K2z Posted March 9, 2016 Posted March 9, 2016 I had a dream of my ex a week or two ago. It was like ripping off a layer of skin- back to the raw pain. My model of reality doesn't take into account "full healing." I personally don't believe you ever move on 100%. You will always be scarred. That broken bone will always hurt when it rains. That torn ligament will never stretch quite as far as it once did. But, wisdom will ensue. You will function at a much, much higher level than you thought you ever would. In November I was certain I would find a quiet beach on which to overdose. Now I sing in the shower. You hit a dead cat bounce at some point where your autonomic systems simply refuse to let you suffer like this anymore. There's a certain "Deadpool" black humor that gets you by for a while, like a crutch. And then, for most of the day, you are capable of something resembling optimism and happiness. With the occasional pinprick of memory. 1
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