QueenDeath Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 A week ago or so, I made a post on how I had the urge to unblock my ex. I got some good advice and then today, I just went against it. We used to be apart of the same Facebook group for ex-Christians and I went into the group, I didn't see anything extreme, I was reminded of why I called him my best friend. Seeing that, it was messed me up on the inside and I started to cry tears. Truthfully, I did this to myself so it's more like I rained on my own parade and since last night. I've been a mess, it's driving me insane, the fact that I still care so deeply about him that it is impacting me so much just from seeing him post in a group and looking at his profile and seeing his pictures. The impact that he has on me is unbelievable. I don't know if it's because of me being 20 years old that makes me feel this way. However, my close friends live out of state since I joined the forum ( how me and him met ). Losing my close friends and best friend where I live is already hard enough and then losing someone who I thought was going to be a lifetime friend. It sucks. I realized that I don't love him like a boyfriend anymore, I don't want him as a boyfriend. But my god, he was a great best friend for me. I doubt that he feels the same way and it's hurtful thinking that I don't matter to him. All I want to do is talk to him and I'm fighting this battle of not talking to him that I'm so far winning. Mourning the loss of someone who used to be your best friend sucks.
drallafi Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 You know, we so often mourn the loss of a lover that often we don't even realize how much we sometimes just miss our friend. Breakups are traumatic in so many ways... I'm sorry you're going through this. Hang in there, you'll be okay eventually. 2
Author QueenDeath Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 And it's so upsetting being here wondering if he truly acknowledges what he did instead of putting all the blame on me for the breakup. I accept whatever responsibility for whatever I did throughout the relationship, I don't know if he did and it's bothersome.
Triggs1234 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 You know, we so often mourn the loss of a lover that often we don't even realize how much we sometimes just miss our friend. Breakups are traumatic in so many ways... I'm sorry you're going through this. Hang in there, you'll be okay eventually. very true. My ex broke up with me and in many ways it was beneficial to me, but there are many times where I miss her a lot and just hearing from her as she was indeed my best friend and just someone that meant so much. It also just sucks accepting that you are no longer a part of their life. I will tell you the hardest thing for me is just realizing it is a good possibility that she likely doesn't think of me or miss me or anything anymore. 1
Author QueenDeath Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 You know, we so often mourn the loss of a lover that often we don't even realize how much we sometimes just miss our friend. Breakups are traumatic in so many ways... I'm sorry you're going through this. Hang in there, you'll be okay eventually. This so much. I got over having him as a lover and now I feel as if there's this next hurdle I have to get over and that's getting over having him as a best friend. I just miss my best friend and wonder if he feels the same.
Author QueenDeath Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 very true. My ex broke up with me and in many ways it was beneficial to me, but there are many times where I miss her a lot and just hearing from her as she was indeed my best friend and just someone that meant so much. It also just sucks accepting that you are no longer a part of their life. I will tell you the hardest thing for me is just realizing it is a good possibility that she likely doesn't think of me or miss me or anything anymore. You see, that's the hurtful part for me. It's wondering if I really did matter to this person or not. Does me not being there impact them at all or do they just not care, while you're here mourning them and they just don't care 1
Captivating Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 How about letting him know that you would like to keep being friends with him whenever he is ready. Tell him that you really value and miss his friendship even if things romantically didn't work out.
Author QueenDeath Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 How about letting him know that you would like to keep being friends with him whenever he is ready. Tell him that you really value and miss his friendship even if things romantically didn't work out. This is something that I refused to do. Not only because I would be breaking contact, also considering it can go either way. I wouldn't want to add on to more hurt by him rejecting me. Then again it can also go good, however, doubt that it will. I rather just not do that.
Triggs1234 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 You see, that's the hurtful part for me. It's wondering if I really did matter to this person or not. Does me not being there impact them at all or do they just not care, while you're here mourning them and they just don't care I unfortunately think the same way and think about that all the time. I really have accepted it is likely that she doesn't think of me and has completely forgotten about me. I am trying to do the same albeit I really don't want to. It does suck though. I have questioned many times if I actually meant something to this person or I didn't, because if I truly did, throwing someone out of your life shouldn't be that easy. 1
jack237 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Almost six years since I ended what should have been never-ending. I do miss the romantic aspect in someways. But mostly. I miss my best friend. She just got me. And i got her. That doesn't happen often. And I messed it up. I dont know if more than a day or two goes by where I wouldn't give anything just to talk to her. She always made everything alright. And since we lost each other, things have never been the same.
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