Buzzkillington Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 I have been dating a girl for two months - nothing serious, we have been having a great time indulging in a couple of strong mutual interests and hanging out/films etc a couple of times a week. She initiated the romantic relationship as I was oblivious to any chance I might have. Anyway, as of a week ago she was massively (100%, open in front of people) into me, but for the last four days I haven't had any texts or calls or any sign of life at all. I texted her lightheartedly saying we should get together in the week and it's radio silence! I suppose either I'm overreacting, or she's just gone off me(?) I don't do a lot of dating though so i'd like some other opinions hence the post. We had really great chemistry/potential and things were going well so it's startled me a bit! Thanks for any help.
Redhead14 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 I have been dating a girl for two months - nothing serious, we have been having a great time indulging in a couple of strong mutual interests and hanging out/films etc a couple of times a week. She initiated the romantic relationship as I was oblivious to any chance I might have. Anyway, as of a week ago she was massively (100%, open in front of people) into me, but for the last four days I haven't had any texts or calls or any sign of life at all. I texted her lightheartedly saying we should get together in the week and it's radio silence! I suppose either I'm overreacting, or she's just gone off me(?) I don't do a lot of dating though so i'd like some other opinions hence the post. We had really great chemistry/potential and things were going well so it's startled me a bit! Thanks for any help. Stop texting and pick up the phone. Give her a call and ask her if everything is ok with her and go from there. You've been dating her for 2 months so a phone call to make sure she's OK isn't going to be clingy or needy -- you're concerned. If she's falling off the map, you'll know by her response. If it goes to voicemail, let it go and see if she calls you back. If she doesn't you'll know she's moved on.
jen1447 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 It's sounds to me like she's done. Sorry. Sometimes women can have changes of heart really quickly, but if she doesn't have the presence and character to let you down with dignity, shame on her. (And you probably dodged a bullet bc character applies to everything.) 2
candie13 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 OP, did you have sex with her, these 2 months? From the way you describe it, it sounds like you two were buddies more than lovers.
Methodical Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 You've already put the ball in court by prompting a future meeting. Texting may be considered indirect communication by some ppl, but with today's technology, texting in a major form of communication for lots of ppl. You can certainly follow up by placing a phone call bc technical glitches do occur from time to time. If she is cutting the cord, slinking off with the radio silence is cowardly and immature, especially given that your relationship went from a general friendship to one of a more personal/intimate nature. Even if she felt you weren't a good match together, you deserve the humane treatment of a mature conversation to convey those thoughts rather than being ducked out on.
Glitters Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 She is not into you and is not telling you directly. Not a new strategy.
winny Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Yes this is a huge red flag that she has lost interest. Why... who knows... If you have already dropped a message then leave it at that. Don't wait. It sucks but people do sometimes change like this
Author Buzzkillington Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 Thank you everyone for the replies! I definitely agree that she seems to have just lost interest. Stop texting and pick up the phone. Give her a call and ask her if everything is ok with her and go from there. You've been dating her for 2 months so a phone call to make sure she's OK isn't going to be clingy or needy -- you're concerned. If she's falling off the map, you'll know by her response. If it goes to voicemail, let it go and see if she calls you back. If she doesn't you'll know she's moved on. Thanks, I think i'll give her a call later tonight just to at least confirm what's going on! I should have mentioned that she posted something on facebook somewhere during these last few days so I do know she's alive thankfully haha... but obviously this is a pretty sure sign she's just avoiding me. It's sounds to me like she's done. Sorry. Sometimes women can have changes of heart really quickly, but if she doesn't have the presence and character to let you down with dignity, shame on her. (And you probably dodged a bullet bc character applies to everything.) Thanks, and yes I'm going to try and make sure I get at least some kind of explanation out of her as I definitely think I deserve it! OP, did you have sex with her, these 2 months? From the way you describe it, it sounds like you two were buddies more than lovers. Thanks, no I didn't and yes you're right - basically we have been like two buddies who made out and did other intimate things but hadn't reached that point or started going out properly yet. She made it clear to me that she wanted to be a couple and I said we should take it slow... I guess that wasn't what she wanted! Feeling pretty sad about it all really but I'll give her a call and then start moving on I guess. Also even without the other side of things we made/make great friends though maybe that would be ruined now which would be a huge shame... Again thanks everyone for your help.
Standard-Fare Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 It sounds like you guys have moving at a slow and casual pace if a)you haven't had sex and b) you didn't even know she was going out of town. So in that context I don't think four days of silence is a huge deal. So far, you haven't established the type of relationship that demands steady contact. However, this could also be the relationship's downfall - a sign that neither of you are feeling particularly passionate.
Erik30 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Stop texting and pick up the phone. Give her a call and ask her if everything is ok with her and go from there. You've been dating her for 2 months so a phone call to make sure she's OK isn't going to be clingy or needy -- you're concerned. If she's falling off the map, you'll know by her response. If it goes to voicemail, let it go and see if she calls you back. If she doesn't you'll know she's moved on. I wouldn't call her any time soon. You already texted her saying you want to get together. Ball is in her court, she should be happy that you asked. So I agree with the others that her silence is a bad sign. Then, if she doesn't get back to you after a while, you could call/text her with definate plans. If she's suddenly busy, or gives another lame excuse, she's done.
Erik30 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 And I just read your most recent reply... Seems like she's backing off because you didn't want to be more serious
Oregon_Dude Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 (edited) I think you failed to be the initiator, and left it in her hands to a fault. Women want you to take the lead. Seems like she got sick of being the man in this situation. I'd text her and say something along the lines of, "Hey, I miss hearing from you and I'm sorry if I haven't been in touch. I'm not so great at this dating thing But I really like you and want to continue forward. Thoughts?" If she doesn't respond, she's over it. Lesson for next time: don't slack on potential love. Show interest, because other douches are waiting to take your place. Edited December 7, 2015 by Oregon_Dude 1
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