stillafool Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 As for menopause... its an excuse for some women to stop having sex with mates who treat them like shyte. Just like porn and his advancing age are excuses for men to not have sex or take care of erectile issues. In a healthy relationship, a woman who is in love with you will want to f*ck you and be intimate. If you treat her like shyte, she won't. This is so true. I've had friends who were in bad marriages enter menopause and dry up like a prune, divorce their husbands, date new men and voila! the dryness is gone. I think alot of married women have lost the desire for their husband before they enter menopause and good old menopause gives them the excuse they needed not to f--- him anymore. 1
Buddhist Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 And as a man in your 30s or even 40s, as long as you are still in shape and take care of yourself and have gainful employment, you'll be able to date women all the way down into their mid 20s that still have youthful vigor and are still horny. As a woman in her 40's I have no trouble at all dating men in their mid 20's. You are at your prime market value and will hold on to your market value for at least another 10-15 years assuming assuming you don't let yourself go to pot. So really anyone who looks after themselves can hold their 'market value' for another 10-15yrs if they are 30. It has nothing to do with being a man actually. Everything to do with being healthy. Take a good look at the average middle aged man and you'll see plenty of men falling off the cliff with their market value. Having a penis doesn't make you an instantly more attractive proposition. I must admit, reading Old Shirts post I thought I had mistakenly been directed to Reddit. 5
Heatherknows Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 As a woman in her 40's I have no trouble at all dating men in their mid 20's. So really anyone who looks after themselves can hold their 'market value' for another 10-15yrs if they are 30. It has nothing to do with being a man actually. Everything to do with being healthy. Take a good look at the average middle aged man and you'll see plenty of men falling off the cliff with their market value. Having a penis doesn't make you an instantly more attractive proposition. I must admit, reading Old Shirts post I thought I had mistakenly been directed to Reddit. LOL! For the record I wouldn't want to date a guy in his 20's or 30's. If I was single I'd want to date a man close to my age (47) who's in great shape.
Heatherknows Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 LOL! For the record I wouldn't want to date a guy in his 20's or 30's. If I was single I'd want to date a man close to my age (47) who's in great shape. ~Is very handsome. ~Knows how to court a woman. ~Thinks my dog is cute. ~Loves nature and... Never mind. I'm married.
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 (edited) As a woman in her 40's I have no trouble at all dating men in their mid 20's. So really anyone who looks after themselves can hold their 'market value' for another 10-15yrs if they are 30. It has nothing to do with being a man actually. Everything to do with being healthy. Take a good look at the average middle aged man and you'll see plenty of men falling off the cliff with their market value. Having a penis doesn't make you an instantly more attractive proposition. I must admit, reading Old Shirts post I thought I had mistakenly been directed to Reddit. Amen! I'm with Buddhist. I'm in my mid-forties and am constantly being pursued by men half my age. One of the most fulfilling relationships I've ever had was with a man 13 years younger for just over 3 years. We amicably ended things just recently for reasons that had nothing to do with our age gap. We were on the exact same page about all the most important things which is one of the reasons why it worked so well. The key to any relationship but especially with ones with big age gaps is open and honest communication. You need to be on the same page about what you both want. If you don't know right now, that's important to consider as well. Regarding this particular post, I'm not sure if anyone else caught this but the woman the OP is dating has already been married and divorced TWICE. That would be more of a red flag than her age. Edited December 7, 2015 by Michelle ma Belle 3
truth_seeker Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Amen! I'm with Buddhist. I'm in my mid-forties and am constantly being pursued by men half my age. One of the most fulfilling relationships I've ever had was with a man 13 years younger for just over 3 years. We amicably ended things just recently for reasons that had nothing to do with our age gap. We were on the exact same page about all the most important things which is one of the reasons why it worked so well. The key to any relationship but especially with ones with big age gaps is open and honest communication. You need to be on the same page about what you both want. If you don't know right now, that's important to consider as well. Regarding this particular post, I'm not sure if anyone else caught this but the woman the OP is dating has already been married and divorced TWICE. That would be more of the red flag more than her age. I love your open-mindedness. It's all about chemistry and compatibility - NOT age a gaps. However, I think age gaps work better if the man is older and the woman is younger only because of the option to have children (if the woman is 35+). I tried dating a divorced woman. Didn't work. She was never completely healed from her past relationships. After awhile I couldn't take being boyfriend and therapist. I let her go. Felt like being freed from prison.
OldRover Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Regarding this particular post, I'm not sure if anyone else caught this but the woman the OP is dating has already been married and divorced TWICE. That would be more of a red flag than her age. Yes, spot on with that. Age of only 15 years or so, doesn't make much difference. My older cousin has been dating one lady 13 years older than him for many years (~25+ years). She is now well into her 70s, looks great, stays in shape (as he does) and they get along just GREAT! The ages difference is not an issue. So, it's what you make it. The two divorces would be a bigger red flag than the age. Now, when you get much over a generation in age difference (20+ yrs), other issues come into play.... like dating your kid's friends. Now, statistically, women outlive men....so there's a chance the woman will out live the man. 1
Standard-Fare Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 I just don't see how we could be together when I'm 45 and she's 60...or me 55 and her 70! Can you imagine? I think these numbers seem absurd now because you have enough distance from them that they seem truly "old." Just like the way you probably felt about people in their 30s when you were a teenager. But as 50s, 60s and 70s start to feel more relatable, I can't imagine the age gap would feel all that different than it does now. That said, the kids thing. You say you don't really know if you want them. So what you'd be buying yourself, by departing this relationship, is the freedom to dicker around on that decision. That's reasonable if that's your desire. But what would be unfair is to dicker around on that privately while at the same time building up this relationship and not giving the woman any inkling of your doubts.
NoLeafClover Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Im 29 and I just absolutely love love love dating older women...screw that immature mentality of the usual 20-26 yr girls I keep running into. Just drama and dont know what they want. All the fun I've had was dating women over 30 ever since I was 24. It has seriously come down to as soon as I talk to a single woman older than me..things automatically become more interesting. If you are in the early 20s at the bar, you'd have to say some mature S*!t for me to really pay attention. Otherwise I'm just agreeing to everything you're saying and staring at the people behind you. Give me an older woman any day. No drama, know what they want and are straight to the point. 3
hippychick3 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Im 29 and I just absolutely love love love dating older women...screw that immature mentality of the usual 20-26 yr girls I keep running into. Just drama and dont know what they want. All the fun I've had was dating women over 30 ever since I was 24. It has seriously come down to as soon as I talk to a single woman older than me..things automatically become more interesting. If you are in the early 20s at the bar, you'd have to say some mature S*!t for me to really pay attention. Otherwise I'm just agreeing to everything you're saying and staring at the people behind you. Give me an older woman any day. No drama, know what they want and are straight to the point. That's awesome. My bf loves that I'm more mature than all the 20 somethings he used to date, and there's no drama. He's said over and over that I'm perfect for him especially because of my age. 2
Heatherknows Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 (edited) Give me an older woman any day. No drama, know what they want and are straight to the point. There's still drama but it's filled with subtext that seems "straight to the point." Edited December 7, 2015 by Heatherknows 1
Author TheBathWater Posted December 8, 2015 Author Posted December 8, 2015 Im 29 and I just absolutely love love love dating older women...screw that immature mentality of the usual 20-26 yr girls I keep running into. Just drama and dont know what they want. All the fun I've had was dating women over 30 ever since I was 24. It has seriously come down to as soon as I talk to a single woman older than me..things automatically become more interesting. If you are in the early 20s at the bar, you'd have to say some mature S*!t for me to really pay attention. Otherwise I'm just agreeing to everything you're saying and staring at the people behind you. Give me an older woman any day. No drama, know what they want and are straight to the point. I agree with this 100%. I have always preferred older women for these reasons, plus they seem to perform sexually in ways that younger women have no clue about. In this case though that I posted about, it's more about how much older exactly. But yeah, the no drama aspect as well as her knowing what it means to have chemistry, I really really like that. 1
camillalev Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 If you want a temporary FWB, there's nothing wrong with enjoying the company of a MILF while you look for a realistic mate. It's ok to enjoy her company, companionship and sexuality, just don't take yourself off of the general dating market. Here's the real catch of how this is a road to nowhere. In just a matter of a couple years or a handful of years, that hot MILF you are seeing now that is twirling you upside down and showing you things you never knew existed in bed is going to hit menopause. When that happens it going to be like talking to some dude in the grocery store. She's going to be as sexy as the average eunich librarian. And as a man in your 30s or even 40s, as long as you are still in shape and take care of yourself and have gainful employment, you'll be able to date women all the way down into their mid 20s that still have youthful vigor and are still horny. Giving serious thought to being with a premenopausal woman is a no-win scenario. You are at your prime market value and will hold on to your market value for at least another 10-15 years assuming assuming you don't let yourself go to pot. She is falling off the cliff on her market value. You are going to have way too many options to be able to hold yourself back. You may be digging her and thinking you have a future together now, but once she hits menopause and wants nothing to do with you in bed except maybe kill you in your sleep if you pi$$ed her off during the day and then some young cutie that still has a sex drive starts cuddling up to you, you won't be able to resist. You won't even want to resist. Your own body won't let you resist. If you two get invested in each other, it can only lead to pain, drama and complication when the inevitable break up will occur. Do yourself the favor now and just don't go there. Keep it casual. Stay on the market and don't limit your options. Don't go exclusive and don't make it a serious R. It's ok to go on Sat night dates and ok to do booty calls, but don't enter in to something that can't be maintained. LOL. 'Prime market value'? I'm in my 20s and have not been attracted to a man in their 40s and abive, neither are my friends. There is always an outlier or two but generally we are creeped the hell out by much older men that hit on us and genuinely believe they have a chance. One guy responded to my polite rejection by saying 'oh but I've dated women your age!' As if that would sway me at all sorry buddy I don't have daddy issues. I get some people like older partners male or female, and I'm sure some on here do, but in real life, amongst my friends and acquaintences here and elsewhere, many are not that way. The expectation many men have and maintain that every young 20/30 something is dying for a much older man is so delusional and false. 7
camillalev Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Yep. This qualifies as the most repulsive post of the day. I hear crusty stuff like this on these online relationship forums, but in real life, it's different. Second this. I knew his post would be sh*t as soon as he chose to refer to her as a 'milf' rather than a woman/human. 4
lino Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Enjoy it while you're with her and if you eventually want kids or find she's ageing too much, simply end it. No prepared explanations are needed. I'm sure she used plenty of men as stepping stones in her younger days, shouldn't be surprised if it happens to her once in her life. Just have fun, you owe nothing to anyone.
Heatherknows Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 LOL. 'Prime market value'? I'm in my 20s and have not been attracted to a man in their 40s and abive, neither are my friends. There is always an outlier or two but generally we are creeped the hell out by much older men that hit on us and genuinely believe they have a chance. One guy responded to my polite rejection by saying 'oh but I've dated women your age!' As if that would sway me at all sorry buddy I don't have daddy issues. I get some people like older partners male or female, and I'm sure some on here do, but in real life, amongst my friends and acquaintences here and elsewhere, many are not that way. The expectation many men have and maintain that every young 20/30 something is dying for a much older man is so delusional and false. I remember when I was in my 20's guys in their 40's were men who could date my mom. Yuck. 3
Heatherknows Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Second this. I knew his post would be sh*t as soon as he chose to refer to her as a 'milf' rather than a woman/human. Perhaps he feels bad and now he's out shopping for a new shirt.
truthtripper Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Well, I should add that I'm not completely set on the idea of having children either... BUT I just don't see how we could be together when I'm 45 and she's 60...or me 55 and her 70! Can you imagine? I know I'll want someone closer to my age and whose life expectancy is somewhat close to mine. She looks GREAT for her age right now though, and the sex is incredible, and of course I like the way we get along, so I could do it for a while...just not forever. You really shouldn't do it at all. Is it really worth dating someone who you perceive as disposable? It's narcissistic. 2
OldRover Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 You really shouldn't do it at all. Is it really worth dating someone who you perceive as disposable? It's narcissistic. Sure. There's tons of people that date without any expectations of a future, and are in it only for the moment.. that may end whenever. One doesn't have to be obligated for any permanence. Nothing narcissistic about it.
truthtripper Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 Sure. There's tons of people that date without any expectations of a future, and are in it only for the moment.. that may end whenever. One doesn't have to be obligated for any permanence. Nothing narcissistic about it. I don't think it's logical to continue a relationship with the deliberate intention of ending it at some stage. It's so contrived. Healthy relationships are open-ended and free to evolve. 3
OldRover Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 I don't think it's logical to continue a relationship with the deliberate intention of ending it at some stage. It's so contrived. Healthy relationships are open-ended and free to evolve. Why? If people are honest with each other up front, what's the issue? Who knows if it will end, but there's no issue in not making a long term commitment. That's probably more honest than a lot of people that make long term commitments and just break them. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 I'm going to agree with OldRover on this one. If two people in the relationship are open and honest and upfront about their relationship, whose to say it can't just be for the time being and still be sanctioned as "healthy"? I've done it. You enjoy the company and the time you have with them while you have it but you both know it isn't a forever thing. When it's done, it's done and you move on. But again, you BOTH have to be on the same page about this. It's called living in the moment
truth_seeker Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 LOL. 'Prime market value'? I'm in my 20s and have not been attracted to a man in their 40s and abive, neither are my friends. There is always an outlier or two but generally we are creeped the hell out by much older men that hit on us and genuinely believe they have a chance. One guy responded to my polite rejection by saying 'oh but I've dated women your age!' As if that would sway me at all sorry buddy I don't have daddy issues. I get some people like older partners male or female, and I'm sure some on here do, but in real life, amongst my friends and acquaintences here and elsewhere, many are not that way. The expectation many men have and maintain that every young 20/30 something is dying for a much older man is so delusional and false. If John Stamos or Derek Jeter hit on you and your friends, all of you would be all over them. It just so happens these older men hitting on you are not very good-looking...
truthtripper Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 You enjoy the company and the time you have with them while you have it but you both know it isn't a forever thing. It's called living in the moment I don't see it as living in the moment. It's living with restrictions, the exact opposite of freedom.
Heatherknows Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 (edited) I'm going to agree with OldRover on this one. If two people in the relationship are open and honest and upfront about their relationship, whose to say it can't just be for the time being and still be sanctioned as "healthy"? I've done it. You enjoy the company and the time you have with them while you have it but you both know it isn't a forever thing. When it's done, it's done and you move on. But again, you BOTH have to be on the same page about this. It's called living in the moment The theory of that is interesting but most people aren't wired to bond with those who they know will leave. Plus, I have a feeling this women doesn't want to "live in the moment" with the OP. If he says "Look I just want you to know I want to date and have fun but not looking for anything serious." She might say "Yeah...me too." But she probably won't mean it. This is why the five year rule is a good one: Date five years older or younger max. Edited December 8, 2015 by Heatherknows
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