warrior04 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 I will keep this short but, I need some serious advice and help. My ex gf and I broke up after 5 years . we had a heated arguement which led to the breakup. I did the no contact thing with her bc I think that was best for this situation. After almost 1 month of not contacting her in anyway or her contacting me. she texted me on dec 5th happy belated bday a day after my birthday .(she knows when my birthday is.) Now, why did she text me happy birthday? Am I reading too much into it? Or is this some bs reason to keep some communication open bc it has been so long that I haven't contacted her? all advice will be much appreciated. Thanks again
PegNosePete Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 why did she text me happy birthday? Because she wanted to. Am I reading too much into it? Well, what are you reading into it? What do you think it means? More than likely the best course of action for you is to ignore it and carry on with the NC.
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 I would say it's probably a sense of habit/obligation. She wished you a happy birthday because she has done for the past 5 years, and it felt odd to not do it now. That, I believe, is all you should read into it, but I agree with PNP. Do not respond, continue with NC.
Author warrior04 Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 I know if I wasn't interested in my ex I would never contact her to wish her a happy bday. I'm just confused on why she would do that.
PegNosePete Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Well, there could be many reasons. Take your pick. She just wants attention from youShe wants to know that you don't hate her for dumping you (I am assuming she is the dumper here)She feels obligation/habit as TM said aboveShe is going on a spiritual mission to right all the wrongs she has done in her life and that involves being a bit nice to you on your birthdayShe has been kidnapped and begged them to let her send one message, she thought you'd find it so strange and suspicious that you'd report it to the police and she'd get rescuedShe wants to borrow $100 and thought she'd better butter you up a bit firstHer phone got a virus and sent it out to everyone in her contact bookHer new BF sent it to wind you upHer phone was stolen and someone else sent itShe sent it deliberately raise your hopes as part of a cruel ritual of torment 1
Author warrior04 Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 It just sucks that I'm moving forward in my life getting stronger everyday to move on without her then this. now I'm back to square 1 wondering what if!
NopeNah Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 . now I'm back to square 1 wondering what if! Then stop over thinking it. It's a few words over text. She didn't call..That *might* be worth going back to square 1,but it was meaningless text, nothing more.
playlislay Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 I was in a similar situation exactly 1 month before your birthday, but I was the ex sending the message. Together 5 years, mum was sick over the summer, didn't see him or contact him due to not coping with mum being sick, he thought I'd left him... After that we struggled to get back on track as we both resented each other for abandoning one another, so I finished it. Regretted it after but he met someone very soon and they had being seeing each other for a month when it was his birthday. I text him the day after his birthday (4th November - a month after we had split up) because I didn't want to ruin his day etc. Why did I text him when we were NC? 1. I felt like a b***h for NOT saying it, even though I was hurt that he was with someone so soon after. 2. I still missed him. 3. I still loved him. His reply? Thanks. Measely and cold. But at least I knew that I wasn't the one being the ahole. I still had the guts and integrity to be nice despite all he had said and done. In an ideal world he would've sent a better reply, we would've had a nice chat, he'd tell me how much he missed me... Blah, blah, blah! But I knew that wasn't going to happen, I just wanted to let him know that I still remembered. I guess it depends on what you want out of the situation? A month of NC gave me LOTS of time to find out where I could've improved. Sometimes the obvious gets clouded by happiness! However, sometimes you need time apart to grow and be a better person.
Nickr3023 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 It just sucks that I'm moving forward in my life getting stronger everyday to move on without her then this. now I'm back to square 1 wondering what if! It was my birthday yesterday and I was dreading all day if she was going to text me, praying to god that she wouldn't. So I understand what you're going through. Thankfully she didn't and I don't have to wonder. But like a previous poster said.....it was just words on a text, that had no substance behind them. If she truly wanted you back, she would make it perfectly clear. She's just trying to make herself feel like less of a ****ty person by saying it to you, it's all about her and that's it.
Author warrior04 Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 @playlislay - I love her more than I can really explain. I want her to want me back but, I know sometimes it doesn't happen that way. I know by giving her space I am also allowing her to figure out what she wants with us if there is a future between us. also I am sorry you were in a similar situation. How is your mum by the way? Hopefully she is better now
Simon Phoenix Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 I know if I wasn't interested in my ex I would never contact her to wish her a happy bday. I'm just confused on why she would do that. Well, just because you think a certain way does not mean another person thinks that same way.
Author warrior04 Posted December 8, 2015 Author Posted December 8, 2015 Update- this is a continuonce I drunk called my ex gf on sunday morning around 1200am when I was out on my bday.( she texted me earlier that day about my bday) i know i made a mistake by calling. She just texted me today not to drunk dial or drunk text her bc it's not fair to her. why would she wait until Tuesday to respond about my phone calls? Just curious why she waited almost 3 days. Then after we text a few times back and forth she said have a great day. Which she never does. is there a hidden meaning to this?
mountains Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Update- this is a continuonce I drunk called my ex gf on sunday morning around 1200am when I was out on my bday.( she texted me earlier that day about my bday) i know i made a mistake by calling. She just texted me today not to drunk dial or drunk text her bc it's not fair to her. why would she wait until Tuesday to respond about my phone calls? Just curious why she waited almost 3 days. Then after we text a few times back and forth she said have a great day. Which she never does. is there a hidden meaning to this? Because it probably pissed her off, so she needed to take a few days off. It wasn't really fair for her to contact you on your birthday either. No hidden reason other than I would get pissed too if my ex woke me up. Do what I did. Write your ex's contact info down and put it somewhere then delete their contact. If you feel like contacting them in the future after you have both had time to heal, then you can pull out that piece of paper or maybe throw it away after you've had more time to think about it.
Author warrior04 Posted December 8, 2015 Author Posted December 8, 2015 I just noticed she went on my Facebook a couple times these last few weeks and deleted the new girl that is very pretty off of my account. I changed my password
Author warrior04 Posted December 8, 2015 Author Posted December 8, 2015 I just became friends with her on facebook and she deleted her saturday
Silver_star Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Jeesh. That is over stepping boundaries for sure. Don't ever respond to her. She is Crazy. 1
Author warrior04 Posted December 8, 2015 Author Posted December 8, 2015 This is why I'm confused. You don't want me but you checked my Facebook page multiple times and deleting ppl off of my page. Makes no sense
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