2
Cherryz Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 If all guys looking at you as sex doll, then you need to ask yourself why? You dress or walk or behave seductive ? Ask your close friends for feedback. Also there are men that just want sex. But even then the "power" is in the womans hand. The morals and line you draw. You teach them mostly how you want to be treat. And if he see this girl is not easy he leave or he takes time to know you more. And if he just on sex you will see it and cut him off. Its you that put the rules at the end. What ever way a guy comes to you. Thats why its good to take time to know him so you can get to see his real intentions. 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Most guys want sex first. What you need to do is to say no sex until a relationship (btw, don't actually tell them that, just tell this to yourself, to them, just show, just say not ready yet, or anyway let go of the ones who hint at it right away). And keep letting them go with no sex, until you find one that is decent enough and will like you enough to give you a loving relationship. Remember, people will treat us the way we allow them to treat us. If you have sex with guys who are not interested in something serious, you are also hurting yourself. Don't sleep with any of them until you find that one good guy. and expect it'll take 1-2 years, but it's going to be worth it and you're saving a ton of time in the long run, by letting go of the non-serious contenders early. Good luck! I second this. You are the creator of your chaos I'm afraid. If you want more, demand more. It's not rocket science. 4
Yummm Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 I also disagree OP - and i'm a male in my early twenties. The amount of women I've dated who seem to be fine with putting out on the first couple dates and looking for nothing more than a man to fill their hole (pun intended). It feels empty after a while and that's not what i'm about. Finding a woman who appreciates my qualities and sees enough in me to want to pursue a relationship and grow together is what I'm after, yet THAT is hard to find. 2
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