hiya1991 Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 I met a guy in early october and as soon as we met we instantly hit it off, we both saw a lot of each other over the next two weeks and I was pretty excited. I would never use the phrase “love at first sight” but if I did I would say thats what it was. It was then that Ross dropped the bombshell he was only in town visiting family and would be moving back to london to focus on his career. I was quite disapointed by this news and although two weeks is not a long time we really had grown close, we had saw each other most days and were messaging almost constantly . He said he would be leaving the next week and although my head told me to not see him again as he was leaving, we decided to make the best of the situation and spend as much time together before he left. He decided to stay longer and stayed for around a month, we got extremely close and I often hung out with him and his best friend Kirk. A lot of my friends did not like Ross, they thought he was trouble but everyone liked the quieter Kirk. It soon emerged Kirk had a crush on me which Ross realised. The last night I saw Ross we talked for three hours about how he felt torn because he needed to go back to London but he also did not want to leave me as like I had said too, this didn’t happen often for him. We both agreed that had we both been in the same place we would be together no question. He had also said his fears that after leaving Kirk would try to pursue things with me and asked me not to go there. When he left I was pretty upset, I felt like I always had the worst luck with guys after a string of disapointments this year alone. Everyone told me they thought it was for the best, no one liked Ross. Kirk was really lovely and supportive after Ross left and without sounding too pathetic he did make me feel special when I was down. He did and said all the right things, everyone loved him and I thought maybe everyones right and this really great guy has been under my nose the whole time. He visited Ross in London and explained to him his feelings for me. He asked him permisson to date me, which Ross agreed and he said they were cool, which I really respected Kirk for doing. He came back and asked me to give him a chance and let him take me on a date, I thought I had nothing to lose as Ross had gone and wasn’t coming back, why potentually let a good thing pass if Ross said he was fine with it. We had a great time and although Ross was in the back of my mind I thought in time those feelings would pass. I was happy to finally be with someone who respected me and although it wasn’t fireworks like it was with Ross it was nice. As I have got to know Kirk more he isn’t quite Mr nice as I first thought, it was little things which my friend also noticed. He spoke to me in a very degrading way during a night out and I ended things with him the next day. I agreed to give him a second chance with a lot of doubts playing in my mind. We went out this saturday for a night out just the two of us, we were having a good time but were in for a big shock. After going into our local we saw Ross sat in the corner, he said he thought he’d see us together and I immediatly knew he wasn’t ok about it. He said after money problems not out of choice he was back for good. I felt awful, if I had known Ross would come back I would have never have gone there with Kirk. All my feelings came rushing back but Ross could barely look at me. He told me even though he said he was he hasn't been ok with Kirk and I together and has missed me and still has feelings for me. It hurts so much to think I have created this mess. I have no idea what to do, I feel like I’m now in too deep with kirk after just meeting his family, he’s so happy I don’t want to hurt him. But I’m so crazy about Ross, even if he wanted to start dating I feel like I can’t now because I got involved with Kirk. I can’t empithize how strong I feel about Ross. I know I shouldn’t have dated Kirk but I wasn’t thinking properly I was so depressed about Ross leaving I guess I was filling a void, I also feel like Kirk knew this and took advantage of that. What do I do now? 1
Captivating Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Talk to Ross and tell him everything you've said here ! Ask him what he would have done in your situation and to try to see the things objectively. Tell him that although this is a mess that you all created, your heart aches for him and would like to get back together with him. (if that's what you want)
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