iheartgoodmusic Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 I recently told the guy I'm dating that I got with his brother 16 years ago. We really like each other but I feel like he's been acting a little different. I feel embarrased and effed up inside. I feel as if he will look at me differently now. We are in our early 30's. What's your opinion and it doesn't matter how harsh?
Glitters Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 So you were about 15/16 ? That's teenage dating ! However , he would have come to know anywho at a later stage when you met family etc So whatever has to happen , will happen sooner than later , which is good. 2
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 When it is 15/16 years ago... and you (all) went from "teens" to "adults" in that time... then there isn't too much of a moral issue about dating the brother this time around. That goes double if they all drifted out of your life during most of that time, and then the brother just reappeared from somewhere. There is a parallel to occasional stories of two people randomly meeting, and falling in love, only to find out that they are (perhaps) half-siblings, or some such thing because they were raised in completely different environs, with no contact with each other. Now while the law, and genetics would likely frown on the scenario I just invented (each of them is innocent in their path to discovery), any such occurrence as you and these brothers having been apart for most of these past 15/16 years would make it additionally OK that you dated each of them. (and as you know, sooooooooooome people surely date brothers, even consecutively... and on occasion the love story happens with the 2nd of the pair) 1
d0nnivain Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Depends on what "got with" means. If you & his brother had carnal knowledge of one another I can sort of understand his current reluctance, sloppy seconds & all. If it was teenaged kissing, perhaps he will come around. However you must understand your past cuts a bit close to home for him. He may not get past it but that doesn't make you dirty or bad. I dated twins in college. I was dating one of them. He pissed me off & I went after the one person who would make him the most angry. I wasn't the nicest person in college. 1
Standard-Fare Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 I assume "got with" means sex. And I can understand why this guy would feel a little bit skeeved about sleeping with the same woman his brother had. I think any of us in the same position would feel the same way with siblings, who we'd prefer to never imagine as sexual beings. But really, this is a best-case scenario for this type of thing since it was so long ago and you were a teenager. If this guy is having real feelings for you, he should be able to man up and move past it. Allow him the requisite period of mild freakout, but if it goes beyond that he's not mature enough to handle this. 2
Author iheartgoodmusic Posted December 8, 2015 Author Posted December 8, 2015 Thank you all for your replies and I will look at it from all perspectives. I will be patient to see how he comes along and also be prepared for rejection.
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