small town boy Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 (edited) Hi I have been with my girlfriend for a few months now, we were friends for least two years before that. Until recently things were just amazing, we would message each other when we could, she would send me lovely messages that I was the best guy ever and that I treat her well. However since we came back off holiday, during it she started changing by being a little withdrawn and snappy, I put this to her being tired and not getting much sleep during the holiday. Since she left my house a few days ago she has become even more distant, lucky now if I get a text or two a day, at one point she didn't contact me for three days. She did however later say sorry saying she was so tired from working, to be fair she regularly does 10 sometime more hours a day, plus she does also have another job and even babysits, so most of the time she won't get a day off. She has also said we are fine and she is not going off me, so I am wondering how can I support her more?, we are a few hours apart which don't help. However I don't want to give up, also wondering how can we get it back to what it was before the holiday? Also I am trying hard not to bombard her with texts either. Edited December 6, 2015 by small town boy
d0nnivain Posted December 6, 2015 Posted December 6, 2015 Try to relax. See if things improve after the holidays. This is a stressful time of year 1
Author small town boy Posted December 6, 2015 Author Posted December 6, 2015 Try to relax. See if things improve after the holidays. This is a stressful time of year I know, just hard to relax, I have been dumped in the past near Christmas so that don't help. Just hope she comes round.
smackie9 Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Sometimes you get too much exposure to each other and need a break. Some people are just like that. Keep busy, let her have her breather, she will come around. 1
Author small town boy Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 Sometimes you get too much exposure to each other and need a break. Some people are just like that. Keep busy, let her have her breather, she will come around. Yeah that plus with early starts 7 days a week don't help I guess, just hope she will come round eventually.
Glitters Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 She could be pulling away , the fade. You guys going from friends to lovers may not be working for her.
Redfisher Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Does she suffer from depression or anxiety?
Redfisher Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Also if you are worried about losing her, Just ask her what you need to do...Sounds funny but it can work, Just say what you noticed and how she would like to be treated in these situations...I've done this before and have some tell me they want support a certain way and some say to give them time others just want hugged and for you to be there but not to say much.
Author small town boy Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 She could be pulling away , the fade. You guys going from friends to lovers may not be working for her. Well worse case this could be happening, she did say currently during a rough spell though she'd tell me if she wanted out. Although maybe saying that to me and actually doing that might be hard for her.
Author small town boy Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 Also if you are worried about losing her, Just ask her what you need to do...Sounds funny but it can work, Just say what you noticed and how she would like to be treated in these situations...I've done this before and have some tell me they want support a certain way and some say to give them time others just want hugged and for you to be there but not to say much. Yeah I could try that, maybe a case of seeing what I can do to help her? it seems sometimes just giving her total space seems to help at times but I don't want to ignore her. I was thinking of surprising her with a gift maybe in a weeks time as I am not too far from her area anyway.
d0nnivain Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 I know, just hard to relax, I have been dumped in the past near Christmas so that don't help. Just hope she comes round. You are projecting. Because this happened to you in the past, you fear it's happening again. Force yourself not to freak or become clingy. Act confident & plan another date as though nothing is wrong. Fake it 'til you make it. 2
Author small town boy Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 You are projecting. Because this happened to you in the past, you fear it's happening again. Force yourself not to freak or become clingy. Act confident & plan another date as though nothing is wrong. Fake it 'til you make it. Yeah it is the fear because it happened just before Christmas last year guess I am fearing it again. However we did text tonight she asked what I wanted for Christmas, and I said later I missed her and she said she did miss me too so guess there's no danger right.
d0nnivain Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Think positive. Also start planning what you will be doing together for NYE.
Author small town boy Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 Think positive. Also start planning what you will be doing together for NYE. I know just hard especially being apart, well just hope she don't cancel NYE, we had planned to go out that night. Originally we were gonna also meet a week before Christmas but she had to cancel that one because she's had to babysit.
Oregon_Dude Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 She's backing away from the relationship slowly. She likely wants to end it but doesn't want to be direct about it. So just go silent and let her contact you if she wants. Chasing her will just make her pull away more. Go no contact for now. She knows where to find you. I will say that the distance is a problem. In the future, try to date people who live closer to you. 1
Author small town boy Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 Can you go to where she is babysitting? Usually it would be fine as she usually babysits for her sister, but this is a family friend so they might be reluctant.
Sparta Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 (edited) Yeah I get what he saying he's detecting something else. when you're in a relationship your intuition starts tell when you somethings not right. There something more than this. I'm not sure but it's probably Something Wong the lines, when she told him she had to babysit... That's what probably got the wheel spinning..? Also when you go from texting every day to minimal texting or communication huge Red flag. It's not just you had a bad experience, Last year. The best thing to do buddy is to do what the other poster said act like you're busy plan other things go out with buddies... Edited December 7, 2015 by Sparta
Author small town boy Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 Could she be just telling the truth that she is simply knackered from doing 10 hour days pretty much every day and not having a day off or a lie in?
Oregon_Dude Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Could she be just telling the truth that she is simply knackered from doing 10 hour days pretty much every day and not having a day off or a lie in?Let me ask you this: when you're tired, do you still want to talk to your GF?
Author small town boy Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 Let me ask you this: when you're tired, do you still want to talk to your GF? Not always
Myragal Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 Sometimes you get too much exposure to each other and need a break. Some people are just like that. Keep busy, let her have her breather, she will come around. Then it is not going anywhere. As a woman I want to fall asleep and wake up in my guy's arms 7 days a week...forever. We all need time alone and our space but not because of over exposure to each other. We should be able to chill out with our partner...alone time with him, regenerating. We don't need to spend all of our time together but time together should not be draining. If one doesn't achieve that 'nice easy feeling' in a relationship after a few months and spending a vacation together then...yikes. Not a good sign of things to come.
Recommended Posts