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Can't get along with my girlfriends family?


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Posted

I'm 23 years old and have been dating my girlfriend over 4 years. We are long distance at the moment (just graduated college) and I'm on the west coast, she's a few states over. I go visit her when I can which is not that often. My girlfriend always tries to include me in her family events when I visit but her family (mostly her dad) want nothing to do with me. I try to be nice, I treat her well and have a decent job. We have broken up before and I have thought about it recently because of the family issues. But how should I react to this? I want to visit her but every time I come she insists I do everything with her family but it creates tons of tension. Advice??!

Posted

If you want to marry this girl you BOTH have to get it right with her family. Sticking you in family situations isn't going to change things......she needs to have a serious conversation with her Dad about how disrespectful they all have been with you and it needs to stop.

 

What you can do, is present very solid plans for their daughter's future. They only see a guy that doesn't have any real plans, like a job/career/financial stability/ when you two are going to get engaged, etc. They only want the best for their daughter and you are going to have to prove it.

 

I can see why they are weary of you because you are so physically absent, they don't trust you.....you both now need to get the wheels turning on what the future holds.

Posted

What were the circumstances of you two breaking up? I can guarantee you that her dad saw her reaction to the break up and anyone who breaks his baby girl's heart is on his isht list.

 

You're going to have to figure out how to get along with her family if you want to be with her. Especially if she is still financially dependent upon her family--is living at home, parents paying her college/bills/insurance, etc.

Posted

I would just suck it up and deal. It's totally common for spouses and families to not get along great- how can you expect it to improve if you never give it a chance for improvement? It's not easy, but it'll be worth it.

Posted

23, dating her since you were 19, broken up before, family doesn't like you, maybe this relationship has run its course?

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